HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

 

          Fifty-eight years ago this evening, John and I became husband and wife. He’s not here to celebrate with me and I miss his presence deeply on this particular day. It is a number we would have celebrated together with cards, dinner, drinks and physical afffection.

          Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of his passing. I had told him that day it was okay to move ahead and go beyond to join my father and those he loved who went before. Our son, AJ, did a masterful job of remembering and celebrating his father and his family and I was touched and pleased that he wanted me to publish it on Facebook.

          I remember being so young and so in love that the thought, the very idea of days like yesterday and today weren’t even on my personal horizon. I’m still amazed at how quickly all those years passed. It doesn’t seem all that long ago the two of us were just beginning our journey together. Looking back, it’s true we had our difficult times, but the good times, the good memories far outweigh any negativity that visited and that negativity was always on a temporary basis.

          Just yesterday our granddaughter, Haley, asked me for some examples of her Pa’s handwriting. I thought perhaps she was going to weld me a sign that said, “I love you, John,” but no, she wants to have a tattoo on her body with her Pa’s name. In the process of looking for a good example, I pulled out of the closet the three big shoeboxes of cards we gave each other, our sons and the cards our sons, granddaughter and friends gave us.

          I spent yesterday afternoon on a trip down memory lane. My dining room table is currently a big mess that spills over onto the kitchen counter. I decided as I went through all those cards that I would return to our children and grandchildren the cards they bestowed over all those years. And, in the process, I found a few gems I thought had already been passed on. To AJ will go the pictograph letters his dad sent him from Naknek Alaska in 1977. To Thor will go the teapot shaped card he gave me with a Stash Peppermint Herb Teabag still in its wrapper with a little rhyme that says, "...I'll try my best in every way, but when you get upset with me, relax and have a pot of tea. 

          In all these cards I also found ones that friends had given both John and I. In some cases, I am thinking about putting them in an envelope and returning them with a thank you for the love and affection provided when the card was given, but also the love and affection and great memories they provided this, the second time. I wonder if those recipients will be pleased with this gift.

          It is my hope our children, grandchildren and friends will enjoy looking at these pieces from our pasts. I hope it reminds them of the love we held/hold for each other. My journey yesterday brought some tears, but more than anything else, a tremendous feeling of being surrounded by love throughout our entire pasts right up through the typing of this blog.

HEART HEALTH UPDATE

 

          For more than a week now, I’ve been trying to write a post about how I’m doing after my heart attack and stent placement. I want to be informative as well as amusing; however, my funny bone seems to have been affected in some way and refuses to find humor in much of anything these days…very annoying, not to mention depressing.

Anyway, as of this afternoon, it has been three weeks since the doctors placed six stents in my cardiac arteries. I’m still amazed by what they did, the fact they needed to do it, and how much better I think I’m feeling as a result. The miracle of modern medicine undoubtedly saved my life.

          As for how I’ve been doing and am doing currently, I still feel very tired and could probably take a nap every afternoon, but rarely do. Of course, if I lay down to read my book, then the next thing I know, I’m waking up and the I-pad is on my chest. I’m assuming it’s just my body adjusting to blood coursing through all my veins and arteries the way it’s supposed to.

I’m also fighting off depression, i.e., how can I possibly be depressed when I’m alive and better off than before stents (BS). Doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, although some articles I’ve read seem to indicate becoming depressed can be considered normal. Part of the depression may be not having a normal schedule as I did before all this happened. That will change Friday when I return to my fitness class. I don't have to wait six weeks to exercise after all...good news. That means I’ll see people three days a week rather than just now and then. I’m sure that will assist with lifting the depression…I do miss my friends and my schedule.

To keep myself busy, I’ve been working around the house and in the garden. I did become a bit concerned during the weed wars when my heart rate got up into the 120s. I felt just fine, but thought I should check it out on the internet. Turns out my optimum heart rate with exercise is 137 beats per minute, so I had more than a few beats to spare. That’s good news, or at least I think so.

          The week after the procedure, I saw the cardiologist as well as another doctor from my personal doctor’s team. It certainly seemed like overkill to me, but the general MD did order blood and urine tests which the cardio MD did not. I also received a covid booster. I would have gotten the flu shot as well, but it won’t be available until fall. Now, the good Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, I don’t have to go back until October.

          I’ve also been talking to my cardiology nurse once a week about how I’m doing and how to go about changing my lifelong habits so they are more heart healthy. I must admit I haven’t been doing a very good job, i.e., last week I had two (2) bacon cheeseburgers, onion rings and two (2) small milkshakes, not to mention a restaurant breakfast. Add to that the fact I only walked two (2) days during the week and there are no gold stars next to my name. On the other hand, I did purchase a heart healthy cookbook for one, and except for those two BAD days, I’ve paid close attention to my diet…I was paying attention those two days too, but OMG, every single bite was absolutely yummy.

           Lastly, there’s my brain function. I’m beginning to wonder if some of the plaque in my arteries got loose during the procedure and has taken up residence in my head. Or, I suppose it could be due to being tired, but I find myself searching for words when talking or thinking. Eventually what I’m looking for churns its way to the surface, but I sure hate the wait and sometimes the wait is so long, the conversation has moved on to another topic. Did these spells last this long BS or does it just seem that way because of my experience and my search for changes?

          I also have a new mattress which arrived yesterday. It came all rolled up and the delivery guy carried it in on one shoulder. I was amazed how it EXPANDED once they took off the plastic wrap. He told me it would take 24-48 hours for it to fully expand, so Kuma and I alternated between the twin bed and the couch all night…I’m tired today and figure we’ll sleep like logs tonight. I decided on getting a new mattress because there was no back pain when I got up in the hospital, but it returned big time the first night home. I have high hopes this new mattress will alleviate any further suffering…I’m way more than ready.

          So, there you go. This is how I’m doing three weeks out. I wish I could have posted more amusing information, but like I said, my funny bone refuses to cooperate. I’ve great hopes that once I’m working hard at being fit, it will wake up and rise to any challenge I…or anyone else…might present.

MY REFURBISHED HEART

   

       Those of you who read my blog are aware of my June diagnosis of Stable Angina. What you don’t know is the fact it developed into Unstable Angina. I began to keep track of the episodes on June 27^th. By the end of the day July 8^th, I had had a total of twenty-six episodes and the last six had occurred on that very day. Was I concerned? Sort of, but if I took a nitroglycerin tablet and breathed, the episode went away within five minutes or so.

          On July 9^th, I had my scheduled phone call with the cardiology nurse. This is the program I joined to improve my heart health. I had sent her the table of my episodes sans the last day, i.e., July 8^th. We didn’t do the scheduled program after we talked about the table and the previous day’s six episodes. She said she wanted to talk to my cardiologist and would get back to me.

          The cardiologist called me a few hours later, the end result of which was for me to go to Swedish Cherry Hill Emergency and be admitted to the hospital as soon as possible. She planned to have an angioplasty performed the following day. I wasn’t prepared for this, i.e., Xander was spending the night, so his dad had to come get him. AJ needed to come get me and take me to the hospital. Haley had to come stay at my house for the night with Kuma.

          After a small glitch regarding my admission (the orders couldn’t be found initially), the paperwork was completed and I was in a room hooked up to all the machines as I had been the beginning of June. In the ER, however, I was told the cardiac enzymes indicated I had had a small heart attack…how about that!!! Let me add here that I had had no episodes at all on Tuesday, having made sure I moved slowly all day. The heart attack must have happened on Monday but none of the six episodes, or any of the episodes really, seemed like my idea of a heart attack. Once I was settled in, AJ went home.

          After a not so restful night (they kept coming in to check this and that), a woman showed up early and performed an echocardiogram. She told me she couldn’t tell me anything because the doctor had to read the results. Seriously, how does she know what to look for and document if she cannot read what she’s seeing on the screen???

          Nurses were in and out and a total of three doctors came in to see me. The first one was Dr. Brown and he was the most important since he would be the one doing the angioplasty. A variety of times for the procedure were given but finally, a nurse came in and hauled me off to the operating room. I thought I was totally aware during the entire procedure; however, I was totally wrong.

          As it turned out, I was extremely fortunate I didn’t have a huge heart attack and fall over dead. I did, however, have a Non-ST Segment Elevation Myocardial Infarction. Dr. Brown installed six, that’s SIX, stents in my heart. A percutaneous coronary intervention was performed on my left anterior descending coronary artery and two stents were placed. A percutaneous coronary intervention was performed on my circumflex coronary artery and two stents placed. A percutaneous coronary intervention was performed on my left main coronary artery and two stents installed.  There’s a lot more verbiage in Dr. Brown’s report; however, this is what was accomplished.

          Dr. Brown’s report was completed with the following, “This was a complex procedure due to bifurcation disease, calcification. Additional work required beyond usual steps included serial balloon dilations, T-stenting left main bifurcation. Usual time for this procedure is 30 min and this took 70 min.” I guess you could say I was one lucky individual to have survived long enough to have the procedure(s).

          My chest hurt when I was returned to my room. The nurse gave me a Percocet and I pretty much slept/dozed until the following day except for the multiple times nurses came in to check a wide variety of physical responses. Eventually, discharge orders were written and AJ came to pick me up and take me home.

          My orders at this point in time is to remain calm and rest for about the next week. I’m also to not do anything that requires great physical exertion for six weeks. I am to take up walking on a daily basis but not to the extent I am exerting myself. Of the three new prescriptions given in June, one has been deleted and two new ones added. I have two cardiology appointments next week and one at the end of the month.

          Let me tell you how absolutely amazed I am by all of this. I am also extremely amazed I’m still alive. I was a walking heart attack just waiting to happen. AJ, Thor and other family and friends could be planning my memorial service today instead of just checking in to make sure I’m doing okay and don’t need anything. Seriously, how could my coronary arteries become so bad while my body continued to move about as though there were nothing wrong…my heart rate got up to 124 beats/minute exactly one week before the myocardial infarction.

          In any case, I guess I’ve been given a new lease on life, or at least will be after the next six weeks. I’m not exactly sure what that means at this point in time, but I’m sure those six weeks will give me the time I need to reflect and plan for the future. I’m also extremely grateful for the staff at Swedish Cherry Hill and Dr. Brown and his crew for saving my life. I’m also extremely grateful for my family and friends who rallied round to take care of stuff when I couldn’t and who will continue to monitor my well-being.

          I think you could say I’m one enormously lucky woman.

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY KUMA!!!

 

Today is Kuma’s second birthday. It’s hard to believe this furry fuzz-muffin  has been my companion for so long…it will be two years in October that he came home with me. I cannot begin to share just how much he has added to my life when it comes to love, laughter and, of course, annoyances.

Unfortunately, I sometimes feel that even though Kuma knows I’m his person, I’m letting him down. He loves to play bally-ball either in the cul-de-sac or at bally-ball hill…that involves a car ride with his head hanging out the window to catch all the new smells. I feel like I should play bally-ball with him every single day and I don’t. It seems, to me, like that is horribly unfair to him. If he had a younger person, he’d definitely get more exercise.

Still, I am his person and he does love me just as much or more than I love him. I do toss his chickie-ball and beefy-ball down the hall repeatedly during the day. He loves to chase it, make it squeak and play keep-away even though he wants to have it thrown again. And, if he did have a younger person, would that person be ready for bedtime peepee and bed at 8:30 pm…I think not although I’m sure Kuma would have adjusted his schedule.

I do spoil the heck out of him. He has free reign of the entire house and all the furniture. Whatever I’m eating, he gets the last bite and maybe one or two in between. I purchase frozen boney-bones and he gets one a day. When I have a project and need him to be occupied, I give him a big one. Whenever possible, he goes wherever I go as long as it isn’t too hot. And, even in winter, I open his window and turn up the car heater so he can stick his head out. I also give him lots of hugs, pats, loves and talk to him often even though he cannot respond, although I swear there are times he knows exactly what I'm saying and how I'm feeling.

This year with the nice weather, we have developed a special time at the end of the day. Kuma gets a frozen boney-bone and I get my martini. I sit and enjoy my deck and garden and sip my drink while he snuffles and chews his bone…very relaxing for both of us. I know it’s time to go in when he brings me his clean boney-bone. Not long after, it’s time for bed.

I’m not giving Kuma a birthday party, but I did make him a hat. Getting him to pose in the hat was not an easy task…it took a lot of treats, but I finally managed to get a couple of photos with the hat on his head. I also filled up two of his hollow toys with spendy dog food and put them in the freezer. He’s enjoying one as a reward for the hat photo as I type this. There’s another, bigger one waiting in the freezer for later today.

I love, love, love this doggie. He’s added so much to my life and I’m so very grateful.  Happy Second Birthday Kuma-doo-doo…may you have many many more.

WEED WAR

 

          Last Monday I went to the senior center for my fitness class. At the end of the class, we were informed that a staff member had tested positive for covid so the center would be closed most likely until Wednesday while they did a deep cleaning. As it turned out, the center was to remain closed until Monday, July 8^th.

          Wow, an entire week with nothing on the calendar. No appointments, no classes, absolutely nothing. So, I know you’re asking yourself, what did I decide to do with all that free time. Well, wait no longer for the answer…GARDENING!!!!

          Until this year, I’ve always begun my weed war in February and continued on through the entire growing season. Because of my back issues, I did not get out there and do a single thing. Let me tell you, the weeds were so damn grateful. They flourished as if given a huge shot of fertilizer. They pretty much took over all the flowerbeds.

          This week, I spent hours out there removing weeds. I have almost filled my yard waste tote to over-flowing. And, still, I’m not done. I did, however, find three dahlias I didn’t know had returned. Of course, they’re not very big, but I’m going to protect them with wire cages and provide a hefty drink of fertilizer. I also found a couple of hydrangeas I’d forgotten I had transplanted to the back garden. My hope or plan is to put hydrangeas all through the back flowerbed and just have these easy-care plants. I’m hoping the transplanted ones that made it through the winter will flourish now they aren't buried under weeds.

          I’m going to see how the rest of the summer progresses, but it may be time for me to bite the bullet and hire more than just a kid to mow and edge the lawn. Perhaps it’s time to look at and determine if the budget will allow me to engage a firm that has employees that know a weed from a flower to come and fight off the weeds. Perhaps a service that would come once a month and beat them back. And, in looking at that, perhaps it’s time to evaluate whether or not the budget would allow a housekeeper a time or two a month.

          And, no, I’m not becoming lazy, just older and kinda feeling it after my weeding marathon.

COMING TO TERMS WITH ANGINA???

 

          I haven’t blogged recently because I’ve been attempting to come to terms with the latest curve ball my body has thrown at me…seriously, do they ever stop coming once you reach a certain age. In any case, I haven’t felt like blogging because most of what I’d blog about would be more negative than positive and I hate negativity so why share.

          In any case, I still am having trouble understanding how my body could go from being what I considered normal to having a heart that decides it’s not getting enough blood so has to cause angina. It seems like there should have been some sort of warm up to the whole thing. You know, kind of like you exercise and your muscle is sore until you exercise some more. Well, this angina thing just came out of left field (what’s with these baseball references…I don’t even like baseball) and surprised the shit out of me…not literally, but close.

          I’ve been keeping track of the “episodes,” since I guess that’s what you call them, and think perhaps bending over may be a trigger. That or I need to concentrate on my breathing when I’m brushing Kuma. I guess I also need to concentrate on moving at a slower pace than what I’m used to because if I move quickly as I’ve always done, it leads to an episode.

          On the other hand, I go to my fitness class and bounce around for the first thirty minutes, i.e., the aerobic portion, and my heart rate goes up to 120+ and there’s no episode whatsoever. What’s with that? Wouldn’t it seem that if I have an episode from walking fast, I’d have an episode when my heart rate is high? I just don’t understand.

          I’ve had my first phone call with the cardiology nurse who’s going to shepherd me through the next twelve weeks. She’s sent me information via email as well as a booklet entitled, “Home Based Cardiac Rehab.” In talking with her and reading the information in the booklet, I’ve come to the conclusion that I was already doing pretty much everything that’s being recommended with the exception of a few things. The first is I use 2% milk in my lattes and cereal…recommendation is nonfat. The second is I eat a lot of cheese…recommendation is NONE. The third is my alcohol consumption…recommendation is NONE. I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to change a single one of these…my only remaining pleasure is eating and drinking. The booklet also indicates I need to eat more vegetables and fruit. This I can do.

          AJ has also been very supportive since he’s suffered with angina for a number of years. He brought me a booklet entitled, “Get Tough on Angina.” It’s supposed to be my guide to understanding and taking control of my angina, and there was some new information I didn’t know, but I’m still confused as to why. For instance, yesterday I worked in the garden most of the morning. Sitting, leaning, standing, leaning and not a single symptom. Stopped, ate lunch and went back to gardening. Resumed sitting, leaning and reaching for those damned weeds and bang, an episode. AJ told me eating sends blood to my tummy which sends less to my heart.    

I have to admit this whole angina thing is a bit scary. Fear doesn’t bother me during the day, but at night when I’m in bed with just Kuma, the fears do rise and cause anxiety. Living alone at times like these makes the scary even scarier. It’s not like I couldn’t call 911 if I needed to because I certainly could. I guess it’s knowing that it’s just me, myself and I (Kuma couldn’t do much) were there to be a problem. It makes the loneliness even lonelier.

The next cardiac RN appointment is Tuesday and will send her the records I’ve been keeping on Monday. Perhaps she’ll have additional information that will be of benefit. Then, I see the cardiologist the following Tuesday and will get my fasting blood work done the Monday before.

Still, it could be worse, a lot worse, so it’s best I choose to be thankful for better living through chemistry, a good health program and the love and support of family and friends.

MONDAY BLEW UP BUT MY HEART'S JUST FINE

 

My Monday blew up big-time and I’m not referring to the wind storm we had. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had three episodes of chest pain, the first being the worst. I made the mistake late Sunday afternoon of sending my doctor an email asking, “Should I have called 911 when this happened?” followed by, “Should I call 911 if it happens again?” I also included my blood pressure reading from the episode that afternoon.

Well, after emails and phone calls, the medical consensus was I should report to Urgent Care on Capital Hill for evaluation. Okay, fine. I took myself there expecting to spend a few hours…NOT TWO DAYS!!!

The first indication I could be there for a while was when they hooked me up to an IV, blood pressure cuff and one of those beeping heart monitors. Blood was taken and I was asked repeatedly, “How do you feel?” Fine was always my answer because I did feel just fine. “Do you have any pain?” No was always my answer because there was none. I mean, really, I FELT JUST FINE!!!!

Several hours later I was told I would be transferred to Swedish Cherry Hill hospital. “Excuse me? Why?” I was told I needed an echocardiogram and a stress test and those could only be performed in the hospital. As soon as a bed opened up, I’d be taken there.

Well, crap, just crap. What about my car? What about my dog? So, I called
AJ who called his brother Thor. They both came to see me when Thor brought AJ to retrieve my car. I’m lucky they’re both available days on Mondays. They stayed for a while, their behavior more reminiscent of pre-pubescent boys than men, but they amused me. Haley agreed to stay overnight with Kuma…in the dark no less.

Now, began more tests and x-rays. I don’t know how much blood they eventually drew from me, but it was through the IV which, unfortunately had to be moved. The first poke didn’t bruise, the second poke gave me an orange-sized purple mark and the third worked and when removed only left a small red mark. I honestly don’t know how many tests they did, but I spent about thirty minutes looking at all of them this morning and trying to decipher some of the lingo.

All this while waiting for a bed at Swedish Cherry Hill. The result of this wait is that I spent the night in the Urgent Care room. This actually worked out, however, because the decision was made to do the stress test in Urgent Care. I didn’t even have to walk a treadmill. They did it via some medication which makes your heart rate increase. This test was preceded by the injection of some stuff and some kind of imaging. The young man who took me down to radiology drove my wheelchair fast…the most fun I had the whole time. Then came the injection of the get the heart rate up stuff and an EKG during the four minutes or so the med works. A bit later, another fast…and fun…trip to radiology for another set of images.

Finally, the woman who is now my cardiologist…aren’t I the lucky girl to have one of my very own…came down to see me. The end result of all the tests is that I have a small blockage, i.e., the blood still gets through to my heart, just not as much as possible when my blood pressure goes up. At this point in time…and never I hope…there’s no need for an angiogram or any kind of surgery. We’ll treat it with medication that will expand my blood vessels, remove cholesterol from my gut and who knows what else. I’ll be more knowledgeable about the meds once they arrive in the mail and I can read the accompanying information. It looks like, however, that I’ve now gone from four prescription medications to eight…better living through chemistry, right.

There will also be a cardiac nurse who will call me every Monday afternoon for a month to talk about how I’m doing and get my blood pressure readings for the week. About the only thing on the list of what I need to change would be my diet in a big-time way. It’s not that I eat a lot of junk, meat or bad stuff, but I do like my weekly steak, my cheeses and my little tot of gin. We’ll see how all that goes once the phone calls begin later this month.

I do have to give all the doctors, nurses and technicians who took care of me during my stay a big high five. They were all exemplary, very kind and helpful and I highly recommend Kaiser’s Urgent Care and its staff.

So, let this serve as a lesson to you readers…be careful what you ask your doctor. And okay, I know it’s better safe than sorry; better to know than to be stupidly unaware, etc., etc., etc. Still, I had other plans for Monday and Tuesday that didn’t include a two-day long visit to Urgent Care.