When Stevie came bouncing on to her bed the next morning, Hannah had a very hard time being her usual upbeat self, but she pushed her worries aside and participated in a round of hugs, tickles and kisses until Stevie was laughed out and ready to have her get up for breakfast. They never went to the dining hall for breakfast, but had it their own kitchen in their pajamas before bathing and dressing.
This morning her son seemed
particularly hungry and wanted her to make him a “whole buncha bacon” as well
as some scrambled eggs and toast. Hannah managed to prepare everything even
though the bacon smell made her nauseous. She ate some scrambled eggs and a
piece of toast, reminding herself she’d be having lunch with Miz. Lionel and
that the woman usually prepared enough for a family of six.
Stevie brought her the dishes one-by-one
so Hannah could put them in the dishwasher. Then, she had a quick shower while
Stevie played in the adjacent bathtub. Wrapped in a towel, she scrubbed Stevie,
dried him and sent him off to choose what he was going to wear that day.
Usually, he made good choices, but sometimes, like this morning, when he
appeared in her bedroom, he was wearing a t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops. She
had to laugh. “Stevie, it’s November. You simply cannot run around in so few
clothes unless you plan to stay in the house all day. That’s fine if that is
what you want to do, but it means no trips to the barn, the dining hall or pony
rides.”
“Aw mom, it was so easy to get this
stuff on. I hate all those snaps and stuff. It’s haaaaaard,” Stevie whined.
“Well, come on and I’ll give you a
hand. I bet we can get you all dressed except for your boots in less than three
minutes.” Hannah looked at her watch, then at Stevie,” “Go!!!” she shouted.
Her son had already stripped down to
his underwear and was yanking on his lined jeans when she entered his room. Next came his padded flannel
shirt. All that was left was the snapping, buttoning and socks. When the alarm
on Hannah’s watch sounded, they were walking down the hall.
“We were really fast, huh, mom?” Stevie asked and Hannah agreed.
Boots, coats, hats and gloves on, they
headed to the barn to take care of Stevie’s pony and Hannah’s horse. Stevie was
getting quite good at taking care of his pony which he’d named Genghis. Hannah
had been reading a book to Stevie about Genghis Khan when the pony arrived. He
could barely pronounce the word, but was determined that would be the name. He’d
started out mispronouncing the name, but with a bit of practice got it right.
Hannah had a few more chores in the barn,
so she gave Stevie a curry brush and told him to gently brush Genghis until she
was done. Finished, they headed to the dining hall and the small office
adjacent the big kitchen. Staff knew they could find Hannah there after 9:00 am
if they had any questions or concerns. Having completed the third season with now
permanent staff, WFR Treks ran fairly smoothly so there usually weren’t many
staff waiting.
Stevie had his own little area with a
chalkboard, chalk, color crayons and books. If he became bored or whiney,
Hannah would let him to play on her I-pad, but didn’t allow that too often and
always tried to redirect his interest before handing off the screen which could
probably have held his interest for hours at a time. While Stevie was busy,
Hannah would review the various reports her senior staff provided, look over
the budget and the various plans she hoped to implement for the coming year.
They were both still occupied when
Dale stuck his head into the office and said, “Hannah, you’d best be getting
ready to head to Miz. Lionel’s, hadn’t you?”
She was amazed at how much time had
passed. Good thing she’d planned ahead when she dressed so she didn’t have to
do any preparation besides put on her coat and get in her truck. Giving Stevie
hugs and kisses and high fives for being such a great office partner, she left
him with Dale and headed out.
Hannah actually dreaded the upcoming
lunch. She loved Miz. Lionel and looked at her as a second grandmother. She
knew the woman would not only provide a great lunch, but some sound advice. The
only problem was, Hannah had a problem of which no one but she was aware. She
figured based on what Miz. Lionel advised, she’d have to confess and ask for
even more advice. Hannah was thoroughly disgusted with herself and how one
simple error that was barely memorable could have resulted in the situation in
which she found herself. She seriously believed Miz. Lionel might think her
exceedingly stupid and dismiss her from her life. It was with great trepidation
Hannah parked and walked up to Miz. Lionel’s kitchen door.
As always, the older woman was very happy
to see her, wrapping Hannah in arms that smelled of sugar and spice. Even as a
child, Hannah had been amazed at how wonderful Miz. Lionel had always smelled.
She breathed deep and hugged back carefully, making sure it wasn’t too hard and
she wasn’t hurting Miz. Lionel's old bones.
“I’m so happy to see you Hannah, dear.
Now hang up that coat and sit down. Lunch is ‘bout ready. All I have to do is
dish up and set it on the table. You want one of those Nespresso drinks you
like so much?”
Hannah did as bid and responded, “No
thanks. I think I’ve had my caffeine quota for the day. Just water, which you’ve
already put on the table is fine. And, my goodness, did you make that wonderful
cornbread recipe, the one with corn kernels and chiles in it?”
“Yes, I shorely did. I hadn’t had any
in a while and it’s too much to make just for myself. What we don’t eat, I’ll
send home with you. I know how much Stevie likes it too.”
They ate their lunch, gossiping about
the various town news topics. It was hard for Hannah to actually eat since her
tummy was in a big knot. When she finished her glass of water, she quietly
belched and said, “Now Miz. Lionel, I know my honorary grandfathers have been
to see you. They talked to me yesterday and I heard what they had to say. They
seemed to think you’d have an even better understanding to share with me, so
what do you have to say?”
Miz. Lionel got up and removed the
dishes from the table, placing a big plate of chocolate chip cookies between
her and Hannah. She sat back down and said, “Well, when the men came to see me,
the one thing they all agreed on is that Luke has changed, that he really loves
you and Stevie. They’re also convinced you love him as well, that it’s your
pride and a three-year old hurt that’s holdin’ you back.”
The older woman reached across the
table and patted Hannah’s hand. “Now, I’m gonna tell you a little story and
maybe it’ll help you see things more clearer. You know the history ‘tween your family
and mine, but what you or your mom never knew was the trouble Thomas and Gracie
had after your mom was born.”
Miz. Lionel sighed and looked out the
window as if she were gazing into the past. “Gracie had a real hard pregnancy
and the doctor just about lost her and your mom. After that the doc said there
could be no more kids. Gracie’s insides were simply too fragile for such a
thing. Now, Thomas loved Gracie more than anything, but he’d always wanted a
passel of kids to raise and take over the ranch. His disappointment caused a
real rift between him and Gracie.
“Thomas kind of went off the deep end.
He started fooling around with some of the town women, as if to see if he could
get someone else pregnant or somethin’. Like if they came up late, he’d kick
Gracie out and take one of them in.”
“Seriously, my Gramps did that?”
Hannah asked in disbelief.
“Yes, honey, Thomas was a real cad, a
real disappointment to me and my husband, a bunch of our friends, but
especially to Gracie. There she was with a newborn, barely able to get around
and do much and Thomas was being an absolute, pardon my French, an absolute
asshole.”
“But they always seemed so much in
love, so compatible, as if they’d never had a problem in the world.”
“Well, your grandma was a very smart
and forgiving woman plus she loved Thomas, had since we were all in grade school.
She took care of herself, your mamma and business until Thomas finally realized
what a jerk he was bein’. Course, my husband and a few of us had a come to
Jesus meetin’ with him too.”
“So, when he was ready to beg
forgiveness, apologize and return to bein’ the Thomas we all knew, Gracie
welcomed him back, not exactly with open arms, but over time, she came to know
just how sorry he was and managed to forgive him and carry on with life.
“I’m tellin’ you this cause I think
that’s where you need to go with Luke. I, or we, think you need to forgive the
boy, tell Stevie that Luke’s his daddy, that you love each other, and you’re
gonna be his mommy and daddy together. It’s really past time to let go of
what happened so long-ago Hannah honey. I know, we know your heart’s big enough
for that.”
Hannah looked across the table at Miz.
Lionel, the tears began to flow, and she put her head on her arms on the table
and sobbed as if her heart were breaking, as if Miz. Lionel had ruined her
entire world.
The older woman was aghast. She got up
as quickly as she could, moved a chair closer to Hannah, sat down and began to
pat her on the back. “It’s okay, honey, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to upset you like
this. I just wanted you to know it’s possible to forgive the worst life has to
offer and look ahead to the future. There, there, now, don’t be cryn’ like
this.”
Hannah continued to sob for a time,
then raised up and mopped her face with a napkin from the holder in the middle
of the table. She looked at Miz. Lionel once she’d blown her nose and composed
herself and said, “I’m more than ready to forgive Luke and move on, but there’s
just one problem and Luke may not be able to overlook or forgive it.”
“Hannan, honey, I’m sure nothing could
be that bad. Luke loves you and Stevie. He came back on purpose once he’d made
somethin’ of himself. All he wants is to be your husband and Stevie’s daddy.
Couldn’t be much I can think of that would change his mind.”
“Oh, you think so Miz. Lionel?” Hannan
responded as the tears began to fall again. “I’m pregnant. Do you think he can
overlook that?”