The last Saturday in October, Hannah buckled Stevie into his car seat and drove into town. They were going to visit Liam and Celia and Hannah needed to pick up supplies at the grocery and feed store. Celia had agreed to keep an eye on Stevie while Hannah did that. It was certainly easier to move about town on her own than to wrangle Stevie into and out of the stores and other places he thought would be more interesting than where Hannah wanted to go.
In the feed store, she went back to
the order desk to see about having chicken feed, pig pellets and some bags of
oats put in the back of her truck. While she was standing there, her back to
the rest of the store, she felt a hand on her shoulder which sent a frisson of
heat through her body and heard a very familiar voice, “Hannah?”
She froze in place and wanted to
simply sink through the floor or magically disappear so she wouldn’t have to
turn around and see him. Instead, she reminded herself she was a Wakefield,
shrugged off the hand and turned around.
“Luke.” She responded without a smile
or any trace of emotion on her face even though her heart was about to pound
out of her chest.
“Hannah, I was hoping to see you. I
was hoping we could have coffee and maybe talk. I’ve so much I want to say, so
much I want to explain. Please, it’s so important to me.”
Hannah stepped back until the counter
hit her in the back. “Well, Luke, I think everything was said at my gramps’
funeral. I don’t think there’s much of anything we need to talk about. You’ve
gone on with your life and I’ve gone on with mine. I’d say it was nice to see
you, but I don’t lie like some people I know.”
She turned back to the counter and
said, “Hal, my truck’s out back, so if you could get someone to put those bags
into the bed, I’d appreciate it. I’ve a couple of other errands to get done.
Thanks so much.”
Hannah turned around again,
deliberately stepped around Luke and walked slowly out of the feed store. Part
of her wanted to run back and throw herself into Luke’s arms, but she wasn’t
about to do that. With any luck at all, she thought, no one will tell him about
Stevie and I’m so glad he wasn’t with me. I don’t owe him any explanations.
Hopefully, he’s just moving through and will be gone tomorrow.
Luke stared after Hannah and wondered
what he could do to get her to sit down and listen to him. Jamison had really
done a great job in turning her completely away from him. He turned to Hal and
said, “Let me give you a hand with Hannah’s order.”
When Luke went out back, he was
surprised to find the truck indicated was a new one. Things must be looking up
out at the ranch he thought. Then, he saw the car seat in the back. It shocked
him and he instantly wondered if it was there because Hannah had had a baby or
if it was for some other kid. He thought back to all those afternoons at the
waterfall and the nights Hannah had crept into his bed. They’d not used any
protection at all. They’d been so in love, or so he thought, that it hadn’t
even occurred to him that he should have bought some condoms or asked if she
was on birth control pills.
The truck loaded with Hannah’s order
Luke glanced inside the cab at the car seat and the toys strewn across the truck seat.
He shrugged his shoulders and thought, sorry Hannah, but we’re definitely going
to have to have a conversation now. You’re going to have to listen to me and
then I’m going to listen to you, but we’re going to have a dialogue.
Luke returned to his own new truck,
one Hannah wouldn’t recognize and moved it so he could see her truck when she
returned. He had worked hard the last couple of years to better himself. He’d
followed the rodeo circuit, won far more than he’d lost and put everything he
could into a bank account. This summer was the last one he’d be doing that. He'd sold his trailer and his rodeo horses to an up-and-coming younger man for a
good price. Luke wasn’t the penniless down on his luck cowboy he’d been before.
Now, if he could just have a serious conversation with Hannah, he had something
to offer which he hoped she’d want, especially now, if she’d had a kid and it was his.
Luke didn’t have to wait long and he was very careful about
following her. If she headed out of town, then she was going home and he’d give
her time to get there before he showed up. Instead, she turned a corner off the
main road and Luke waited and watched as she drove down a couple of blocks and
stopped. After she got out of the truck and went into the house, he moved his
truck so he could still see hers.
It wasn’t too long before Hannah came
out the front door, carrying what looked to be a little boy. He was dressed
like a cowboy and waving and calling over her shoulder to the woman and child
standing in the doorway. Luke wished he were closer, wished the cowboy hat
would fly off, anything that would allow him to see the child and know whether
or not it was his. Hannah buckled the kid in, got in herself and headed toward
the ranch. Luke wanted to follow right behind her, but he thought he’d have
some lunch. Maybe the kid took a nap. He and Hannah needed to be alone for
their talk.
It was late afternoon by the time Luke turned in the driveway that led to Hannah’s house. He was astonished by what he
saw as he drove slowly down the road. The right pasture was now filled with
tiny houses and beautifully landscaped with flowers and trees and benches.
Further down was a much larger building with a swimming pool adjacent. The pasture on the left side was occupied by
way more horses than the ranch had supported in the past. The barn that fed
into that pasture had been renovated and enlarged. As he pulled into what had
been the parking area below the house, he found it had been enlarged and
asphalted to providing parking for many vehicles. The house itself still sat up
on the small rise, but, it too, had been renovated and gleamed a beautiful light
yellow in the sun.
Whoa, Luke thought, things have really changed and he wondered if Hannah still lived here or if, and he hadn’t thought of this, but maybe she was already married to someone. The idea Hannah had married someone else made the lunch he’d eaten turn into a brick in his stomach. He seriously hoped and prayed that wasn’t the case, but he’d soon find out.
Luke parked and got out of the truck. He began walking toward the
new and much wider steps with sturdy rails on either side when he heard
laughter coming from the direction of the barn. The little kid he’d seen came
barreling out of the barn with Hannah in hot pursuit. “Come back here you
little mite. I’m going to have to do something horrible to you when I catch up.”
The little boy looked back over his shoulder, laughed delightedly
and increased his speed. “You’ll never catch me. I’m the fastest in the land.”
Since he was looking back and not ahead, he ran right into Luke’s
legs. Luke had seen it coming, so he was prepared. He grabbed the boy to keep
him from falling and his cowboy hat fell off. Hannah’s huge eyes looked up at Luke.
The boy stopped laughing instantly and it was Hannah’s mouth Luke saw, but everything
else in the shocked face was Luke as he’d been when he was small.
“Who’re you?” the boy asked? “If you’re looking for a job, you’ll
have to talk to my mom.”
At that point, Hannah arrived and picked the boy up. “Stevie,
playtime is over. It’s time you go up to the house, wash up, have a snack and a
lay-down.”
“But….” Stevie began.
“No, no buts ands or ifs. It is way past time for a lay-down. If
you don’t go do that, there’ll be no pony exercise after dinner.”
Hannah put Stevie down and have his bottom a pat. “Git going,
right now.”
Rather than running as he’d been doing before, Stevie, shoulders
slumped, cowboy hat hanging down his back slowly toiled toward the house. The
way he took each step made it seem as though it were mountain-sized.
“Hannah, we need to talk. All I had to do was look at him and I
knew immediately he was my child. Why didn’t you say anything that day you
threw me off the ranch? I wouldn’t have left if I’d known. I’d have wanted to
be part of his life, of your life.”
“Look Luke, my Gramps had just died. I was leaning heavily on you
and then Jamison began to spew all that nasty stuff. At the time, I
thought I was going to throw up or faint. It hurt so much to think
you were just using me, to use Jamison’s word, fucking me so you could get
whatever he wanted, or whatever you wanted. I just wanted you gone, and I still
do. So, go on, get in your truck and get out of here.”
Hannah turned to walk away and Luke grabbed her arm and turned her
back so he could look into her eyes. “Look Hannah, I’m not going to just go
away and leave you and my child behind. I love you, both of you even though I
don’t know Stevie. I’m going to spend whatever time it takes to convince you
that I loved you when Stevie was conceived and that I love you now. I’ll leave
for now, but I’ll be back every single day until you are convinced I love you
and that you want me in your lives.”
Luke got into his truck and Hannah continued her walk to the
house. She was unbelievably grateful to find Stevie had already been put down
for his little nap. She stood in the window and watched as Luke drove slowly
down the ranch road to the highway. Her heart was beating so hard. All she’d
wanted to do was throw herself into Luke’s arms, allow herself to melt into his
body as she’d done before, but that simply wasn’t going to happen. He’d devastated
her once and she wasn’t going to allow him to do so again. Besides, she had too
much responsibility and work to make room for him in her life. He could come as
often as he liked, but she sure wasn’t going to roll out a welcome wagon.
It began the very next day. Luke showed up before lunch. He had a
huge bouquet of flowers for Hannah and a book about horses for Stevie. At the time,
Hannah was busy in the barn while also trying to keep an eye on her boy.
Hannah took off her gloves, sniffed the flowers and said, “Thank
you. These are lovely and smell wonderful. Why don’t you take them to the dining
room. I’m sure Dale or someone there can use them for the tables.”
Luke turned to Stevie and held out a book. “How about you show me
to the dining room? Maybe we could have something to drink and I could read
some of this book to you. Would you like that?”
Hannah could see Stevie was torn by the idea. He knew he wasn’t
supposed to talk to strangers or go with anyone if his mom or one of the staff
wasn’t present, especially since the ranch had so many strangers as guests.
Stevie’s look at Hannah implored her to say yes.
“Stevie, this is a friend from before you were born. His name is
Luke and he used to help my Gramps with ranch work. If you’d like to go with
him, it’s okay.”
Before Luke could do anything, the book was yanked out of his
hands and Stevie was pulling him toward the barn door. “Come on, before mom
changes her mind. This looks like a cool book. I like horses. Do you like
horses? Can you ride a horse? I have a pony and I can almost ride him all by
myself now. Do you have a horse?”
As Luke followed after Stevie, he looked over his shoulder and
mouthed, “Thank you.” Hannah watched them leave the barn and the sound of
Stevie’s voice fade away. As it turned out, when Hannah went to have lunch, Luke
and Stevie were sitting at the same table eating their own lunch. Luke was
turning pages in the book and it looked as though they were having a serious
conversation about whatever was on the pages. Hannah wasn’t going to bother
them, but as if he had some sort of radar, Luke looked up and gestured for
Hannah to join them. She really didn’t want to, but was afraid it would look
rude or funny if she didn’t.
Hannah filled her plate from the various dishes in the buffet. Breakfast
and lunch were always served buffet style, while dinner was served after the
guests ordered from the chalkboard menu. When Hannah approached the table, Luke
stood and pulled out a chair for her. She sat down and Luke resumed his place. “Wow,
mom, Luke’s a gentleman. Mom’s trying to teach me to be polite. She wants me to
grow up to be a gentleman. You must be one of those good examples she talks
about all the time.”
“Well, Stevie, I wouldn’t exactly agree with what you just said,
but I think it is nice if a man holds a chair for a woman. I’m not even sure
your mom would say I’m any kind of a good example.”
Hannah didn’t know what to say to this dialogue between her son
and Luke so she kind of equivoquated. “Stevie, Luke was a very nice man back
when he worked for Gramps. I don’t know if he’s still a nice man, but it looks
like he might be.”
“And mom, I love, love, love this horsey book. Did you know there
are all kinds of horses. Every time Luke turns a page, I think that’s the horse
I want some day. Do I have to only have just one horse?”
“You can only ride one at a time, Stevie, so we’ll have to wait
and see what you like best when the time comes.” Hannah replied, flicked a look
at Luke, lowered her eyes and began to eat her lunch. She didn’t try to enter
the conversation the two were having, but she found the way Luke was treating
Stevie endearing and his patience couldn’t be faulted.
When Hannah had finished her lunch, she turned to Stevie and said,
“Yesterday, nap time was very late and you were Mr. Crabbypants at dinner and
afterwards, so today, you have to take your nap on time.”
“Moooooom,” Stevie whined, “I’m not tired, and Luke and I aren’t
finished with the book. I don’t want to nap.” His eyes glistened with tears and
before Hannah could say anything, Luke ruffled Stevie’s hair and responded, “How
about I go with you to your room. After you’re all ready for your nap, we can
look at a few more pages. How does that sound.”
Immediately, Stevie rubbed the tears away and turned to Hannah, “Mom,
could we do that? Please, please, please. I promise I’ll be real good. I’ll
even brush my teeth without being told.”
Hannah had to laugh at the face Stevie was making. It was his I’ll
do anything you want me to if you’ll only agree face. “Sure, I’ve plenty of
chores to see to, so if your new friend wants to help you get your nap, that’s
fine with me.” She looked at both of them sternly and finished by saying, “But,
there’s no funny business, no jumping and leaping on the bed, no being the
least bit naughty. Luke will read to you for a bit and that’s it. Okay?”
The two went off together, Stevie holding the book in one hand and
Luke’s hand with the other. Stevie tried to match his smaller steps to Luke’s
bigger steps until Luke minimized his walk. Hannah looked at the two of them
and wanted to put her head on the table and cry. It would have been so
wonderful to have had Luke in their lives from the beginning. She shook her
head, got up and headed off to the barn.
That was where Luke found her about half an hour later. “That’s
some kid you’re raising there. His vocabulary is amazing, or maybe it’s normal
since I don’t know a thing about kids.” Luke interrupted her as she took care
of some of the tack. “I really hope you’ll let me be a part of his life. Can I
help you with anything?”
“No thanks, Luke,” Hannah responded. Just keeping Stevie busy for
such a long time was a huge help. I always worry he’s going to disappear when I
blink and end up hurt or in trouble. I appreciate you giving him so much of
your time.”
“Well, if there’s nothing I can do to help out, I’ll head on back
to town. If Stevie askes about me, tell him I’ll be back tomorrow, and I will
be. I’m not going to disappear Hannah, no matter how much you may wish I would.
I’ll keep coming back day after day until you can learn to trust me, to believe
me.”
Luke reached out and gave her braid a little tug. “I can’t wait to
see your hair cascading around your body. I’ve dreamed of that so many nights.
I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Hannah stood there as Luke went out the barn door. Her entire body
had responded to the braid tug and Luke’s words. She felt as though every
single cell from the tips of her toes to the ends of her hair was electrified.
Her heart rate had jumped up and her panties were feeling a trifle damp. She wanted
to run after Luke, toss him to the ground and ride his cock until every single
cell exploded. She hadn’t had a man since the last time with Luke. Her body
hadn’t forgotten how it was with them. Her body wanted, desired; and if she
wasn’t careful, would be demanding the kind of satisfaction she’d only ever had
with Luke.
Hannah shook her head, told herself to quite thinking about such
stupid things, especially things that were never going to happen. Luke was
welcome to spend time with Stevie, and perhaps they would tell Stevie that Luke
was his daddy, but she wasn’t going to ever be part of the bargain, no matter
what.