Hannah couldn’t believe the hospital staff didn’t wheel her right
into the delivery room. She had been so frightened by the strength and
frequency of the labor pains; she’d been sure she’d have it before she got to
the hospital. After she was examined, Hannah was told she’d only dilated to a
six, so she had a bit to go yet. The exam was barely over when Luke came into
the room. His eyes were huge and he looked scared to death.
“What’s happening?” he asked, moving to her bedside and taking her
hand.
“Nothing for the moment.” Hannah responded.
“I thought you were about to have this baby in the truck. What happened?”
Luke whispered.
“You don’t have to whisper Luke, and this is sort of the way it
works. I seriously thought the contractions were coming so frequently and so
hard that my body was ready to push…oh God, here comes another one.”
Luke did his part, looking at his watch to time the contraction
while Hannah squeezed his hand so hard, he was sure he’d have more than a
single broken bone. When it was over, Hannah relaxed against the pillow and let
go of Luke’s hand. “Could I have a cold washcloth. I’m so hot and sweaty. I
hope this doesn’t go on for hours.”
“Hours, this could last for hours?” Luke questioned, running cold
water in the sink. He came back and put the wet cloth on her forehead. Hannah took
it and wiped her face and neck.
“Yes, it could go on for a while. If you want to call Joe and see
if he can come, that’s fine. And, could you make this cold again, please.”
Luke took the not warm cloth and moved to the sink, saying over
his shoulder, “I’m not calling Joe. I’m staying. I’m staying for however long
this takes. I want to be here with you. I want to support you.”
Together, they worked through the next couple of hours. As the
contractions came closer and closer, Luke couldn’t believe the pain Hannah seemed
to be experiencing. He did everything he’d learned to do in the birthing
classes, but it wasn’t the same at all. The classes had been informative, but
they didn’t spike his heart rate, they didn’t make him anxious and they certainly
hadn’t made him feel as helpless as he felt. And, the anxiety and helplessness
only seemed to increase the more time went by.
Hannah had done this once already, so she had some experience.
Still, she turned into a different person than he’d ever known before. She panted
and beathed like a bellows. She sweated,
her face becoming as red as a freshly shined apple. Her braid also became
sweaty. More than once, Hannah used
language he’d never heard her use in all the time he’d spent with her. After
one particularly hard contraction, which made her squeal as though she wanted
to scream the building down, she cursed yet again and stated she was never ever
going to do this again, no matter what.
It wasn’t long after that, she was checked again and within two
more contractions, during which Hannah wanted to push so badly, she let go of
Luke’s hand and grasped the bed rails.
“Hold her down Luke,” the nurse admonished. “Hold her shoulders
down. She can’t push until the doc gets here.” Then she told Hannah, “Not long
now honey.” To which Hannah muttered through clenched teeth, “Fuck you!!!”
The doctor came into the room pulling on his gloves. “I gather you’re
ready to have this baby, hmmm, Hannah.”
“More than ready. Oh God, it’s coming. I have to push.”
The doctor positioned himself between Hannah’s spread thighs and
Luke moved into position behind her. Hannah sat up and Luke braced her back as
the doctor ordered, “Okay, now push Hannah, push hard.”
It felt to Luke as though Hannah became one entire huge muscle.
Her entire body seemed to clench as she pushed and screamed with the effort.
“Okay, Hannah, relax for just a minute. The next one will do it.”
Again, Hannah leaned forward and Luke braced her. Once again, she
seemed to become one huge muscle as she bore down with all her might. Luke
thought her scream could have been heard back at the ranch. His ears rang.
Hannah slumped back and Luke moved to her side.
“Well, lookee here, you’ve got yourself a little girl.” The doctor
said as he held up what couldn’t possibly have been a human child. She was all
wrinkly, covered with bluish or reddish stuff and resembled nothing so much as
a little piglet. He cleaned the baby’s nose and mouth and laid it on Hannah’s
tummy. He looked at Luke and asked, “Do you want to cut the cord.”
“Can I, may I,” Luke asked, looking at Hannah.
“Go ahead Luke,” she responded with a huge smile.
The umbilical cord taken care of, one of the nurses wrapped the little
girl tightly in a blanket and handed her to Luke. He had practiced with a doll
at the classes, so he knew how to take her, but he’d had no idea what it would
feel like to actually hold a warm, newly birthed child. As he held her, she
opened her eyes and gazed directly into his.
He knew she really couldn’t see anything just yet, and still, it seemed
as though she looked directly into his soul, into his brain, maybe into his heart. Then, although
Luke also knew they could not smile at birth, her lips curved upward. It was as
if she was saying, “Here I am. You are falling in love with me this instant.”
Luke realized Hannah was talking to him. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Hand her here. I want to nurse her a bit before they take her
away to clean her up.” Luke handed her over and watched as Hannah helped the
little rosebud of a mouth find her distended nipple. Hannah flinched as the
baby latched on and began to suck hard.
“Did that hurt?” Luke asked. “You looked like that hurt. Is it supposed
to hurt?”
Hannah smiled beatifically and smoothed the baby’s cheek. “Yes, it
does hurt when they initially latch on, but it’s a sweet pain, not one that
makes me miserable. Oh, look at her. She’s adorable.”
They moved Hannah into a room while Luke accompanied the baby and neonatal
staff. He watched closely as she was cleaned up, weighed and measured and
tested. When they were all done with her, they swaddled her tightly, put a
little hat on her head and told Luke to take her to her mom.
Once again, the baby looked up at him as though she already knew
who he was. Then, she closed her eyes and tried rooting around his chest. “Sorry
babe, but I don’t have the equipment you need.” Luke told her.
In Hannah’s room, Luke handed her the baby and said, “The women in
the nursery said I should tell you she passed all the tests with flying colors.
She weighs seven pounds, twelve ounces and is 21 inches long. And, I think she’s
hungry because she kept trying to get at my boob while I was walking here.”
Hannah, too, had been cleaned up some. She lowered her hospital
gown and gave the baby the nipple she hadn’t yet nursed from. “What a good
little eater you are,” Hannah told the baby. “Yes, you are.”
Luke watched as Hannah’s eyes
fluttered closed. She had to be tired from giving birth, so he didn’t try to talk
to her about anything. When the baby’s mouth left the nipple, Luke stood and
gently pulled the sheet up over the two of them. Then, he just sat and watched
as they both slept. Sitting there, alone with his thoughts, he couldn’t believe
how full his heart felt. He hadn’t expected to feel this way. She wasn’t his
child, but somehow in those few moments, he believed they had bonded. Maybe it
was being part of the process, being at the birth, Luke didn’t know. All he
knew was that the little baby girl’s first look and smile had been just for
him, as though she knew she had to win him over at the get go. And, Luke had to
admit, he was pretty sure she had. Time would tell though.
Eventually, the doctor came by to check on Hannah. “I’m going to
keep you overnight this time. I know I let you go home right away with Stevie,
but you lost some blood and I want to make sure your uterus is contracting the
way it’s supposed to. Having the baby nurse will help, so I’m glad
to see that’s going well. If you have a good night, you and the babe can go
home first thing.”
Soon after, they brought Hannah’s dinner and Luke held the
sleeping child while Hannah ate. Finished, she asked for another pitcher of
water. “Have to drink a lot to make milk.” She said, adding, “Why don’t you go
pick Stevie up and bring him back for a couple of minutes, then the two of you
can go on back home.”
Luke told Celia and her family and Stevie that it was a baby girl.
“Shoot, I wanted a brother.” Stevie frowned and folded his arms across his
chest.
Amid calls of congratulations and we’ll be out to see them soon,
Luke fastened Stevie in his car seat. “I really wanted a brother.” Stevie said
again, angrily.
Luke finished with the fasteners, but didn’t move away. He looked
at Stevie very seriously and said, “Well, pardner, girls can be pretty amazing.
Your mom’s a girl you know. Guess that means you don’t want to go see this baby
sister and your mom, huh? Guess we’ll just go on home.” Luke acted as if he was
going to close the truck door.
“No,” Stevie yelled, “I want to see them. I want my mom.” Luke could
tell the boy was on the verge of tears.
“Hey, Stevie, of course we’re going to go see them. You mom asked
me special to bring you even though you’re not supposed to be in the hospital.
So, you have to be really quiet so we can sneak you in. Okay?
Think you can do that?”
Stevie nodded his head and Luke closed the door. When he climbed
into the driver’s seat, he could see the boy had his thumb in his mouth. He
didn’t do that very often any more, but he had to be scared about this new
development in his life.
At this hospital, Luke
scooped Stevie up into his arms and reminded him they had to be very quiet.
Stevie hid his face in Luke’s shirt as though if the staff couldn’t see his
face, they wouldn’t know he was there. When they reached Hannah’s room, Luke put
Stevie down and stood back while the boy approached the bed.
“There’s my best boy.” Hannah said, holding out her free arm. “Why
don’t you come on this side and climb up here by me. I need a hug and a kiss
really really really bad. I worked extremely hard today.”
Stevie cautiously climbed up on the bed and let his mom hug him.
He put his arms around her neck and gave her some kisses. “Oh, I feel so much
better now Stevie. Thank you. Would you like to meet your little sister?”
Stevie nodded his head. “Maybe you could give me a hand with this Luke? I don’t want to stop hugging my boy, but I can’t unwrap our girl with only one hand.”
Luke went to the opposite side
of the bed and lifted the baby out of Hannah’s arms. “You want me to unwrap her?”
“Yes, Stevie needs to see all of his baby sister.”
Luke laid the tightly bundled baby back on the bed and carefully pulled
the blanket away. “Look Stevie,” he said, “Look at her little fingers and toes.
Aren’t they amazing? You once had fingers and toes just like this. Here give me
your hand. Look how much bigger your hand is now. You’re going to be such a
terrific brother; I just know it.”
Luke looked up to see Hannah’s eyes full of tears. “Hormones,” she
whispered, “just hormones.”
It was then the baby woke up. She squeaked for a minute, then
moved her head around as if searching for something, probably a nipple. Luke
picked her up and held her in such a way she could see her brother’s face. “This
here’s the best brother and friend you’re ever going to have little miss.”
Hannah and Luke both watched as Stevie looked at his new sister
and it seemed as though his sister was looking at her brother. For a bit, they
seemed to stare into each other’s eyes, then she yawned and turned away.
“Mom,” Stevie kinda whispered, “I think she likes me. I love her.
Can we go home now?”
“Honey, mommy has to stay in the hospital overnight, but you and
Luke or Joe can come get me and the baby first thing in the morning.”
Stevie was very tired and becoming cranky, “I don’t want to go
home without you. I’ll stay here. I’ll sleep right here with you all night.”
“What about me pardner?” Luke asked. “Am I going to have to drive
all the way to the ranch by myself? Am I going to have to eat dinner all by
myself? I know there’s lots of other people back home, but it’s sure gonna be
lonely without you and your mom. So, how about it? I’ll even let you sleep in
my room if you want.”
Luke’s offer cured the crankiness and the tears for the moment.
With hugs and kisses and lots of reassurance from his mom, Stevie allowed Luke
to pick him up. At the door, Luke turned back, “We’ll be back here first thing,
won’t we Stevie. We promise.”
Together they headed for the truck and home.