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It’s the fifth day of the new year and I’m feeling forlorn. This feeling won’t last because I won’t allow it to, but meanwhile, I do, I feel forlorn.
It’s hard being a widow, being alone day after day with no other human to share events, experiences and even just the daily minutia. It’s lonely and the weekly check-ins and visits by family members and friends does little to assuage being alone on a daily basis. My various activities do keep me busy, but at the end of the activity, I’m still coming home to a house whose emptiness is barely mitigated by my faithful companion, Kuma.
Sitting here typing this doesn’t actually make me feel a lot better, but I’ve put my feelings into words. Now, it’s time to get up and get busy with today’s project. Keeping busy does keep feeling forlorn in the background, plus once I’ve completed my task, feeling forlorn will be replaced by the feelings of pride and completion.