SUNDAY...SUNDAY....

          

 It’s Superbowl Sunday and I’m here alone except for my puppy, Kuma. This is perfectly fine and I’m not feeling lonely or depressed, but it has made me reflect on how things have become during my eighty years of life.

          First, there was no Superbowl back when I was a kid. Sundays were family time and if we didn’t eat together as a family at home, we went to grandparents or other family members’ homes for Sunday dinner. It was also Sunday school day and I went regularly, wearing a nice dress and shoes…no jeans or other inappropriate clothing allowed.

          Once I grew up and got married, this didn’t change very much. True, my parents had moved from Seattle, but the expectation was that my husband and I would travel to my parents’ home at least one weekend of the month. When my parents returned to the area, Sunday dinners were no longer the rigorous expectation of the past. Part of that may have been due to the fact John and I had separated.

          In any case, I still saw my parents at least once a week if not more often. They thought nothing of just stopping by my house any day of the week for a visit. And I was welcome to arrive at their place in the same manner. No need to call first. No need to make an appointment to see each other…it just happened.

          Not only were these impromptu visits the norm, but there were also the phone calls. I probably talked to my mother almost every day and my grandmother at least once a week unless my folks were gone and then it was my responsibility to talk to Grandma daily and make sure she was okay. We didn’t have Sunday dinners as had been the habit of years prior, but we did see each other fairly often for coffee and/or meals.

          I don’t know quite when everything changed so very much. It was probably when I/we became so busy with jobs, rearing children, participating in school and sports activities as parents were required to do, but the visits and phone calls began to become less and less over the years. At the time, I didn’t think all that much about it, but my life was busy and the idea of being alone and lonely hadn’t even put in an appearance.

          These days, or make that these years, times have definitely changed from what they were when I was a kid or young adult. I know that this isn’t necessarily true for some of my friends/acquaintances who are in regular contact with their entire families. I’m not sure what I could have done or could do differently to have a family more like those.

          As it is, I send my son an emoji each morning so he knows I survived the day before and the night. He emojis me back. Then, we talk at least once a week, but the phone calls, for the most part, are rather like two strangers talking to each other. There are times when he has information he shares and vice versa, but for the most part, I don’t know how his week(s) went, how his wife is doing and he doesn’t know a lot about how my week(s) developed.

          There have been no conversations with his younger brother since December. I haven’t seen those grandchildren since October or before.

          There are no Sunday dinners or special get-togethers for things like the Superbowl. True, I could issue invitations to my home with the expectation everyone would attend; however, only one son and his family came to my eightieth birthday party last November. It’s not likely an invitation for Sunday dinners, especially on a regular basis, would be welcome.

          Hopefully, as you read this you don’t think I’m depressed or terribly lonely because, for the most part I’m not. I’m doing okay. It’s just the fact that the life I led, that my family led, so many decades ago was so different from my life now. It makes me wonder what the lives of my grandchildren will be like in fifty or sixty years. Will their lives be completely insular? Will they look back as I have at their own youth and think/believe the times were better then?

          Unfortunately, I don’t have a crystal ball with which to view the future. I can only hope that the times change and families return to the wonderful habit of Sunday dinners and more time spent together.

CHAPTER 4

 CHAPTER 4

Wednesday morning, Maddie made sure she was up and at work well before the required start time of 8:00 am. She even managed to beat Sharon, but not Mr. Lomax. He was already in his office, jacket off, shirt sleeves rolled up and a big mess of paper on his desk. Both computer monitors were full of numbers and information. It was obvious he’d been busy for quite some time.

Maddie took a deep breath as he looked up when she entered his office. “Good morning Mr. Lomax. Is there anything I can get you or do for you at the moment.”

He leaned back in his chair and with one eyebrow raised, said, “You can call me Spence or Spencer just like all the other staff. How have your first two days been?”

“Sharon has been very instructive and I’ve learned a lot about the company, you and other staff members. It’s been quite enjoyable.”

“Yes, I’ve heard through the staff grapevine….”

At those words, Maddie cringed and waited for him to tell her she was fired immediately because of the decisions she’d made on his behalf the day before. She clenched all her muscles and could barely keep the surprise off her face when she heard him continue.

“…that you bring your own lunch and have been having lunch with the other staff members. Everyone who has said anything to me about you has been positive and supportive. I think you’ve managed to win my staff over in just those two days.”

“Thank you Mr. Lomax, I mean Spencer. I’ve always believed you are only as strong or successful as those with whom you work. I enjoyed getting to know the staff who eat in the lunchroom. I also liked finding out that your employees speak well of and admire you.”

“Go ahead and sit down.” Spencer responded. “There is one other matter we need to discuss before we get on with the day. I understand Mr. Kennedy came to see me yesterday, extremely upset. You managed to turn the problem into a success even though you used my name in absentia to do so. Apparently, you can speak with great authority when needed.”

“Yes, well, you see….”

Spencer brought his hands together and clapped several times. “Allow me to tell you just how impressed I was that you took the time and made the effort to take care of Ken and his company. Dave Fielding called me at home last night, positive he’d probably made the wrong decision to send those 100,000 units to Ken’s company. I assured him it was the decision I would have made had I been here or reachable for a decision. I had to keep myself from laughing when Dave told me about the no-nonsense voice you’d used while being very polite. He also said he was really glad he’d followed through with your order.” The word “order” was highlighted by Spencer using his fingers to make air quotation marks as his face lit up with a smile and his chest moved with his chuckles.

Maddie wasn’t quite sure what to say, so with a small smile, she responded, “Thank you Spencer. While I hadn’t been here very long, everything I’d seen in my research about your company, the comments made by staff, just everything made me know that if you promised Ken those parts, that you would have made sure he got them. I believe you’re trying to build a company about which your descendants will be able to say, as Ken did, my great-great-great grandfather started The Lorax Company. I’m very grateful I wasn’t wrong.”

“No, Maddie, if I may call you that as all the staff seem to be doing, your intuition was right on and I’m grateful you were able to help Ken. He left a rather long voice mail for me filled with compliments and admiration for the way you’d stepped up to take care of him since everyone else he’d dealt with hadn’t even bothered to try to check with me. I have made the decision to offer you the position, provided you’re still interested?” Spencer asked with one raised eyebrow.

“Oh, thank you Mr. Lo…I mean Spence. I certainly am interested and accept with pleasure. I look forward to working for Lomax Enterprises for a long time to come.”

It was at that moment Sharon opened the door and stepped inside, her frowny face breaking into a warm smile when she saw Spence behind his desk. She barely glanced at Maddie.

“Morning, Sharon. Come on in and sit down. I’ve a couple of items I want to discuss.” Spencer said.

Sharon responded with her own good morning and took the chair adjacent Maddie.

“First, thank you Sharon for being so welcoming to Maddie and for training her to take over your position. I have offered Maddie the job, so, unless there’s additional training required, Friday will be your last day.”

From the corner of her eye, Maddie saw Sharon’s smile fade and her jaw clench.

“Secondly, tomorrow I want you to take Maddie to Nordstrom and make arrangements for her to utilize the account you’ve used in the past. I’d also like you to assist her in choosing the proper attire for the charity event on my calendar this Saturday night. And, finally, unless either of you object, we’ll leave early Friday afternoon and I’ll take the two of you to dinner so we can celebrate your years of service Sharon and to welcome Maddie aboard. Any questions?”

“Perhaps Maddie isn’t free Saturday night or have you already invited her to attend with you?” Sharon eyes were ice-cold as they looked at Maddie and Maddie could almost feel the woman urging her to be busy.

“No, as a matter of fact, I am free Saturday.” Maddie responded, “However, I’ll need a bit of information so I can be prepared, but I’m sure Sharon will provide all I need to know. As for shopping at Nordstrom tomorrow, I really don’t think that’s necessary. I have perfectly suitable clothing for any occasion.”

Spencer offered Maddie a slight smile. “Because of my company, my presence at a wide variety of social occasions is required. Since I began having to attend, whoever is my EA has accompanied me since I’m not married, nor do I have a significant other who would meet the plus one requirement. The company pays for my tuxes and has paid for whatever suitable clothing the event requires. Sharon will assist you with all this tomorrow.”

Sharon was then excused and Spencer gave Maddie his instructions for the day. When she left his office, Sharon’s personal items, not that there had been many, had been removed from the desk and she was ensconced in the side chair.

“Since the job is now yours, I went ahead and moved myself. Is there anything I can do to help you today, aside from completing the review of the company’s customers?” Sharon inquired through clenched teeth.

“If you wouldn’t mind going over the instructions Spence has provided. I would appreciate that very much. I don’t want to get anything wrong.”

“Like that’s going to happen.” Sharon muttered, almost too low for Maddie to hear.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Nothing. Sorry. What’s on Spence’s list today?”

Wednesday morning progressed at lightning speed. Maddie was kept busy taking care of numerous things, some of which might have been a bit difficult if Sharon hadn’t been at hand to assist. As always, Sharon left at lunch and Maddie went to the staff dining room.

“Afternoon everyone.” Maddie said as she entered, and then couldn’t keep herself from doing a little celebratory dance before taking her chair. “I’m so excited. Spence hired me retroactive to Monday. I’m now really one of you and can’t tell you how much I appreciate whatever comments you made to the boss. He told me he’d heard nothing but good remarks about me. I really really wanted this job, so thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Her fellow staff members clapped and congratulated Maddie. They seemed to be as pleased about the decision as she was.

During a lull in the afternoon, Maddie decided to take the bull, or Sharon, by the horns. “Sharon, I’d love to buy you a drink and even dinner at your choice of restaurant. While I’m happy to be here, I know you aren’t exactly happy about leaving. I’d feel so much better if you’d please have dinner with me.”

Sharon stared at Maddie for a few heartbeats before she nodded and responded, “I’ll make a reservation at the Salty Dog, unless that’s too far to go after work or it’s too expensive?”

“Great!” was Maddie’s response, even though that restaurant would be almost an hour from work and was extremely expensive.

Sharon didn’t suggest they carpool from work, and since Maddie rode the bus, she called Uber for a ride. Sharon was already there, seated at a window table with what looked like a Cosmo in front of her when Maddie arrived and was seated.

When the waiter arrived, Maddie said, “I’d like a Scotch, Macallan Estate, if you have it. If not, any Macallan will do, and we’ll order after a bit.” She glanced at Sharon’s drink and added, “My dinner partner will have another of those as well please. Thank you.”

The waiter responded to Maddie’s smile with his own smile and a “Yes, mam, be right back.”

The two women made small talk about the view and the restaurant while they waited for their drinks. Sharon emptied her glass just before the waiter returned.

Drinks in front of them, Maddie picked hers up and said, “I’d like to propose a toast. Here’s to you Sharon, for being the kind of EA I hope become. So many of the little things you’ve shown me that makes the boss’ life easier, I probably would not have thought of for a very long time. Thank you for sharing those and please accept my most sincere wishes for a great future.”

Maddie clinked her glass against the one in Sharon’s hand and took a sip. “Oh Lord, but I really needed this. I rarely drink, but even if I’d just gone home this evening, I would undoubtedly poured myself a dollop of this stuff. I’m so pleased you chose to join me.”

By the time Sharon’s third drink had arrived, Maddie knew she was 35 years old, married and divorced, had worked at Lomax for eight years. When they ordered dinner, Sharon, as Maddie had known she would, ordered the most expensive item on the menu which was the scallops. Maddie ordered a seafood dish as well and a bottle of wine that would celebrate both entrees.

By the time the wine bottle was empty, Sharon was well into her cups, her inhibitions gone and Maddie figured it was time to hear the truth about why she was leaving Lomax. “So, Sharon, I know you loved your job, and hate to leave, so why are you leaving?”

Sharon looked across the table at Maddie and tears filled her eyes. “I’m leaving because I was stupid. And, let this be a lesson to you if you want to keep the job.” She rummaged in her handbag for a tissue, but Maddie was ready and passed a Kleenex across the table.

Once Sharon had blotted the few tears that had escaped and blown her nose, Maddie asked, “What happened?”

After a deep breath, Sharon responded, “I was attracted to Spence from the git-go, but he never ever gave me any indication it was mutual. At the last major charity event I attended with him, I had a little too much to drink, like tonight, and felt courageous enough to make a play for him in the back of the limo when he was taking me home.”

Sharon’s hand went to her mouth and she shook her head in either denial or disbelief at her own stupidity. While Maddie looked at her sympathetically, Sharon continued, “On Monday when I went in to the office, Spence sat me down and told me that while he wasn’t firing me, he was going to let me go as soon as he found a replacement. No amount of apologizing, promising it would never happen again, nothing would sway him. He told me he was too uncomfortable around me now to continue to work with me.”

“Oh Sharon, I’m so sorry. It seems like he could overlook one small lapse in judgement, especially when you’d had one too many.”

“Yes, well, perhaps he would have except my play for him was more like my doing everything except pulling my panties off, his cock out and mounting him. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable.”

“Well, I am truly sorry Sharon, and I hope you believe that even though I’m taking your place.”

“Yeah, well, just keep in mind that no matter how you might feel, don’t act on it. You know how some women are referred to as frigid; well, I think Spence might be the male equivalent. As far as I know, he’s never had a girlfriend in all the time I’ve worked for him. It’s all business 24/7, or it certainly seems that way.”

“Thanks for the advice.” Maddie responded, thinking of the way she felt when Spence clasped her hand. “I do appreciate it. Now, I’m calling an Uber to take us both home. I’m not going to let you drive after all the alcohol. And, thanks again for having dinner with me.”

Over Sharon’s protests, Maddie ushered her into the Uber car and during the drive made arrangements for the driver to pick Sharon up the following day to retrieve her car. Once she’d seen Sharon into her apartment building and on her own way home, Maddie relaxed against the seat, thought about what Sharon had told her and wondered if the zap she received each time Spence took her hand had been her imagination. Even if it hadn’t and she wanted to keep the job, and she definitely did, there was no way she’d ever allow that zap to become all-encompassing for either herself or Spence.

THREE SUNNY WARM DAYS

          

 My yard waste can is full to the brim and so heavy I can barely move it. This past week, my area had terrific weather for three days and I spent a good two hours or more each day working in the front yard. Today, (Saturday) as I write this, the rain has returned and my body is so very thankful for the much-needed respite.

          Last year, I didn’t do a single thing in the front yard aside from having the lawn mowed and edged. I had high hopes of getting way more done those three days than I actually accomplished, but I can only do what I can do. The Mexican wind grass has all been cut back, weeds have been pulled and the million dead daisy stalks cut back. Now, that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it required bending…and bending…and bending. My back isn’t happy today and neither are some of my leg muscles.

          There was one more huge bag of soil amendment to be spread, but I decided to wait until the next good weather window. This is because the big bed under the Christmas tree has been invaded by long grass. I’ve purchased a new product, Spruce, that’s supposed to be deadly only to the weeds upon which it’s sprayed. So, the last thing I did was to spray Spruce. I’ll see how it works and hope it does its job because pulling that grass out is very difficult.

          I also plan to load Spruce into my big sprayer and spray the south side of the house. It’s become one big green mat of weeds. Since I’ve been here for fifty-five years, I’ve weeded this area time and again. Somehow the weeds return again and again…not always the same kind, but weeds nonetheless. I could just leave it because I don’t have to look at that part of the yard, but I feel like I should be a good neighbor and give my best neighbors something to look at besides weeds.

          All in all, I’m pretty pleased with myself because I kept to my schedule and accomplished a lot…not as much as I wanted, but a lot. There will be more sunny days and opportunities for me to continue this hard work providing my body and hands remain in good enough shape to proceed.

SUPERBOWL, FOLLOWED BY....

             

 Well, here we are, one day away from the Superbowl. Since John died, I haven’t paid a lot of attention to football…or any sport, really. Tomorrow will be a big day with the Seattle Seahawks playing the Patriots for the big win.

          I plan to watch the game and have my snacks and booze all ready for ingestion during the game. I’m going to drink Maker’s Mark bourbon and eat brie that’s been baked inside puff pastry. So, the most important part of this great day has been determined and will be executed flawlessly…not to mention the ingestion of these wondrous foods and drink.

          The event will happen right here in my own living room. I haven’t been invited to share in any other celebrations of this event, but that’s perfectly fine with me. I much prefer to watch the game unfold by myself…although I’ll have John’s orb lit up so he can watch too…as well as imbibe my own booze and inhale my own treats.

          As I write this, it’s entirely possible I may receive an invitation or two to go elsewhere to watch this wondrous game, but even if that happens, I plan to say, “Thank you, but no thank you.” This isn’t because I’m feeling antisocial or anything like that; it’s merely because I’d rather do this all by myself…with John in his orb, of course.

          Two years ago, the gin hit just a bit harder than expected and I fell asleep…okay, passed out…before the game ended. I don’t even remember who was playing, but it wasn’t until the next day…Monday…that I found out who won. I don’t know if that will happen tomorrow, but if it does, that’s perfectly okay too because the only observer will be Kuma and he doesn’t have a clue anyway. Unless, of course, I put the Puppy Bowl on and then Kuma will be barking and jumping around the living room as though he expects to participate with all those puppies.

          Anyway, as I said in the beginning, the next big event, i.e., the Superbowl, is tomorrow. After that, it’s Valentine’s Day, followed by Presidents’ Day and then we’re on to St. Patrick’s Day. It’s amazing how time just flows along, highlighted by one event after another. Before we/I know it, it will be July 4^th and time to celebrate the founding of our country two-hundred and fifty years ago.

          I’m sorry, but I’m getting months ahead of myself. For now, I’ll just look forward to the Seattle Seahawks winning the Superbowl…and how long will they remain a Seatle team since I’ve heard it is up for sale if that information was actually true. So, I guess we should all just enjoy tomorrow because it may be the last one.

MUSINGS AND MONEY

          

 Sometimes I wish my memory was like a sharp trap, i.e., that whatever I’m thinking about and know I’ve thunk about, would pop right to the tippy-top of my mind. Unfortunately, that seems to happen less and less than in the past. I wonder some days if I’m experiencing the beginning of dementia or it’s just plain old forgetfulness.

          For example, I read something some place about American Cruise Lines and thought I could probably afford to take a cruise or two. So, I sent away for their brochure. The prices listed there and the ones I just saw on their web site do not compare to what my memory thinks it saw when I decided to ask for the brochure. The idea of being able to afford one of these cruises has sputtered and might have died because the prices are not what I remember seeing. Perhaps what I saw was very old information.

          In any case, I doubt I’ll be taking one of their cruises any time soon. In fact, I find myself pondering my current and future financial status. It’s not like I’m going to be out on the street any time soon, but it’s also not like I’ll be signing up for any expensive trips or events any time soon either. Were I to have a permanent end date, i.e., the date I’ll die, then I could go ahead and plan whatever I wanted to plan; unless, of course, my end date were twenty or more years away.

          My inner coach points out that I have X amount of funds, but that isn’t all I have. There’s also the house, i.e., if I sold it, I’d have a whole bunch more money. I know nothing about reverse mortgages, but supposedly, the bank would give me money toward the future sale of the house. I haven’t done any research and probably won’t, but there’s that potential.

          So, what if I were to take that $10,000+ and book myself a trip. For instance, there’s one that originates in New Orleans and goes clear up the Mississippi. It would cost more than the $10,000, but would be my first choice and lasts more than two weeks. Over the years, I’ve read so much about that area of the country, that it would, in some ways, be like visiting an old friend. I’m sure I’d recognize many of the places I’d see if I were to bite the bullet and spend the funds.

          Well, I’ve spent enough time, and it was FREE, this morning considering my future financial status and the potential for making it less secure. Time to get dressed and tend to the garden out in front. I made great headway yesterday and will continue today…the sun and my own sweat are pretty much free.

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW

        

  Yesterday I went to my exercise class, having skipped Monday to sleep in late. I asked about a classmate who had a stroke a month or so ago only to hear that she passed away last Thursday. First, the fact she had a stroke came as a shock, but that she’d died was an even bigger one. Here’s why.

          This woman began fitness classes a couple of years ago and went on to become a certified instructor who would take our regular instructor’s place when she had to be gone. She didn’t work us as hard as the regular instructor, but we moved and worked as much as we wanted. She’d also been, and maybe still was, a practicing ballet student/dancer.

          Not only did she become an instructor, she began to come in to our class early. When those of us who arrived later, we'd find the chairs all set up and the sign-in sheet ready. I don’t think any of us truly appreciated how much this lady did until we had to go back to moving the chairs and setting everything up. It’s not fun to have to do that before you begin to exercise.

          In addition to appearing to be in excellent physical shape, this fellow exerciser went above and beyond the regular program by stretching and walking and doing other workout drills before class even began. She was also small, seemed to be physically fit and have muscles.

          To say the fact my classmate/instructor had a stroke came as a huge surprise would be a gross understatement. I would not have thought this woman would be a candidate for something like that ever. If anything, and if I had given it any thought, I would have assumed that I’d be heading for the pearly gates long before she did.

          To say the fact that she died last week without ever regaining consciousness was a shock yesterday would also be a huge understatement. I’m still trying to comprehend the information. I also guess this was or is a lesson about how one never knows when one’s turn might arrive.

TWO "Gs"...GOOD WEATHER AND GARDENING

           

I’m excited!!! Beginning yesterday and lasting through Friday, the weather is supposed to be wonderful. The sun is supposed to shine, no rain, and temperatures are in the upper fifties, maybe even sixty on one of those days. Yippeeeeee!!!

          When I wrote this on Monday, it was the usual gray and the temperature was in the forties. I looked out my window at all the work that awaited me in the garden and did my best to remain excited about the good weather. You see, there is a lot of work to be done.

          In the front, I need to finish the brick work around the big rhododendron, deadhead all the daisies from last year, cut down all the ornamental grasses, rake the dead leaves from the flowerbeds, weed and/or spray weed killer depending on where the weeds are residing and prune some of the shrubs. In the past, this would be the work of one single day. These days, I may or may not finish it all by Friday.

          This leads me to the question, “Why when I finally have all the time in the world to work on what I love, do I lack the strength and stamina to work at it for as long as I want?” Somehow, it doesn’t seem fair that when I was strong with the stamina of the proverbial ox, I was yoked (like the ox) into a job and/or work that didn’t leave a lot of time for the work that I loved. Don’t get me wrong. I loved my job, was good at it and it gave me a strong sense of worth. But it wasn’t the same as what I get from working in the garden.

          I guess the lesson I need to take from this blog post is that it doesn’t matter how long a project will take me, but that I persevere until it is complete, while also taking into great consideration my abilities and strengths. If I can manage only two hours, then I need to pat myself on the back for those two hours and not lament the other ten hours I didn’t have the strength and/or stamina to continue.

          It’s a hard lesson to learn and I’m still in the process of learning it. Rather than be satisfied with what I can and do accomplish, I often choose to beat myself up over the lack of accomplishment. Beginning with these sunny days, I need to, and will remind myself often to, concentrate on what I’ve completed rather than on what’s left. They say practice makes perfect, so perhaps by the end of the week when the rain returns, I’ll be much closer to perfect.