When
I woke up this morning, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I wanted to stay there
and let the world go on without me. I didn’t feel as though I could manage one
more day all alone except for the doggies. I didn’t feel as though I could go
through one more day without feeling the skin of another person. But this is my
life now, so I got up.
When
I worked at the University of Washington, I was allowed to take one class free
each semester if my boss agreed. I took English classes. In one of the classes,
the instructor had us read an article that talked about the importance of skin.
I’ve never forgotten it. I may even have already blogged about it, but it’s at the
forefront of my mind today.
What
the article talked about was how when we are babies and children, we get lots
of skin from our parents and other people. When we grow up and fall in love
(and lust), we still have lots of skin to skin contact. We have children, and
the cycle repeats until the children grow up. Then, unless we are extremely
lucky, our daily skin to skin contact becomes less and less.
Not
too long ago, I read another article about the importance of hugs. It stated
that to be very healthy an individual needed at least 12 (that’s TWELVE) hugs
each and every day. It’s been forever since I was able to receive and/or give
12 hugs each day.
Now,
with the pandemic, there is absolutely no skin to skin contact, even with my
own children or grandchildren. There are no hugs or pats from my friends. It’s
all virtual or air hugs and air kisses. To be perfectly honest, IT SUCKS!!!
I
have no idea how it would have been if John were still here with me. Perhaps
the pandemic would have been really good for our relationship. Perhaps we would
have reached out to each other for the skin to skin contact, the 12 hugs we
needed every day. I have no idea, but I like to think we would have worked harder
at our relationship since it was just the two of us in it together.
There
is a degree of envy on my part for my friends and family who have their
husbands or wives and children. They do not have to stay six feet apart. They
can hug and have as much skin to skin contact as they want. And, in my opinion
as a lonely widow, if they aren’t taking advantage of this opportunity to
become closer and feed the need for skin, they definitely need to begin working
on that.
There
is absolutely a part of me that wishes and wants John to be here with me now. I
need him now. There is another part that’s grateful he is not here. If he were,
he would have ended up in the hospital alone and most likely contracted the
coronavirus and died…alone. I’m forever grateful that won’t happen.
Having
Karma and Kaizer does help some. I love the feel of their warm bodies as they
lay on me when I’m on the couch. If my bed were bigger, I’d probably have them
sleep with me. It’s also good I have them because it means I absolutely have to
get out of bed. However, they definitely do not take the place of human skin to
skin contact. Today, I miss so much, way more than any words I could use to
express, the lack of and loss of skin to skin contact.
For
those of you who still have that available…TAKE ADVANTAGE NOW!!!
