SKIN AND HUGS

When I woke up this morning, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I wanted to stay there and let the world go on without me. I didn’t feel as though I could manage one more day all alone except for the doggies. I didn’t feel as though I could go through one more day without feeling the skin of another person. But this is my life now, so I got up. 

When I worked at the University of Washington, I was allowed to take one class free each semester if my boss agreed. I took English classes. In one of the classes, the instructor had us read an article that talked about the importance of skin. I’ve never forgotten it. I may even have already blogged about it, but it’s at the forefront of my mind today.

What the article talked about was how when we are babies and children, we get lots of skin from our parents and other people. When we grow up and fall in love (and lust), we still have lots of skin to skin contact. We have children, and the cycle repeats until the children grow up. Then, unless we are extremely lucky, our daily skin to skin contact becomes less and less.

Not too long ago, I read another article about the importance of hugs. It stated that to be very healthy an individual needed at least 12 (that’s TWELVE) hugs each and every day. It’s been forever since I was able to receive and/or give 12 hugs each day.

Now, with the pandemic, there is absolutely no skin to skin contact, even with my own children or grandchildren. There are no hugs or pats from my friends. It’s all virtual or air hugs and air kisses. To be perfectly honest, IT SUCKS!!!

I have no idea how it would have been if John were still here with me. Perhaps the pandemic would have been really good for our relationship. Perhaps we would have reached out to each other for the skin to skin contact, the 12 hugs we needed every day. I have no idea, but I like to think we would have worked harder at our relationship since it was just the two of us in it together.

There is a degree of envy on my part for my friends and family who have their husbands or wives and children. They do not have to stay six feet apart. They can hug and have as much skin to skin contact as they want. And, in my opinion as a lonely widow, if they aren’t taking advantage of this opportunity to become closer and feed the need for skin, they definitely need to begin working on that.

There is absolutely a part of me that wishes and wants John to be here with me now. I need him now. There is another part that’s grateful he is not here. If he were, he would have ended up in the hospital alone and most likely contracted the coronavirus and died…alone. I’m forever grateful that won’t happen.  

Having Karma and Kaizer does help some. I love the feel of their warm bodies as they lay on me when I’m on the couch. If my bed were bigger, I’d probably have them sleep with me. It’s also good I have them because it means I absolutely have to get out of bed. However, they definitely do not take the place of human skin to skin contact. Today, I miss so much, way more than any words I could use to express, the lack of and loss of skin to skin contact.

For those of you who still have that available…TAKE ADVANTAGE NOW!!!