TIGER LILY AND HAPPY TIMES

          My final lily of the year is the Tiger Lily. I don’t know how I ended up with so many in so many different places. I know last year I cleaned the lilies out of the big tub I had in front, but I didn’t think there were very many tigers in there. I love the way their petals fold back and the black dots on them. I wonder if they come in any color besides orange, but then they are probably not called tiger lilies.

       

        I posted about my mental state on Monday, but neglected to look at or talk about what’s actually coming up this week. Tomorrow, 8/12, it will be a year since John died. The day after would have been our 54^th anniversary. I’ve a feeling it’s going to be a roller coaster kind of week. And, unfortunately, there’s going to be no one, aside from the doggies, who can or will comfort me when that roller coaster is in the dips.

In some ways it seems like John’s death happened a long time ago, and in other ways it seems as though it just happened. And, as for 54 years of marriage, whoooooeeeeee, but that seems like a very very very long time ago. And, yet in other ways, when I think about how much we loved each other as we began our lives together, it’s as though it was just last week. We were so very happy so long ago in the beginning and really throughout most of our lives together.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ve been through some of my ups and downs, read about my anger, feelings of betrayal, and, yes, the love I had for John as well. Marriage and a life together is made up of so many different experiences and for this post, I’m going to choose ones that made me happy because, right now, that’s exactly what I need.

I loved sharing my apartment with John even though he didn’t stay 24/7 before we married. He did spend most weekends and some week nights depending on how tired he was after a day’s work. I remember the first meal he cooked for me. He got to the apartment first and when he picked me up and brought me back, there was baked chicken breast, mashed potatoes with butter and green beans. Up to that point, I didn’t know he could cook anything. He did continue to cook even after his health began to deteriorate…nothing fancy, but I surely appreciated his efforts.

John ALWAYS did the dishes. He liked to do them. He said they kept his hands soft and that must have been true because even with all the work he did using them, they never scratched my skin. He even managed to get some of the other husbands in our group to take on the dishes so the wives, tired from cooking, could relax. Even our sons grew up helping John with the dishes and whenever I host something here, it’s the sons who usually do the dishes.

Our honeymoon, which I’ve already written about, remains in my memory as a wonderful, golden time in a land where no one knew us, spoke our language for the most part, and gave us such wonderful one-on-one times together. The best coke I ever had was there…it formed ice crystals when John opened it.

Our puppy, Fang the wonder dog, was the first “child” we raised. Such a cutie that fit in my hand when we brought him home. Fang went every place we went for as long as he was alive. When AJ got big enough to toddle about, Fang was right there with him as though it was Fang’s job to keep him safe.

AJ’s birth…it wasn’t real until it happened and then the look on John’s face the first time he held his boy…words could not do it justice. It was a good thing I didn’t start on the announcements right away because between going home and coming back, John decided to change the spelling…Eric became Arik which became AJ (Johann) when he got to school and every class had six Erics.

Sex…I wrote an entire post about this. It was absolutely positively wonderfully GREAT. I miss it and am thankful we had it.

The way John spoiled Thor after he was born.  Drove me crazy sometimes, but he hadn’t been able to do that with AJ, so I think he made up for it with Thor. Now I can smile and laugh and even appreciate how Thor would turn and look at me with his fingers in his mouth and this big shit-eating grin on his face after Daddeee got him out of his crib for a cuddle.

The year John decided to grow strawberries and built this thing out of old tires. I still have the photo of his crop…one small and one medium strawberry…but I guess they tasted wonderful.

The display station John built when I sold macramé hangers at the elementary crafts fair. It was big and gorgeous and displayed my plants and hangers perfectly. One of the PTA ladies told me she could tell just from the way John looked at me that he loved me so much.

John taking on breakfast, get the kids to school duty since he was a morning guy and I wasn’t either a morning person or a guy. How he cooked dippy eggs with toast for his boys and encouraged them to eat.

AJ’s first driving lesson in the old 1970 VW Campervan. We’re at the ocean and John lets AJ get behind the wheel. I’m in the back and Thor’s leaning between the front seats. John’s directing, AJ’s trying and we end up mired in the sand. John gave some older teens some cash to pull us out to a firmer surface.

Every single one of the birthdays and holidays we shared with each other, our sons, our families and eventually with our son’s families. Each one was special, each one has photos, each one was a very happy time. Imagine, four years with just us and then next month, it will be 50 years with our first child. Each time was different and yet the same and yet so very special.

I just wrote about Kenya, so I don’t need to say much here. But we also went to China for almost three weeks where we were treated like royalty. That trip was the highlight of our lives I do believe. I’ll write more about it in another post.

If I were to get the photos out or begin to scroll through all the ones on this computer, I could undoubtedly fill pages and pages of good memories from my life with John, but I’m not going to do that. The ones here are the ones that popped to the forefront of my mind as I sat here typing.