No chapter about Luke and
Hannah today. I didn’t get any writing done on Monday…errands day. I was
shocked when I went to Costco on my monthly trip. There was a huge line that
would have ended up out on Aurora Avenue if there wasn’t a huge bank there.
Only once before back in the spring did I find any kind of line at all. All the
other trips, I’ve gone right in. And, this was at almost 10:00 am. Anyway, I
was extremely glad I had an umbrella to keep me dry while I waited although it
didn’t take all that long before I was inside. Got my stuff and got out. And, I’m
happy to say I only made one impulse buy…a quartet of small brie in different
flavors. I figured why not treat myself to something I really like when I’m
going to be here by myself.
Following that, I went to
Double D meats in the hope they’d have the Mariner hotdogs they used to carry,
but whoever made them no longer does and while I’m not a great hotdog fan, I
liked those. Lastly to QFC for the rest of the stuff on my list. No point in
purchasing huge bags of salad and other huge containers of stuff at Costco when
some of it will simply go bad before I can get it eaten.
Had a nice long
conversation with Thor and a much shorter one with Xander who is far too busy
to talk to his Nana for long, but he did sign off saying he loves me. I think I
posted that Thor had taken all his father’s collector cards and was organizing
and trying to sell them on E-bay. We had a chuckle about how his dad collected
all this stuff and not much of it has been worth anything.
That led to me to thanking
Thor for my financial situation today. I left my UW job shortly before I gave
birth to him and spent the next four years being a wife and mommy, the longest
period ever I didn’t have a job. Thor was going to go to kindergarten that next
year and I really needed to get him off my thigh, so to speak. He started preschool
when he was two because he was potty-trained, but we were still together all
the other hours/days.
The first job the City of
Seattle offered me was at a clinic for handicapped children in Pioneer Square.
I declined because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the sadness of such a
place. The next offer came from the Department
of Parks and Recreation for a permanent part-time job at the Denny Park
location on Dexter. I accepted and enrolled Thor in day-care at the local grade
school.
For the next four to six
weeks, we had a hard time with letting go. When I put Thor to bed at night, he
pleaded for me to stay home and when I dropped him off in the mornings, he
cried like his heart would break. The teachers there told me I was barely out
of sight when the tears dried up and he was happy and playing. That finally
made me think that my own angst over leaving Thor was probably compounding the
problem. One night I had a little talk with him and told him, “There’s going to
be things throughout your life that you are not going to like. Mommy having a
job and working is one of those things. Mommy’s not going to quit her job, so
you’re going to have to get used to going to day-care.”
I think when I accepted
the fact I wasn’t ever going to be a full-time mommy again and let go of my own
sad feelings, Thor was able to move on too…probably crying and pleading just to
make mommy feel good…he’s always been such a good boy that way. And, it was a
good thing too, because apparently my angst carried over to work and my boss
told me later that he was just about to let me go when Thor and I got things
together.
Still, I had no idea about
the City of Seattle benefits. For the first few times there was a holiday on
Monday, I didn’t put any hours on my time-sheet. I was part-time. Still, my
check would come with extra money on it. I think it was a woman I worked with
who explained the part about my job being permanent and that it meant I got
sick leave, vacation, retirement and pay for holidays. Well, hell, wasn’t that
wonderful news.
Then, several years later,
my job was written out of the budget at Dexter and the only permanent part-time
job was at Woodland Park Zoo. So, I HAD to go there, but what a blessing that
actually turned out to be. When the zoo went into a public-private partnership
with the City, all my benefits came with me when I became a Zoo Society
employee. Not only that, but the City had to match the funds in my retirement
account. Whoa, that was great news.
It was also then I became
a salaried employee as opposed to hourly. I continued to fill out my time
sheets and put down sick leave hours for doctor and dentist appointments. Our
payroll person finally came to me and explained that I didn’t have to do that.
I was salaried and if I came to work for just a minute, that meant I got paid
for the entire day. Whoa, wasn’t that nice. At the same time, it also meant
that the hours I stayed after for board meetings and other events did not
appear on my time sheet. My time then was gratis.
So, it’s thanks to Thor
that I ended up with a retirement account that made retirement possible and
gives me a certain amount of financial security. I thanked him for that today
and he pointed out that his brother also ended up working for the Parks
Department, so he should be thanked for that too. And yes, I did provide AJ
with an application for seasonal work when he graduated from high school. But it
was his decision to accept first the permanent part-time job they offered and
then the full-time job. He should have a great retirement account as well.
The only sadness in my day
had to do with losing touch, more or less, with an old friend. Perhaps at some
point we’ll touch base again, but for now I need to pretend my friend is out
there somewhere but unable to connect.
It reminds me of a very
close relationship I had with a cousin. For various reasons I won’t go into
here, she had to stop being my friend and go on with her life. I was crushed
because we’d been together every single day for several years. I went to see my
old counselor because I felt so bad, sort of like she’d died but was yet living
and living without me. He didn’t make me feel any better because he knew all
the circumstances surrounding the reasons for her withdrawal because he had been her counselor as well. His advice was to
pretend my cousin was on an island that didn’t allow outgoing or incoming mail
or contacts.
That didn’t help me feel
any less sad or bad over what had happened, but he was right in a way. When the
time came and my cousin was able to reach out again, we reconnected. We still
aren’t in each other’s lives the way we were then, but whenever we do connect,
it’s good, VERY GOOD and I’m grateful.
So, I guess I’ll pretend
my absent friend is on an island and perhaps one day I’ll get an email, text,
phone call or whatever and we can begin our friendship again…and then maybe
not. Still, I’m very grateful for all the talks, laughter, sharing that we’ve
done in the past. I wish my friend nothing but the best and hope eventually my friend will
realize I’m more of a positive in life than not.
I’ll do my best to provide
a new Luke and Hannah chapter tomorrow. I just remembered Luke and Laura from
General Hospital…chose the wrong name for Hannah. I’m laughing as I type this.