MISCELLANEA...AGAIN

 

No chapter about Luke and Hannah today. I didn’t get any writing done on Monday…errands day. I was shocked when I went to Costco on my monthly trip. There was a huge line that would have ended up out on Aurora Avenue if there wasn’t a huge bank there. Only once before back in the spring did I find any kind of line at all. All the other trips, I’ve gone right in. And, this was at almost 10:00 am. Anyway, I was extremely glad I had an umbrella to keep me dry while I waited although it didn’t take all that long before I was inside. Got my stuff and got out. And, I’m happy to say I only made one impulse buy…a quartet of small brie in different flavors. I figured why not treat myself to something I really like when I’m going to be here by myself.

Following that, I went to Double D meats in the hope they’d have the Mariner hotdogs they used to carry, but whoever made them no longer does and while I’m not a great hotdog fan, I liked those. Lastly to QFC for the rest of the stuff on my list. No point in purchasing huge bags of salad and other huge containers of stuff at Costco when some of it will simply go bad before I can get it eaten.

Had a nice long conversation with Thor and a much shorter one with Xander who is far too busy to talk to his Nana for long, but he did sign off saying he loves me. I think I posted that Thor had taken all his father’s collector cards and was organizing and trying to sell them on E-bay. We had a chuckle about how his dad collected all this stuff and not much of it has been worth anything.

That led to me to thanking Thor for my financial situation today. I left my UW job shortly before I gave birth to him and spent the next four years being a wife and mommy, the longest period ever I didn’t have a job. Thor was going to go to kindergarten that next year and I really needed to get him off my thigh, so to speak. He started preschool when he was two because he was potty-trained, but we were still together all the other hours/days.

The first job the City of Seattle offered me was at a clinic for handicapped children in Pioneer Square. I declined because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the sadness of such a place.  The next offer came from the Department of Parks and Recreation for a permanent part-time job at the Denny Park location on Dexter. I accepted and enrolled Thor in day-care at the local grade school.

For the next four to six weeks, we had a hard time with letting go. When I put Thor to bed at night, he pleaded for me to stay home and when I dropped him off in the mornings, he cried like his heart would break. The teachers there told me I was barely out of sight when the tears dried up and he was happy and playing. That finally made me think that my own angst over leaving Thor was probably compounding the problem. One night I had a little talk with him and told him, “There’s going to be things throughout your life that you are not going to like. Mommy having a job and working is one of those things. Mommy’s not going to quit her job, so you’re going to have to get used to going to day-care.”

I think when I accepted the fact I wasn’t ever going to be a full-time mommy again and let go of my own sad feelings, Thor was able to move on too…probably crying and pleading just to make mommy feel good…he’s always been such a good boy that way. And, it was a good thing too, because apparently my angst carried over to work and my boss told me later that he was just about to let me go when Thor and I got things together.

Still, I had no idea about the City of Seattle benefits. For the first few times there was a holiday on Monday, I didn’t put any hours on my time-sheet. I was part-time. Still, my check would come with extra money on it. I think it was a woman I worked with who explained the part about my job being permanent and that it meant I got sick leave, vacation, retirement and pay for holidays. Well, hell, wasn’t that wonderful news.

Then, several years later, my job was written out of the budget at Dexter and the only permanent part-time job was at Woodland Park Zoo. So, I HAD to go there, but what a blessing that actually turned out to be. When the zoo went into a public-private partnership with the City, all my benefits came with me when I became a Zoo Society employee. Not only that, but the City had to match the funds in my retirement account. Whoa, that was great news.

It was also then I became a salaried employee as opposed to hourly. I continued to fill out my time sheets and put down sick leave hours for doctor and dentist appointments. Our payroll person finally came to me and explained that I didn’t have to do that. I was salaried and if I came to work for just a minute, that meant I got paid for the entire day. Whoa, wasn’t that nice. At the same time, it also meant that the hours I stayed after for board meetings and other events did not appear on my time sheet. My time then was gratis.

So, it’s thanks to Thor that I ended up with a retirement account that made retirement possible and gives me a certain amount of financial security. I thanked him for that today and he pointed out that his brother also ended up working for the Parks Department, so he should be thanked for that too. And yes, I did provide AJ with an application for seasonal work when he graduated from high school. But it was his decision to accept first the permanent part-time job they offered and then the full-time job. He should have a great retirement account as well.

The only sadness in my day had to do with losing touch, more or less, with an old friend. Perhaps at some point we’ll touch base again, but for now I need to pretend my friend is out there somewhere but unable to connect.

It reminds me of a very close relationship I had with a cousin. For various reasons I won’t go into here, she had to stop being my friend and go on with her life. I was crushed because we’d been together every single day for several years. I went to see my old counselor because I felt so bad, sort of like she’d died but was yet living and living without me. He didn’t make me feel any better because he knew all the circumstances surrounding the reasons for her withdrawal because he had been her counselor as well. His advice was to pretend my cousin was on an island that didn’t allow outgoing or incoming mail or contacts.

That didn’t help me feel any less sad or bad over what had happened, but he was right in a way. When the time came and my cousin was able to reach out again, we reconnected. We still aren’t in each other’s lives the way we were then, but whenever we do connect, it’s good, VERY GOOD and I’m grateful.

So, I guess I’ll pretend my absent friend is on an island and perhaps one day I’ll get an email, text, phone call or whatever and we can begin our friendship again…and then maybe not. Still, I’m very grateful for all the talks, laughter, sharing that we’ve done in the past. I wish my friend nothing but the best and hope eventually my friend will realize I’m more of a positive in life than not.

I’ll do my best to provide a new Luke and Hannah chapter tomorrow. I just remembered Luke and Laura from General Hospital…chose the wrong name for Hannah. I’m laughing as I type this.