Initially, when John died, I received daily phone calls from my
sons, checking up on me to make sure I was doing okay. Friends and neighbors
also checked in and offered up invitations for coffee, lunch, dinner, time with
them. As the days, then weeks and finally months passed, these connections
slowly fell by the wayside. Everyone returned to the life they’d had prior to
John’s death.
As for me, I had to find a new
“normal,” whatever that may be. I returned to my fitness classes, my morning
walks with the neighbor and made an effort to see at least one close friend (or
more sometimes) for lunch each week. I just didn’t expect it to be so damn
difficult.
It's been months since I wrote the above, and I do believe I've adjusted fairly well. I make an effort to call my sons, friends, and other family and they do call me as well. I make an effort to accept invitations when given and to issue ones of my own. And, yes, it was difficult there for a while, but I learned, and am learning, what it is I do want to do and what I don't want to do. More about all that in future posts.