Friendship. This
is a word I’ve mulled over time and time again. I doubt I understand it any
better now than I did in my youngest days. I do think it’s one of the most
important things I can have in my life. I also have come to realize, at least
for me, there are different types of friendship.
There are
friends I see frequently and with whom I share the most intimate details of my
life. They are the friends I know I can count on and for whom I would do almost
anything. I also think they would do almost anything for me as well. I treasure
all these friendships and love the way they have been there for me during the most
difficult times of my life as well as me for them. The strands of their lives
are tightly woven into my life tapestry.
There are
friends I don’t see very often but because of our linkages and/or background,
when I see them it’s as though we were together just the day before. I cherish these friendships and often wish we
lived closer to each other or had lives that allowed us the opportunities to
see each other more often. The threads of their lives aren’t as tightly woven
into my tapestry but wait for the time they’ll be taken up once again.
There are friends
I’ve had forever, their lives so tightly woven into the tapestry of my life that
their value is priceless. I have but a few of these left which makes them all
the more precious. I try very hard to make sure they know I think of and love
them.
There are friends who are more acquaintances than actual friends, but I care about these people as well. Whenever I see their Facebook posts, run into them when I’m out and about or we connect in some way for no reason, I’m always delighted to learn how their lives are progressing. It’s as though the fibers of their lives are loosely woven together but still make my life tapestry better.
Then, there are
the friends with whom I’ve completely lost touch for one reason or another.
There never seems to be any one event that caused the friendship to cease, but
it has. I miss these people but wish them well. The strands of their lives
have broken and no longer add to my tapestry’s beauty.
There are also
friends that I think of as a “twofer.” They were part of my life when John was
alive, but their friendship was mainly with him and they have ceased to be in contact.
It’s as if when John’s thread broke, theirs did as well. Again, I miss them but
wish them well.
Finally, there
are people I considered friends, and in some cases, good friends that have
apparently moved on for one reason or another. I look to myself for reasons why
this has happened. On my behalf, I believe I am a good friend, loving, generous,
considerate, helpful, willing to assist or share however possible. Still, these
people no longer inhabit my life; and while for a time, I seriously considered
I was to blame for their lack of contact, I no longer do so. It was their
choice, and I don’t have time to look for reasons or to apply blame. The
threads of their lives have been caught up and no longer have the capability of
adding to my tapestry.
I find myself
extremely fortunate in the friendships I do have and maintain. These are the
women and men who add so much worth to my life that I would be, and am, bereft at
each and every loss. Of course, at my age, I am looking at a tapestry nearing
completion. That is all the more reason to cherish and value the remaining
threads that continue to be interwoven with my own.
If you are
reading this, I urge you to reach out to your friends, both those near and far.
Make that telephone call, set up that coffee, do whatever you need to do to let
that person know you remember and care deeply about your friendship. Again, if
you are near my age, those friendships are more important than ever.