FRIENDSHIP

 

          Friendship. This is a word I’ve mulled over time and time again. I doubt I understand it any better now than I did in my youngest days. I do think it’s one of the most important things I can have in my life. I also have come to realize, at least for me, there are different types of friendship.

          There are friends I see frequently and with whom I share the most intimate details of my life. They are the friends I know I can count on and for whom I would do almost anything. I also think they would do almost anything for me as well. I treasure all these friendships and love the way they have been there for me during the most difficult times of my life as well as me for them. The strands of their lives are tightly woven into my life tapestry.

          There are friends I don’t see very often but because of our linkages and/or background, when I see them it’s as though we were together just the day before.  I cherish these friendships and often wish we lived closer to each other or had lives that allowed us the opportunities to see each other more often. The threads of their lives aren’t as tightly woven into my tapestry but wait for the time they’ll be taken up once again.

          There are friends I’ve had forever, their lives so tightly woven into the tapestry of my life that their value is priceless. I have but a few of these left which makes them all the more precious. I try very hard to make sure they know I think of and love them.

          There are friends who are more acquaintances than actual friends, but I care about these people as well. Whenever I see their Facebook posts, run into them when I’m out and about or we connect in some way for no reason, I’m always delighted to learn how their lives are progressing. It’s as though the fibers of their lives are loosely woven together but still make my life tapestry better.

          Then, there are the friends with whom I’ve completely lost touch for one reason or another. There never seems to be any one event that caused the friendship to cease, but it has. I miss these people but wish them well. The strands of their lives have broken and no longer add to my tapestry’s beauty.

          There are also friends that I think of as a “twofer.” They were part of my life when John was alive, but their friendship was mainly with him and they have ceased to be in contact. It’s as if when John’s thread broke, theirs did as well. Again, I miss them but wish them well.

          Finally, there are people I considered friends, and in some cases, good friends that have apparently moved on for one reason or another. I look to myself for reasons why this has happened. On my behalf, I believe I am a good friend, loving, generous, considerate, helpful, willing to assist or share however possible. Still, these people no longer inhabit my life; and while for a time, I seriously considered I was to blame for their lack of contact, I no longer do so. It was their choice, and I don’t have time to look for reasons or to apply blame. The threads of their lives have been caught up and no longer have the capability of adding to my tapestry.

          I find myself extremely fortunate in the friendships I do have and maintain. These are the women and men who add so much worth to my life that I would be, and am, bereft at each and every loss. Of course, at my age, I am looking at a tapestry nearing completion. That is all the more reason to cherish and value the remaining threads that continue to be interwoven with my own.

          If you are reading this, I urge you to reach out to your friends, both those near and far. Make that telephone call, set up that coffee, do whatever you need to do to let that person know you remember and care deeply about your friendship. Again, if you are near my age, those friendships are more important than ever.