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Long ago I heard or read about how much a widow’s life changes once the husband has passed. I haven’t really thought about that very much in the time John has been gone; however, just recently, listening to a friend talk about inviting a couple to dinner, it popped up in my memory…I guess it took my old 286 six-plus years to grind that information to the forefront.
I have to admit
the information I filed away all those years ago definitely had merit. When
John died, family and friends were very solicitous, but as time passed,
invitations and connections ceased or became rare. I cannot, well, I guess I
could, tell you how many of my friends are half of a couple; and while I may see/talk
to/lunch with the wife, an invitation to the home for dinner, or really any
occasion, is rarely, if ever, issued. This also applies to married family members.
It’s as though
my widowhood has turned me into a pariah. I’m a good enough/close enough family
member/friend to warrant a weekly phone call or visit or lunch date, but not so
much when it comes to issuing an invitation into the home of that family member
or friend.
I haven’t done
any research to see if this is applicable to the majority of widows and
probably won’t. There’s the potential to find out that this “isolation” isn’t
applicable to most widows, that it’s only applicable to me because I’m not
really such a great family member or friend.
Regardless, eating dinner on my
own the majority of the 365 days of the year is lonely but I’ve become used to
it. And it’s not like I spend all of those days here in my house on my own. I’ve
lots of activities and interests that keep me occupied in positive ways; and
while I could spend more time than this wondering if there’s actually something
wrong with me that prevents those invitations, I choose to end this blog post
and get on with the life I have.