WANTING/NEEDING COMFORT

          

 Do you remember what it was like when you were very young and something happened that was either small or huge and made you feel awful…lots of times sending the tears flowing? I do. I also remember being picked up by an adult, usually mom, grandma or daddy, or when I got bigger, being able to crawl into their laps/arms for a cuddle. Do you remember how wonderful it was to have all the “pain,” whether physical or mental practically erased by the time the tears dried? I do.

          Even today, I can remember how my mom smelled. She smelled like soap, cigarettes and sometimes mouthwash. Daddy smelled like cigarettes, flour and sweat sometimes. Grandma’s odor was different. She smelled like her clothing which always seemed clean and fresh, but sometimes, she also smelled like the snuff she put in her lower lip. All those smells and all those arms and hands, not to mention the voices provided so much solace and reassurance. I can remember how whatever my problem had been, it was solved by the time I moved away from them.

          These days, I wish it were possible to have this eighty-year-old body and mind comforted in just that way. Unfortunately, there’s no adult in my life that could sooth my physical or mental hurts in any fashion. Kuma will allow me to give him as many hugs and pets as I could possibly want, but it’s more for his pleasure than my consolation. I will admit though that there is a great amount of comfort to be had from Kuma and I’m grateful for him and his presence.

          I believe I’ve written about this before. Long ago in an English class, there was a short article about the importance of skin. Newly born, growing up, being in a relationship, becoming a parent were all discussed because there was an abundance of skin, i.e., touch during those times. The article ended by discussing how older folks suffered from a lack of skin which might be detrimental to those folks’ health.

          There was also an article about how many hugs is necessary for good health. This was just discussed at my exercise class last week. The minimum necessary per day is four. The best number is twelve hugs each day. Anything beyond those twelve is icing on the cake. Well, damn, I don’t have the cake, let alone the icing.

          I guess the best I can do with all this reflection is to remember the comfort given and received during all those times there was a lot of skin in my life, and to be thankful for those memories.