I’ve
been feeling just a tad morose for a bit and decided I needed to look at my
accomplishments rather than what’s on the “need to do” or “will never get to do”
lists. I also know if I sat down and wrote more fiction, i.e., completed Under
Construction and began work on the next book which is percolating in the
back of my brain, I’d feel a whole bunch better. But I’ll get to that and,
hopefully, soon.
Meanwhile,
I’m not sure if I reported that I had my final series of tests and CT scan and
everything came back perfectly normal. That doesn’t mean I’m feeling perfectly
normal because somehow my body just doesn’t want to return to the normal, I
knew last November. I don’t remember waking up each and every single day
feeling as though someone came through during the night and beat me with a big
stick. I mean almost everything hurts when I first get up and get moving. I don’t
remember that as being my normal.
Still,
I persevere and do my physical therapy and exercises every single day of the
week but one…I do allow myself a day off. In addition, the Enhanced Fitness
classes at the senior center started up again the beginning of May, so I go and
try to enhance myself Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The other three days, i.e.,
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I try to walk as I used to do Monday through
Friday, but haven’t been too successful at that lately. I think I’m going to
switch my walk to the evening since it’s light late. I’m sure Karma and/or
Kaizer would appreciate a little sojourn through the neighborhood. Easy to
plan, but follow-through is ever so much harder.
There
are two new skylights in my bathroom. They came with a remote, actually two
remotes, one for each skylight but they are programmed to operate both
simultaneously. I have a spare in case I mislay one of them. All I have to do is
press a button and they begin opening. Another button allows me to stop the
opening when it’s small or allow for it to become much larger. And, they also
close when it begins to rain if I’m not around to close them, and I discovered
that actually does happen. Because the bathroom always became so hot on the
really hot days, now that I can allow that hot air to move up and out, I may
not need to drag my air conditioner out of the closet when the warm weather
arrives. That would be swell.
I
also have had the glass in two bedroom windows replaced because the seal had
broken. The installers were supposed to do the living room window glass too, but the frame has been compromised so I’ll need a new frame as well. That
now probably won’t happen now for another six weeks or so.
Two
new hallway rugs were purchased and laid down. I’ve also purchased enough
indoor-outdoor carpet to redo the entryway to the house and a seating area under cover on the deck. I thought I’d get it
done this weekend, but not it looks as though it may rain.
Maryanne
and Greg made two trips over to load up all the bricks on the side of the
house. Greg has big plans for them and I’ve seen the beginning of his project.
He does extremely nice work. Since the bricks are now gone and the side of the
house is empty, I’m going to have Haley and her friend Alex (with AJ
supervising) remove the lean-to that has existed between the house and fence
for the last 50+ years. They plan to do that later this month and my neighbor
to the north will be happy about that. At some point when I find a dependable
and not too spendy handyman, I’ll have a gate built that will, hopefully, hide
the garbage, yard waste and recycle cans.
I
haven’t yet begun to change what was the marital bedroom aside from eliminating
all the stamp stuff. A fellow Lion’s Club member who is a stamp aficionado came
out and put together the two airmail and one duck stamp notebooks for the boys.
Then, he paid me for the face value of all the other stamps John acquired over
the years and hauled them away. I know the funds I received in no way amounted
to what John spent over 50 years in acquiring so many stamps, but that project
is finished. Plus, I have enough postage to last me the remainder of my life, especially
since I don’t send out much mail these days.
There’s
still stuff in that bedroom, but I plan to go through it, take photos and put
it up for sale on FB Marketplace, Craig’s List or E-Bay in the near future.
Once that room is empty, then I’m going to paint the entire thing, purchase
myself a double bed with all new linens and pillows, decorate it so it pleases
me and move me, myself and I in there.
I’ve
also been spending time in the garden. I planted five pots of tomatoes, one
each of pumpkin, delicata and zucchini squash, beans and peas. I just this week
planted a second round of peas and beans, so I should have them to eat for more
than a couple of weeks. I’ve already harvested enough spinach and lettuce for
three salads and it will soon be time to harvest again. I cannot wait for the
tomatoes to begin putting forth fruit and ripening. I have serious hopes that
my crop this year will be far better than that of last year.
As
far as flowers go, all my dahlias came up way too soon, so my plan to dig,
separate and replant this spring didn’t happen. But I have managed to get out
there and snip out the center of the majority of the stalks so there will be
more dahlias per stalk. I also took my three pots of hanging fuchsias apart and
replanted them into five pots. They’re doing nicely and hopefully will begin
blooming by July. Unfortunately, my lilies are already beginning to bloom. It’s
just the red ones, so I hope the others will wait a few more weeks to explode.
Haley
and I loaded the aluminum boat on to her truck and she hauled it out to Thor.
The following week, she cleaned up the chicken yard, chicken house and we moved
the wire fence back on to my property so the behind neighbor is happy once
again. I also finally sold the brand-new boat seats John had in storage. They
didn’t go for the original price, but for two-thirds less, but I’m still happy
they’re off to be installed on someone else’s boat. More garage space.
My
social life has also improved since almost everyone I know has been vaccinated.
It’s so pleasurable to be able to hug and be hugged back. So far, I’ve had
lunch out maybe five times. There’s still social distancing and if possible, we’ve
elected to eat outside if seating it is available. I’ve also gone and picked up
my granddaughter Arayli and taken her for sushi. Sprouts Market in Lynnwood has
$5 sushi on Wednesday. I couldn’t believe Arayli ate two entire trays, but she
does love the stuff as long as it doesn’t have any fish in it. Me, I like
the fish. This coming Friday, I’m going to pick up Xander and we’re going for
pizza and then to a park or the beach. It’s extremely nice and fun to be able
to have them back in my life on a regular basis. I’m looking forward to more summer
joy with the both of them.
I’ve also decided I need to push back
my “gin time” to later in the evening. I can get so much more done outside in
the late afternoon rather than having a drink, deciding I’m a bit too tired to
continue and move to the couch and the book I’m reading or television.
I have additional plans for later in the year once I find that handyman I mentioned above. The cover on the deck must be replaced and this time with opaque roofing to keep the sun out. None of my plans at this point in time include travelling either near or far. I was so excited last year to take that cruise and had made tentative plans for additional travel, however, the pandemic pretty much took care of those plans.
I don’t know what it was
about the pandemic, but I’m not as excited to get in my car or on a plane and
go someplace else. I don’t know if being so ill in December has made me
extremely age-aware, but I no longer feel like the woman I was before, capable
of going and doing absolutely anything I chose. Maybe my little pandemic rut
has become so comfortable I can’t imagine anything else. I do go on line and
look at various destinations, but then it all seems as though it would take so
much effort to make it happen. Perhaps as the weeks or months pass and the
reality of actual normal returns I’ll begin to feel differently.
In another nine days, John’s
79th birthday will arrive. I wish he were here so I could have a huge
family gathering with his favorite foods and cake or pie. I’ll miss doing that
and sitting around listening to the entire family talk about past events,
jokes, and fun as well as sharing lots of laughter. I find I do miss him A LOT.
I have almost 55 years of memories of our
life together and the majority of them bring a smile to my face. Somehow, over
the last year, the anger and disappointment I held for both of us has dissipated
and I am seriously thankful for that. I prefer remembering the laughter,
closeness, and how we shared so much good during those years.
A neighbor woman told me
years ago that no matter how much her deceased husband had driven her crazy the
last 20 years he was alive, she’d give just about anything to have him sitting
across from her at the breakfast table. I didn’t “get it” at the time, but I
certainly get it now. Her husband’s been gone for way more than 20 years now,
so I’m going to have to tell her first that I now understand as well as ask if
she’d still love to have him back with her for breakfast.
So, I think that more or less brings you up-to-date with regard to my life. Today, while I so didn't want to, I forced myself to exercise, go to fitness class, have lunch with a friend and write this. I think all this was a good for me. I no longer feel morose, but pleased with myself and encouraged about what I’ve accomplished and what’s waiting for me to accomplish. And, yes, Under Construction will definitely be back SOON.