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Recently I was thinking about how envious I become in certain situations. This led me to think about and look up the seven deadly sins. To my surprise, I think I have been guilty of each and every one at some point or another in my life. Does that mean I’m going to hell, if there is a hell?
What led me to
being recently envious was car trips a few of my friends have taken with their
husbands. There was one that lasted for days and included their doggies and
multiple states. I looked at the photos on Facebook and my eyes, I’m sure,
became grass green. I envied their coupleness and their travels together.
Now, that
doesn’t mean I can’t take a road trip. Kuma would be great company except when
the time would come for us to get out of the car…and maybe even times in the
car. Kuma simply cannot stand the sight of another dog when he’s in the car or
on a leash. I’m seriously thinking about having the woman who did the training
classes work with him one-on-one because I don’t seem to be very successful in eliminating
this behavior even though I actually resorted to a (lots of guilt and feeling
bad here) shock collar.
Anyway, I
digress. The fact is there is nothing that is keeping me from hitting the road
with or without Kuma. I know other women who travel alone and seem to enjoy
their trips. I also have traveled alone, but at the end of the day, or
sometimes even during the day, it would bring me such joy to share with a
companion. What it boils down to is whether or not my desire to get moving is
great enough to make me move.
Now, lust is
another of those seven sins and I must admit I have suffered from/with that at
times in my life…but not recently. Still, I have great memories of those
lustful occasions and the great enjoyment they were able to bring to my mind
and body. I don’t think there’s a single lustful memory I wouldn’t be happy,
nay eager, to repeat just once more.
Pride is
another sin I’ve held on to for most of my life. I don’t think I’ve allowed it
to interfere with whatever was or is going on in my life. I’m sure if you’re
reading these blogs, you may think I suffer from being proudful and I admit
that I am when it comes to things like my garden, dog, and ability to live my
life alone. There are many other events and occasions in which I’ve taken or do
take pride in, i.e., career, long marriage, home, children, grandchildren, me,
myself and I. These were not typed in the order of importance, but merely as
they popped into my fingers. I think my marriage and my children/grandchildren
would top the list when it comes to importance.
I don’t think I’ve ever suffered
from gluttony, greed or sloth. I cannot think of any instances where I would
have committed these sins, at least not in a major way or for a very long
period of time.
The final sin is wrath and I
admit to having sinned. There have been times in my life where my rage has
known no bounds. I could have and would have easily killed off the person(s) at
whom my ire was directed. The only thing that stopped me from permanently
eradicating this/these people was prison. Instead, I did the only thing
available which was to jettison them from my life. Fortunately, as I grew more
mature (older), I came to the realization that becoming this upset and/or
hanging on to the resentment was only hurting me, myself and I. At this point
in time, and for a number of years now, I’ve been able to think about the
recipients of my rage and feel peaceful as opposed to annoyed.
So, am I destined for hell? I really don’t know because first I’m not
sure actually is a hell; and if there is, I tend to wonder how many of my
family and friends would greet me on arrival.