COMING TO TERMS WITH ANGINA???

 

          I haven’t blogged recently because I’ve been attempting to come to terms with the latest curve ball my body has thrown at me…seriously, do they ever stop coming once you reach a certain age. In any case, I haven’t felt like blogging because most of what I’d blog about would be more negative than positive and I hate negativity so why share.

          In any case, I still am having trouble understanding how my body could go from being what I considered normal to having a heart that decides it’s not getting enough blood so has to cause angina. It seems like there should have been some sort of warm up to the whole thing. You know, kind of like you exercise and your muscle is sore until you exercise some more. Well, this angina thing just came out of left field (what’s with these baseball references…I don’t even like baseball) and surprised the shit out of me…not literally, but close.

          I’ve been keeping track of the “episodes,” since I guess that’s what you call them, and think perhaps bending over may be a trigger. That or I need to concentrate on my breathing when I’m brushing Kuma. I guess I also need to concentrate on moving at a slower pace than what I’m used to because if I move quickly as I’ve always done, it leads to an episode.

          On the other hand, I go to my fitness class and bounce around for the first thirty minutes, i.e., the aerobic portion, and my heart rate goes up to 120+ and there’s no episode whatsoever. What’s with that? Wouldn’t it seem that if I have an episode from walking fast, I’d have an episode when my heart rate is high? I just don’t understand.

          I’ve had my first phone call with the cardiology nurse who’s going to shepherd me through the next twelve weeks. She’s sent me information via email as well as a booklet entitled, “Home Based Cardiac Rehab.” In talking with her and reading the information in the booklet, I’ve come to the conclusion that I was already doing pretty much everything that’s being recommended with the exception of a few things. The first is I use 2% milk in my lattes and cereal…recommendation is nonfat. The second is I eat a lot of cheese…recommendation is NONE. The third is my alcohol consumption…recommendation is NONE. I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to change a single one of these…my only remaining pleasure is eating and drinking. The booklet also indicates I need to eat more vegetables and fruit. This I can do.

          AJ has also been very supportive since he’s suffered with angina for a number of years. He brought me a booklet entitled, “Get Tough on Angina.” It’s supposed to be my guide to understanding and taking control of my angina, and there was some new information I didn’t know, but I’m still confused as to why. For instance, yesterday I worked in the garden most of the morning. Sitting, leaning, standing, leaning and not a single symptom. Stopped, ate lunch and went back to gardening. Resumed sitting, leaning and reaching for those damned weeds and bang, an episode. AJ told me eating sends blood to my tummy which sends less to my heart.    

I have to admit this whole angina thing is a bit scary. Fear doesn’t bother me during the day, but at night when I’m in bed with just Kuma, the fears do rise and cause anxiety. Living alone at times like these makes the scary even scarier. It’s not like I couldn’t call 911 if I needed to because I certainly could. I guess it’s knowing that it’s just me, myself and I (Kuma couldn’t do much) were there to be a problem. It makes the loneliness even lonelier.

The next cardiac RN appointment is Tuesday and will send her the records I’ve been keeping on Monday. Perhaps she’ll have additional information that will be of benefit. Then, I see the cardiologist the following Tuesday and will get my fasting blood work done the Monday before.

Still, it could be worse, a lot worse, so it’s best I choose to be thankful for better living through chemistry, a good health program and the love and support of family and friends.