THANKSGIVING

 

        Ever since I sent the family email about the holiday plans, I’ve been thinking about holidays past. This year’s and years post-covid have seen a vast difference in how we get together for the holidays now as opposed to years prior. I’ve enjoyed looking back at all those previous times, but it also saddens me when I think of the present.

As a kid, and, okay, I know that was back in the dark ages, the holidays were always full of family. Aunts and uncles, cousins, you might not have seen since summer, or even since the last holidays, even some neighbors would all gather together at someone’s house for turkey and all the trimmings.

I’m sure at the time of these various events, depending on my age, I simply wanted them to all go home or for my family to go home. There was always lots of drinking and socializing. Sometimes if the gathering went a bit too long, there was also arguing as a result of too much tippling, mainly by the great aunts and uncles. Still, I have warm memories of being hugged, being asked about school, social life or whatever else had been happening in my own little life.

This changed over time as the greats passed on, especially the one special great who always did the planning. The gatherings got smaller but they often still included people I didn’t see on a regular basis. 

The next big change came when John and I became parents. We decided we didn’t want to gather up our son, pull him away from all the new toys Santa had brought and go to someone else’s house. Initially, we just Christmas, but when my parents downsized, we became the Thanksgiving hosts as well.

Those Thanksgivings were full of people as well because we included not only family, but friends and their families. At one time, I remember seating twenty-two or twenty-four around the table. I could go back and look at the photos…we always took a photo after dinner…to determine just how many. Oh my, but how the memories of the faces that no longer inhabit my life remain in my mind as they were then. It also makes me wonder what they look like now.

This was a lot of hard work, but all attendees brought something to contribute to the bounty on the table. There was lots of comradery, laughter, memory sharing, and great food. These little gatherings usually began late afternoon and carried on into the evening, or at least until it was time for the little ones to be home and in bed. 

It makes me happy to look back at these times and dredge up the various memories brought to the forefront of my mind. It also makes me sad because so many of the folks who gathered around my table are no longer part of my life. Some have, of course, passed on, but others with whom I/we were friends have disappeared into the mists of time. I wonder if they’re still alive and whether they think about those Thanksgivings as they make whatever holiday plans they have these days.

I wonder, too, if their gatherings have become as small as the one I will host this year, if some of their family members will be absent, and whether or not they, too, look back and remember our splendid times together. And, perhaps, maybe, like me, miss those times as well.