It’s been so long since I posted anything to my blog, I had to look back to see what I said the last time. Could not believe that post was dated 7/5/21…that’s three months today provided I get this posted. Wish I could report I’ve been travelling the world or lazing about eating chocolates, reading books and watching movies, but, nope…well, except for reading and watching Yellowstone. This is likely to be a looooooooong report.
I began the last report talking about my health. Well, it’s improved somewhat and I learned the recurrent shingles diagnosis was wrong, wrong, wrong. The red marks and itching returned in July and one afternoon, I was so miserable I called Kaiser and told them I wanted someone to look at them in person and I didn’t care if it was the devil in hell. I got an appointment the next day and that MD (not my PCP) told me unequivocally it was not shingles. What’s interesting is that my body’s inflammation level was high according to the blood test that MD ordered. So, there may be a correlation between the itching and the inflammation and most like due to some form of allergy. The allergy quite possibly may be to the nightshade family, tomatoes in particular. I ate a whole bunch two nights in a row this week and have been trying not to scratch myself raw since. I LOVE tomatoes, especially the ones I grow myself.
Of course, at my age, there’s always something new with the body that demands attention. I knew I had carpel tunnel in my left wrist (surgery on right in 1989), and have been damning the L&I MD who convinced me to not have the surgery on my left about 15 years ago. I made an appointment to see my MD in October to talk about surgery because the numbness and pain were increasing, even with wearing a brace. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I spent over two hours on the freeway which was the longest time I’d spent behind the wheel of a car since early 2020. I did wear my brace and didn’t think anything of the time I spent holding the steering wheel. Early the next morning, I woke feeling as though I held a grapefruit-sized ball of fire in my left hand. Long story short is the Consulting RN moved up my MD appointment and I now have a date for an EMG test and a consultation, both in November. I’ll most likely have surgery in December or January. Meanwhile, my middle finger is pretty much numb with first finger and thumb running a close second. And, even though they are “numb,” they all feel as though they are electrified.
Meanwhile, through all this I’ve continued to walk and go to my fitness classes and seem to be getting stronger although there are some days when that doesn’t seem true. I saw a physical therapist and learned that my right shoulder pain was mainly due to my sleeping position…on my tummy with my arm up above my head. I couldn’t believe how much better it felt the first morning I kept my arm down, but it’s still a struggle to keep it down. And, like my MD, the physical therapist encouraged me to remain as active as possible.
Not long after I wrote the above, I received a call about the mammogram I had last week…they wanted me to return. I spent almost 24 hours totally terrified because it brought the year 2000 back full bore and my experience then was what I went through again except this time the radiologist came in and said, “Everything’s just fine.”, rather than “We want to do a biopsy. Part of the terror, okay a huge part of the terror was facing the fact that if the diagnosis came back as breast cancer, this time I wouldn’t have anyone who would hold my hand for each and every MD appointment, chemo treatment, etc. This time I would have to do it alone which led me to think about how absolutely wonderful John was during that time and how alone I’m going to be no matter what the future brings with regard to health problems. Still, I’m feeling pretty good about my boob being just fine.
And, my final health/body whine is that I’ve gained weight. It’s between six and ten pounds and that’s not a lot, but it’s all around my middle. I can barely button some of my jeans. Time to give in and just wear sweats or whatever has an elastic waist.
After all this, you know what? I think I’m just about ready to give up all physical activity and become a couch/bed potato. There’s really been no big reward for all the toil and sweat so far. I feel a lot like Sisyphus rolling the rock up the hill day after day. Doesn’t there come a time when you just leave the rock where it is and use it as a chair or pillow??? Anyway, enough whining…on to better stories (I hope).
My five fuchsia pots have outdone themselves with growth and blossoms. They are gorgeous and I forgot I had different ones, but I like the combinations I made without realizing what I was doing. I’m going to hate cutting them back and storing them away, but they should do well again next year.
My dahlias did not do well this year. I have one plant that barely flowered. It’s probably because they need to be dug up and divided. I’m planning to dig them all up, divide and store them in the garage. I don’t think the garage freezes and I’ll winter them in boxes filled with paper shreds…cross your fingers and let me know if you want any tubers. I’m bound to have a lot.
Claudia gave me a whole bunch of zinnia starts and I didn’t plant them immediately, so they were all rooted together. I pulled them apart and planted them in various places and they did absolutely wonderful. I’ve never had such luck with zinnias before and think I could plant them in every single location in the garden and not be disappointed. Now trying to collect zinnia seeds which I plan to mix with cosmos and poppy seeds and sprinkle all over the place. If they all come up in the spring, it should be glorious.
Since I’m staying here, I went ahead and ordered some bulbs from Michigan Bulb. I don’t remember now what I ordered, but I’ll add them to what I’ve already established when they arrive.
The really hot weather in June fried a lot of the tomato blossoms, but they finally began to produce tomatoes. I’m not too fond of the big yellow heritage ones because they seem to have very little taste. That plant produced a lot of largish tomatoes but they just weren’t very tasty. The chocolate cherry tomatoes finally began to produce and neighbors and family members were recipients of the surplus. I also had red cherry tomatoes, but they didn’t do well and were small but tasty. The yellow small pear tomatoes were fairly tasteless as well. Peas and beans didn’t survive the hundred-degree temps. Pumpkin plants were a bust, but zucchini and delicata squash produced. Also had some home-grown lettuce and may still get another serving depending on the weather.
There’s lots of fall work waiting in the garden and I’m not looking forward to it, especially as my best helper, Haley, has gone east to school. I’ll just have to do what I can when I can. Of course, I strongly wish I’d been able to find something smaller without much of a yard and move, but oh well, it is what it is.
By now, you probably figure I’ve updated the marital bedroom and moved in. Well, you’ve figured wrong. I found and bought a duvet cover I loved and took one of the pillow shams to Home Depot and purchased two colors…a sort of silvery gray and a lightish purple. As of today, I’ve painted the ceiling and walls the gray, but haven’t returned to paint the purple wall nor have I painted the closet doors. This was, of course, before my left wrist started acting up. I’m hoping to finish by the end of this month, but if you’ve stuck with my updates, you know that can change practically overnight.
What’s really holding me up now is there is no rush to finish because the bedroom furniture I went out and ordered won’t reach the warehouse until 11/27 and who knows how soon they’ll deliver and set up in my room. I also ordered a mattress which could have been delivered immediately, but they’re holding it until the furniture arrives. Now I need to order bed linen as well as window coverings. Spend, spend, spend...that's me.
I believe I wrote about ordering new glass for the windows where the seal had failed and the fact, I was told the current frame for the huge front window might not keep the glass from falling out. So, a new frame was ordered some time the beginning of June. I finally followed up the middle of August and was told the frame is due to be delivered on 12/11.
The side shed didn’t get removed during the summer because everyone’s schedules couldn’t be matched up. It’s fine and I’ll hire someone to do it after the first of the year. That’s also when I’ll get bids and hire (maybe the same person) to replace the deck roof. So, I’m moving, although very slowly, on getting stuff done around here.
Besides seeing Haley about once a week when she came to help me out, I also got to spend time with Arayli and Xander this summer. Now that school’s started, I’m not going to see them as often, but they say it’s not the frequency but the quality of time I’ll spend with them that counts. I’ve promised them both something absolutely wonderful in January if their report cards are outstanding as well. Between now and then I’ll give them gentle reminders about how great it is to learn and receive good grades. Also, between now and then, I’ll be looking for something wonderful to give each of them, i.e., some kind of experiences that a 13-year-old girl and a 7-year-old boy would be totally blown away by. Suggestions extremely welcome.
My weekly visits with Haley have come to a halt. She left for Wyoming and school and won’t be home until Christmas and then for only a week. I’m so thankful for cell phones, my I-pad and her I-phone because I’ll be reaching out at least once a week to see how she’s doing. Plus, her birthday is next month and it will be the first one since the day I saw her come into the world that I won’t be able to give her a birthday spanking, hug and kiss. Still, I’m very proud of her drive and initiative and know whatever the future might bring her, it’s going to be rock solid.
Speaking of spending money, my puppy Kaizer has developed a horrible cough.
Aside from the cough, he's eating well, doesn't have a temperature an seems just fine otherwise. I thought it was kennel cough, but where he could have gotten it, I have no idea. I checked in with the groomer because it started the day after he was there. Even so, it takes 5-7 days for it to appear, so it couldn't have been that. When we talked, she told me that for some small dogs, coughing can be a sign of a heart problem. I ordered some cough medicine and if it isn't better in another day, I'll be making an appointment with the vet and you know just how expensive those can be, especially if they have to do a lot of tests.
Of course, while you’ve enjoyed the hell out of this missive, I know you’re wondering when I’m going to begin writing again and posting chapters on a daily basis. I have to say I don’t know. I’ve updated and finalized SHE as well as written a submission letter. Now all I have to do is send them off to an agent. Meanwhile, when I can I need to finalize and update WATER RIGHTS and UNDER CONSTRUCTION so they can be sent out into the world as well.
I have written one chapter of a book that might be called Merciless (thank you Claudia for the M word) Madeleine and have kind of outlined a few additional chapters. As the weather brings us more gray and wet, I’ll have and/or take the time to sit here at the computer and write more. It’s something I really do enjoy and something that makes me feel good.
Finally, as I posted in Facebook on the anniversary of Joh’s death and our wedding anniversary, enough time has passed the anger I felt has dissipated and the good memories surfaced. In fact, just recently, I’ll be driving and see something that makes me think of him and my entire body feels a huge pang of loss. Or, I’m busy around here, see something, hear a song, watch something on TV and the same thing happens. While I’m grateful for the good memories, those pangs bring a moment of sadness that he’s not here so we can make more memories together like that. I also have come to believe that he’d be proud of me for how I’ve moved on and ahead with my life, the pets, house and garden. Still, I think I miss him more with each day that passes than I did initially. It is very lonely. Those of you who still have a partner, please cherish your time together.
Okay, that’s pretty much it for this missive. I’ll try to do better with regard to writing something new and posting for your reading pleasure. Meanwhile, y’all take care, get your vaccinations, wear your masks, be positive and upbeat as well as careful when you venture out into the world.
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