CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

 

I know I’m not the only one that is sad today because we cannot be with our loved ones enjoying a wonderful meal, watching the kids and grandkids open their gifts and exclaim in delight. I also know I’m not the only one that is going to miss the comradery, hugs and kisses and the sharing of Christmases past. But rather than actually be nothing but sad, I thought I’d post some memories from the 55 years of Christmases I shared with John and our extended families.

We didn’t have Christmas stockings in my family, but John had them in his, so our first, maybe second Christmas, I made stockings for my mom and dad, sister and brother, John, myself and our cat and dog. They were all hand-made, no machine work involved. I have no idea what happened to those I made for my family, but mine and John’s reside in the attic in the Christmas stuff that did not come down. This will be the first year since they were created, they do not hang above the fireplace.

When AJ came along, I made him a stocking. It has a snowman on it and I had to take an emergency knitting lesson from the lady next door so I could make the scarf that went around Frosty’s neck. AJ still has his stocking and hangs it up every year. He was very careful with his stocking and it doesn’t show too much wear and tear.

When Thor was born, I made him a stocking and it has a Santa on it. I’m not sure if he hangs it up every year or not…I’ll have to ask him. Thor was not as careful with his stocking, so I had to repair it a number of times and stretch it back into shape when it was returned to the stocking box after Christmas.

Fang the Wonder Dog also had his own stocking as did the dogs that followed; however, I think along about Midnite or Mia, I began to cheat and would pick out the name and sew in the current animal’s name. Poor Karma and Kaizer have never had stockings and I’m sure they feel terribly slighted. Fang’s stocking was buried with him under the apple tree.

Our various cats also had stockings, but again, I believe I began to cheat and picked out the name of the previous owner in order to replace it with the current cat. I’m not sure if the one in the stocking box in the attic says Zooey or not.

I believe it was the first Christmas after we moved into this house that our best friends Patty Lou and Mike gave us a camera for Christmas. It was beautifully wrapped with a big hot pink sticky bow on top. We opened it Christmas Eve before we got ready for bed. John got in bed first while I was brushing my teeth. When I went into the bedroom, he had adopted a sexy pose and the hot pink bow was on the end of his Johnson…”Merry Christmas honey…here’s your gift.”

What a very nice, fun, exciting and thoughtful gift, however, when I pulled the bow off his Johnson, the bow also removed a layer or two of skin. I didn’t actually get my Christmas “gift” until a few days after. We laughed about “my gift” for years and years.

When John worked for Nordstrom, he had to work Christmas Eve in order to haul out all the Christmas decorations so they’d be ready for a big sale day on the 26^th. For a few years, we didn’t have to buy a tree, but had a very nice and usually very different tree courtesy of Nordstrom.

AJ had probably just turned year a few months prior to this Christmas. I bought my sister a blanket and couldn’t find a box large enough, so I simply wrapped it in paper and put it under the tree. I don’t know what fascinated AJ about that gift so much, but he pulled it out and ripped the paper off…not just once, but every single time I re-wrapped it until I just put it up until I could wrap it and know it would stay wrapped.

My parents moved to Lynnwood from Chehalis when AJ was going on two I think. We inherited their china cabinet (which is in AJ’s house now) and table which had three leaves. That was the year I said I would host Christmas dinner because I didn’t want AJ to have to leave his Santa toys. For years, we hosted dinner on Christmas day, and at one point I think we managed to get about 23 of us around the two tables we put together in an “L” shape.

And, every year, we would take photos of all of us in a group in the living room as well as photos of just the immediate family. As AJ married and then Thor, the number in the immediate family increased as well. It’s been a few years since we stopped that tradition. One of the last family photos was actually taken after Christmas and has the five of us (John, moi, AJ, Angie and Thor) in front of the fireplace. We’re all holding a poinsettia and I’m in the middle of the group, surrounded by all these tall people. I love looking back and seeing the photos of all the family and friends who so enriched our lives and our Christmases.

We also liked to have our trees flocked and John’s sister would come out and flock the tree for us. One year we had to do it on our own and that led to hysterical laughter. You use the exhaust end of a vacuum cleaner, somehow attached to the bag of white stuff. AJ was supposed to have been in bed, but he was in his bedroom window watching John and I in the open garage. I don’t know to this day what it was we did wrong, but one of those bags exploded and flocked the two of us as well as our surroundings. It was pretty funny.

When AJ was young and continuing through Thor’s Santa years, I would paint a Santa head on the dining room window that faced the street. Santa was saying, “Ho Ho Ho.” I didn’t do too bad of a job and I think one neighbor still wishes I’d kept doing it. I don’t remember if it was the last time or not, but Thor was a baby and I was rushing to get it done during his nap. I finished and didn’t think anything about it until my friend and neighbor laughingly pointed out that Santa was saying, “Oh Oh Oh” from the street. At a Chocolate and Canvas event with my grandkids, the painting I did was that Santa head saying, “Oh Oh Oh” and I gave it to my friend for Christmas. I don’t know if he hangs it up every year, but it brought us some laughter which is always good.

Then there was the year when Thor was maybe four years old. I was having great difficulty with depression and other things in my life. Thor and I went out in the pouring rain to find a tree and had no luck. Back home, without even taking off my coat or attending to Thor, I called John at his work site and proceeded to yell and scream like a banshee (The real me was standing in the corner wondering why in the hell I was being such a bitch.). John couldn’t do or say anything because the lady he was working for was home. That evening when he arrived home, he told AJ to watch his brother, told me to get in the truck and took me to Chubby and Tubby. There, he said, “Pick one.” I did.

On the way home, I apologized profusely for my horrible behavior and explained that I simply didn’t understand why I acted that way some times. I also made John promise that if he had to have me locked up, he’d bring the boys to see me once a week so they wouldn’t forget their mom. The answer to my problem came three months later when my new doctor listened to what I had to say, ran a blood test and verified that I was menopausal. The hormone replacement therapy she put me on made all our lives, but especially mine, ever so much better.

For years, John was also very good about putting a little something naughty in my stocking. After the first time, I learned to quickly stuff that little something in between the couch cushions for later retrieval or into my bathrobe pocket. The one that comes instantly to mind is a little china pipe that looked exactly like a penis. I really didn’t want to explain to the boys the purpose of this little gift or the others that tended to bring pleasure to us both.

I don’t really remember when we began to host Christmas Eve, having the kids and grandkids here for dinner and present opening. Just a couple of years ago, it snowed during the evening, so their getting home in time for Santa to come became problematic. Fortunately, a friend with a four-wheel drive was happy to come, pick them up at the bottom of the hill and deliver them to their houses. Santa arrived that night just as scheduled. I cannot now remember if I hosted Christmas Eve alone last year…apparently my memory bank isn’t providing any withdrawals today.

Cannot forget the Christmas cards and newsletters. I wish I’d begun doing a newsletter the year John and I married because once I began them, they are a small synopsis of what happened during the year. I reread them and remember so many things that I don’t necessarily often think about. John was a great one when it came to Christmas cards. He kept the list of people who were sent a newsletter and those who received a card. As we received Christmas cards or newsletters, he’d mark those senders off. The last few years, he became a bit grinchy, saying, “We didn’t get one from them, so we’re not sending them one this year.” Depending on who it was he’d decided to ignore, I’d either go along or surreptitiously send out a card. John was also responsible for the card display. He strung fishing line across the dining room and as the cards arrived and were checked off, he’d hang them from the line. Some years, I’d have to get cranky to get him to take them down more than a month later. I always thought he tossed them, but when I went through all his papers, I found a number of years-worth of cards he’d saved.

Then, of course, come the holidays where your kids no longer reside with you. You get up in the mornings and the house seemed so empty with just me and John. But, later, as we went to our child’s home(s), I would take great pleasure in seeing the ornaments, collected and given each year as they grew, hanging on their own tree. I also take pleasure in watching them and their spouses prepare and host the brunch or dinner or dessert. It always makes me feel warm and happy to see our kids and their families continue traditions originally initiated when they were much younger.

So, just happy/good memories here today. Of course, I’ll add this Christmas Eve when I received the best gift ever which was being released from the hospital, and this Christmas Day when I'll my own Swedish pancakes for brunch, mainly because it will be just me, myself and I here with Karma and Kaizer. Christmas will last a bit longer this year as well because I didn't get my gifts prepared for distribution. That will happen over the weekend. But that’s okay. Christmas 2020 won't become one of my most cherished memories, but I’m sure like the hot pink bow, the naughty stocking gifts, tree flock, it will be remembered and while maybe not laughed about, at least acknowledged because we all made it through the worst year in history. We'll have great plans for Christmas 2021 where there will be lots of presents, hugs, kisses, laughter, good food and best of all, being together in the very same space.