BUSY AND SAD

 

         Sorry I didn’t get a SHE installment ready for today. I wasn’t feeling especially creative. It’s hard to be creative when you’re feeling sad and lonely and watch parts of your life go away. And, okay, this has been the goal for months now, but I’m finding it’s still hard to say farewell.

Saturday morning, AJ, Thor and Haley all arrived at the house. Haley and I drove (well, just Haley drove) AJ’s truck full of recyclables out to Kenmore for the recycle event Kenmore and LFP were having today. We eliminated about seven old tires, a huge television set, an old and very heavy laptop, the spare tonneau cover from the Silverado and its side rails (why on earth John brought that back home when he got a new one, I have no idea), and some other electronic stuff.

When we got back, AJ and Thor were hard at work removing crap from the north side of the house. So much rotten wood I’m surprised I don’t have carpenter ants. Other pieces of wood, some good and some bad. The pieces of good wood, Thor took home with him. AJ piled all the other wood and nasty stuff in his truck for a dump trip. There were also probably a dozen huge cardboard boxes that had been stacked up flat. Amazingly, they weren’t wet and Haley cut them up. They’re now leaning against the telephone pole at the end of the driveway ready for the recycle truck on Monday.

Originally, I’d planned to pay Haley to drive Thor’s stuff in her truck to his house, but amazingly, he got everything including some stuff he wanted I’d designated for Goodwill into his van. As I’ve said before, I’m not good with sizes that involve square feet, inches, yards, cubic area or whatever. I really have to have a ruler or tape measure to figure out just how big an item actually is.

Then, the boys (somehow I cannot call them men even though they are 50 and 40), went into John’s room and sorted through a huge box of ammunition. Each one took half of what was there. They’re also going to come back and each take an empty gun safe to their own homes.

On the lighter side of things, it is always so enjoyable to watch my two boys and granddaughter in action. They laugh and joke and talk about the various pieces of stuff they’re dealing with. Sometimes they curse their father when they come across something that really should have been dealt with in a better way…like the ground wire to the electric panel John had installed a few years ago.

I enjoy listening to them and adding my own thoughts and ideas when appropriate. This morning I apologized I guess one too many times because AJ got upset with me and kinda yelled. He told me I had nothing to be sorry for that we’re all dealing with dad’s shit and to stop saying sorry. So, even though I hate having all of them spend their off hours helping me deal with this crap, I guess I won’t be saying sorry…at least aloud…in the future.

Today, I did tell them that when I leave this house for my new one that they will not have to move anything for me. If all goes as well as I’m hoping it will, I’ll walk out the front door and everything I’m taking with me will fit in my Rav4. While I’m not SHE, I am planning and hoping that once I find that particular piece of property and have a very small house erected, I can purchase all new furnishings and anything else I’ll need to make it MY home.

Then, an extra special treat after they all left. AJ’s friend Andrew, my third son, came by to pick up the vinyl I’d missed the last time he was here. He had a latte and stayed to chat for a while. Andrew has a great sense of humor and we spent probably an hour or more talking and laughing about their exploits when they were in school as well as a variety of other things. Then, he went through the boxes of vinyl and was really happy with what he found there. I think it was the original vinyl of HAIR he said would remain in the store and not be sold.

It was very bittersweet going through those record albums with Andrew. They were the ones we kept in our electronic tower (you know, turntable, tuner and whatever else came in those things). They were the ones we listened to the most often, but probably haven’t been played for a couple decades or more. They were all in really good shape and brought more than one great memory to the forefront. But, that’s all in the past and gone and soon, someone else will be able to purchase them and enjoy them as much as we did all those years ago.

So, that was it for my Saturday. Now, even though it’s windy, the sun is out and I should go do some gardening. But, I don’t feel like it. I feel more like curling up on the couch with my doggies and reading a book. Maybe by getting lost in someone else’s story, the sad and lonely will fade away. Besides, I am moving forward and that’s a very good thing.