CRUISING

          Okay, I’ve posted about the fun stuff ashore, so it must be time for me to post about my cruise experience. Let me just say it was LONELY. I’m not sure cruising is what this particular widow needs in her life on a more permanent basis. I did meet another widow who lost her husband four years ago. She’s been travelling and cruising every since because he hated to travel. So, she finds she doesn’t miss him the way she would if she did the kind of things they used to do together.

          According to the cruise director, the ship carried just under 2000 passengers and 1200 of them were couples. That left about 800 singles, but those singles included mothers with daughters, friends with friends, and not too very many solos. The Zuiderdam did have two events for solo guests.

          I attended the first one which was a meet up at one of the ship’s bars. There was a total of five attendees including me. Two were women from LA, travelling together and the other two were men. We all had a drink, chatted and then the two men left to attend the dance show which I’d just come from and highly recommended. The two women left to go to BB King’s Blues Bar and dance. I finished my drink and went to my room.

          The second event was a lunch for solos. The widow mentioned above attended and reported there were about 12 people there for lunch. She said she didn’t like the vibe and left as did a couple of other folks.

          During the day and on the shore excursions, I had plenty of people to talk to. Everyone was very friendly and happy to converse with me whether they were older or younger and in a relationship or not. I enjoyed those conversations and getting to know a little bit about each one, but I seldom ran into the same person or people more than that one time. There were a couple of exceptions, but that wasn’t the rule. I wasn’t particularly lonely during the daylight hours.

          It was the evening hours after going to a show, having a drink, three martinis for $12 at 6:00 pm, eating a late dinner or dessert that were most difficult and lonely. True, it wasn’t any different than being at home alone, except it was. I wanted to talk to someone about the day’s events, the food, the crazy, helpful, beautiful, kind, amusing persons I’d met. Instead, I journaled on my I-pad and kept track of what I’d done and wanted to do. That doesn’t even come close to having a live person with whom to interact.

          I did end up watching a number of movies I hadn’t seen that were in the ship’s library. That tended to take my mind off being alone, but eventually, it was time to turn everything off and get beneath the covers. Then, it would have been especially wonderful to have someone with whom to snuggle. I find it amazing how at times I can miss John so much when he drove me absolutely nuts those last years. I guess it’s just the perfect example of not knowing or appreciating what you have until it’s gone?

          At any rate, I’m not taking cruising entirely off my list. I love having my room straightened, yummy food available without lifting a finger, entertainment available at a wide variety of times. And, of course, there was the sun and the warm water, but I think cruising doesn’t give you enough of the warm water. Anyway, it’s not like I have to sign up for another one any time soon. I did bring home the cruise catalog to see if there’s something in there I’d really like. Since I went through the Three Gorges Locks in China, it might be fun to go through the Panama Canal. There were also a number of people on the ship that love Viking cruises. I’ll look into them too at some point.

          I really do wish that other widows/widowers would weigh in on what they like/liked to do on their own. I know I’d certainly appreciate some feedback.