CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

 

I know I’m not the only one that is sad today because we cannot be with our loved ones enjoying a wonderful meal, watching the kids and grandkids open their gifts and exclaim in delight. I also know I’m not the only one that is going to miss the comradery, hugs and kisses and the sharing of Christmases past. But rather than actually be nothing but sad, I thought I’d post some memories from the 55 years of Christmases I shared with John and our extended families.

We didn’t have Christmas stockings in my family, but John had them in his, so our first, maybe second Christmas, I made stockings for my mom and dad, sister and brother, John, myself and our cat and dog. They were all hand-made, no machine work involved. I have no idea what happened to those I made for my family, but mine and John’s reside in the attic in the Christmas stuff that did not come down. This will be the first year since they were created, they do not hang above the fireplace.

When AJ came along, I made him a stocking. It has a snowman on it and I had to take an emergency knitting lesson from the lady next door so I could make the scarf that went around Frosty’s neck. AJ still has his stocking and hangs it up every year. He was very careful with his stocking and it doesn’t show too much wear and tear.

When Thor was born, I made him a stocking and it has a Santa on it. I’m not sure if he hangs it up every year or not…I’ll have to ask him. Thor was not as careful with his stocking, so I had to repair it a number of times and stretch it back into shape when it was returned to the stocking box after Christmas.

Fang the Wonder Dog also had his own stocking as did the dogs that followed; however, I think along about Midnite or Mia, I began to cheat and would pick out the name and sew in the current animal’s name. Poor Karma and Kaizer have never had stockings and I’m sure they feel terribly slighted. Fang’s stocking was buried with him under the apple tree.

Our various cats also had stockings, but again, I believe I began to cheat and picked out the name of the previous owner in order to replace it with the current cat. I’m not sure if the one in the stocking box in the attic says Zooey or not.

I believe it was the first Christmas after we moved into this house that our best friends Patty Lou and Mike gave us a camera for Christmas. It was beautifully wrapped with a big hot pink sticky bow on top. We opened it Christmas Eve before we got ready for bed. John got in bed first while I was brushing my teeth. When I went into the bedroom, he had adopted a sexy pose and the hot pink bow was on the end of his Johnson…”Merry Christmas honey…here’s your gift.”

What a very nice, fun, exciting and thoughtful gift, however, when I pulled the bow off his Johnson, the bow also removed a layer or two of skin. I didn’t actually get my Christmas “gift” until a few days after. We laughed about “my gift” for years and years.

When John worked for Nordstrom, he had to work Christmas Eve in order to haul out all the Christmas decorations so they’d be ready for a big sale day on the 26^th. For a few years, we didn’t have to buy a tree, but had a very nice and usually very different tree courtesy of Nordstrom.

AJ had probably just turned year a few months prior to this Christmas. I bought my sister a blanket and couldn’t find a box large enough, so I simply wrapped it in paper and put it under the tree. I don’t know what fascinated AJ about that gift so much, but he pulled it out and ripped the paper off…not just once, but every single time I re-wrapped it until I just put it up until I could wrap it and know it would stay wrapped.

My parents moved to Lynnwood from Chehalis when AJ was going on two I think. We inherited their china cabinet (which is in AJ’s house now) and table which had three leaves. That was the year I said I would host Christmas dinner because I didn’t want AJ to have to leave his Santa toys. For years, we hosted dinner on Christmas day, and at one point I think we managed to get about 23 of us around the two tables we put together in an “L” shape.

And, every year, we would take photos of all of us in a group in the living room as well as photos of just the immediate family. As AJ married and then Thor, the number in the immediate family increased as well. It’s been a few years since we stopped that tradition. One of the last family photos was actually taken after Christmas and has the five of us (John, moi, AJ, Angie and Thor) in front of the fireplace. We’re all holding a poinsettia and I’m in the middle of the group, surrounded by all these tall people. I love looking back and seeing the photos of all the family and friends who so enriched our lives and our Christmases.

We also liked to have our trees flocked and John’s sister would come out and flock the tree for us. One year we had to do it on our own and that led to hysterical laughter. You use the exhaust end of a vacuum cleaner, somehow attached to the bag of white stuff. AJ was supposed to have been in bed, but he was in his bedroom window watching John and I in the open garage. I don’t know to this day what it was we did wrong, but one of those bags exploded and flocked the two of us as well as our surroundings. It was pretty funny.

When AJ was young and continuing through Thor’s Santa years, I would paint a Santa head on the dining room window that faced the street. Santa was saying, “Ho Ho Ho.” I didn’t do too bad of a job and I think one neighbor still wishes I’d kept doing it. I don’t remember if it was the last time or not, but Thor was a baby and I was rushing to get it done during his nap. I finished and didn’t think anything about it until my friend and neighbor laughingly pointed out that Santa was saying, “Oh Oh Oh” from the street. At a Chocolate and Canvas event with my grandkids, the painting I did was that Santa head saying, “Oh Oh Oh” and I gave it to my friend for Christmas. I don’t know if he hangs it up every year, but it brought us some laughter which is always good.

Then there was the year when Thor was maybe four years old. I was having great difficulty with depression and other things in my life. Thor and I went out in the pouring rain to find a tree and had no luck. Back home, without even taking off my coat or attending to Thor, I called John at his work site and proceeded to yell and scream like a banshee (The real me was standing in the corner wondering why in the hell I was being such a bitch.). John couldn’t do or say anything because the lady he was working for was home. That evening when he arrived home, he told AJ to watch his brother, told me to get in the truck and took me to Chubby and Tubby. There, he said, “Pick one.” I did.

On the way home, I apologized profusely for my horrible behavior and explained that I simply didn’t understand why I acted that way some times. I also made John promise that if he had to have me locked up, he’d bring the boys to see me once a week so they wouldn’t forget their mom. The answer to my problem came three months later when my new doctor listened to what I had to say, ran a blood test and verified that I was menopausal. The hormone replacement therapy she put me on made all our lives, but especially mine, ever so much better.

For years, John was also very good about putting a little something naughty in my stocking. After the first time, I learned to quickly stuff that little something in between the couch cushions for later retrieval or into my bathrobe pocket. The one that comes instantly to mind is a little china pipe that looked exactly like a penis. I really didn’t want to explain to the boys the purpose of this little gift or the others that tended to bring pleasure to us both.

I don’t really remember when we began to host Christmas Eve, having the kids and grandkids here for dinner and present opening. Just a couple of years ago, it snowed during the evening, so their getting home in time for Santa to come became problematic. Fortunately, a friend with a four-wheel drive was happy to come, pick them up at the bottom of the hill and deliver them to their houses. Santa arrived that night just as scheduled. I cannot now remember if I hosted Christmas Eve alone last year…apparently my memory bank isn’t providing any withdrawals today.

Cannot forget the Christmas cards and newsletters. I wish I’d begun doing a newsletter the year John and I married because once I began them, they are a small synopsis of what happened during the year. I reread them and remember so many things that I don’t necessarily often think about. John was a great one when it came to Christmas cards. He kept the list of people who were sent a newsletter and those who received a card. As we received Christmas cards or newsletters, he’d mark those senders off. The last few years, he became a bit grinchy, saying, “We didn’t get one from them, so we’re not sending them one this year.” Depending on who it was he’d decided to ignore, I’d either go along or surreptitiously send out a card. John was also responsible for the card display. He strung fishing line across the dining room and as the cards arrived and were checked off, he’d hang them from the line. Some years, I’d have to get cranky to get him to take them down more than a month later. I always thought he tossed them, but when I went through all his papers, I found a number of years-worth of cards he’d saved.

Then, of course, come the holidays where your kids no longer reside with you. You get up in the mornings and the house seemed so empty with just me and John. But, later, as we went to our child’s home(s), I would take great pleasure in seeing the ornaments, collected and given each year as they grew, hanging on their own tree. I also take pleasure in watching them and their spouses prepare and host the brunch or dinner or dessert. It always makes me feel warm and happy to see our kids and their families continue traditions originally initiated when they were much younger.

So, just happy/good memories here today. Of course, I’ll add this Christmas Eve when I received the best gift ever which was being released from the hospital, and this Christmas Day when I'll my own Swedish pancakes for brunch, mainly because it will be just me, myself and I here with Karma and Kaizer. Christmas will last a bit longer this year as well because I didn't get my gifts prepared for distribution. That will happen over the weekend. But that’s okay. Christmas 2020 won't become one of my most cherished memories, but I’m sure like the hot pink bow, the naughty stocking gifts, tree flock, it will be remembered and while maybe not laughed about, at least acknowledged because we all made it through the worst year in history. We'll have great plans for Christmas 2021 where there will be lots of presents, hugs, kisses, laughter, good food and best of all, being together in the very same space.

AND THE BEAT OR PAIN GOES ON

 

Didn’t get a thing written yesterday because I once again went to Kaiser about my problems. Since my PCP didn’t have any openings I ended up at the new Ballard Clinic…oh, so very nice…with an MD I’d never seen before. I was seriously hoping he would be my Knight in Shining Armor, and while he did a very thorough exam and ordered additional tests, including another COVID which was negative again, nothing was really resolved.

So, the root canal was 12/1 and I’ve been fairly miserable since 12/3. This morning I called the endodontist’s office and left a message telling them Kaiser had pretty much exhausted any solutions to my problem and the only one left is to have my jaw x-rayed to see if there’s an abscess or infection in the location of the root canal. I’m hoping they call back this morning and can see me this afternoon or Monday for sure.

Meanwhile, I continue to take the antibiotics and still record a fever of either close to or above 100 degrees each night at bedtime. I lay on the couch with the doggies to read or watch television and the next thing I know, I’m waking up. I haven’t cleaned the house since Thanksgiving and yesterday I noticed there are clumps of dog hair in places, not to mention the dust that’s piling up on everything. And, just where does all this dust come from anyway?

At least not having any Christmas decorations was a choice I made before all this. I can imagine how badly I’d feel if I had been looking forward to decorating and making everything sparkle and shine. I think my house and that of neighbor Ross who is in Costa Rica are the only homes in the neighborhood that do not have a single twinkling light exposed…you can just call me the neighborhood grinch.

There’s the update. With any luck at all, I’ll be able to sit down and compose the next chapter of Water Rights which will include the confrontation between Hannah and Luke.

NEVER ENDING????

 

Nothing new to report this morning. Still feeling crappy and wishing this would go away. So far, the antibiotics don’t seem to have done much to ease the pain; and then, to make matters even better, I’ve not only been ending the day with a fever, but the last couple nights a headache and last night a stiff neck on the right side.

I did my exercises this morning but won’t be walking. I have the chills even though my temperature comes back as normal. So, I guess it’s going to be another day of television…The Crown is quite good. I’ll also try to write a Water Rights chapter, but it’s hard to imagine Hannah and her cohorts when I don’t feel good.

Hope y’all have a great day.

ANOTHER PARTAY DAY

 

Yep, the fun is just never-ending for me, all spike heels, sequins, fancy hair and makeup. Yep, can hardly make it through these partay days. Yesterday, I did as the MD online suggested on Sunday and called Kaiser at 7:00 am. I was surprised they answered that early, but ended up with an MD appointment at Northgate Clinic at 8:20 am. Had to hussle, but I made it on time.

The MD there couldn’t come up with any new theories about the throat and chest pain, but ordered a bunch of blood work, but only the results of one has come back. The good news is the COVID test I had on Sunday came back negative.

Then, it was back home to call the dentist who said I really needed to call the endodontist which I did. Then, it was all laughing and dancing and carrying on for the remainder of the day until he finally called back at about 3:30. He, too, seems stumped over my symptoms, but ordered a new course of different antibiotics which I went and picked up at Bartell’s and hour or so after our phone conversation. Began taking last night, but so far haven’t noticed any improvement.

The endodontist is going to call me again tomorrow to check in and then wants to see me on Thursday or Friday. Yep, I tell, the fun just keeps on keeping on.

So, just in case anyone is keeping count, it’s now been 24 days since I turned 75, and of those 24 days, I’ve spent 17 miserable and in pain and thanks, in part, to pain medication, also very depressed.

Still, yesterday while eating, dancing and laughing, I decided I was really tired of feeling shitty, so I chose to change my attitude. So far so good, but who knows how long it will last if we don’t find a solution to whatever my problem may be. This morning I got up, had my coffee and did all my exercises even though having to take deep breaths didn’t feel great. I was going to walk with Kathy this morning, but since I still had a fever last night, decided being out and about and having a great time in the rain wasn’t wise and that I’d best wait for a drier time.

I just know each and every single one of you reading this post is horribly envious of my current lifestyle. What can I say…I’m just extremely lucky!!!

WATER RIGHTS, CHAPTER 14, LAST QUARTER

 

         In years past, once the cattle had been hauled away, it was time to see to a few chores before winter came howling in with snow and ice. This year was different because Hannah had so many projects underway. Some days, she just wanted to ride off into the great blue yonder and not have to deal with another invoice, decision, person or anything else. Yes, she’d helped her gramps, but she’d never been solely in charge before. Then there were the new plans she was trying to bring to fruition, not to mention her growing belly.

Hannah had realized shortly after the cattle sale she needed someone to assist her with a wide variety of things, from decorating the little abodes to keeping track of invoices, orders, marketing plans, building a web site to working with Dale to figure out just how much food he’d want to order when the time came.

She posted a notice in town and was surprised when Anita Valdez who’d been a few years ahead of her applied. Anita had gone off to college and received a degree in accounting and computer technology. Hannah didn’t really understand what kind of computer technology, but when Anita showed her examples of web sites, she’d either helped develop or developed herself, Hannah was ready to hire her on the spot. When Anita’s resume indicated she also had some experience in marketing, Hannah just knew she’d found her assistant. Now, if it looked as though they would be compatible, she could cross one more thing off her list.

Hannah met Anita at the local café for their interview. She was hungry all the time and barely went more than a couple of hours before stuffing her face, so she could do two things at once. Anita arrived in a business suit and heels and Hannah felt horribly underdressed in her ranch clothing. They had a very good talk and by the time Hannah had finished a hamburger and fries, followed by a chocolate milkshake, she was ready to offer Anita the job.

In addition to the salary Hannah offered, she also offered mileage since Anita would have to drive out to the ranch to get to work each day. She also offered the possibility of Anita working from her own home if she chose after they’d established a routine. Once the business was up and running, there was also the potential for benefits if they made any money. So, Hannah offered and Anita accepted.

Hannah realized she’d been exceptionally smart to look at hiring someone to be her assistant because each project seemed to grow exponentially and become a lot bigger and more demanding than she’d expected. Finally, by the end of November, the concrete pads for the various little houses were in place. Not only that, but Anita had worked with Hannah long enough at that point for Hannah to trust her and delegate. Since Hannah had chosen several different styles for the tiny houses, she left it to Anita to work with the vendor to get all of them to the ranch and in place. Fortunately, it wasn’t that difficult and her contractor took care of making sure each had power and plumbing.

An offshoot of these little homes was the fact she and Dale had discussed and implemented the building of a dining room and kitchen that was closer to what had been the open pasture. They’d decided that if all ten of the spaces were rented and they planned to provide meals, then Dale would definitely need more space, not to mention some place for the guests to eat.

Hannah also handed off the spring planting to Anita. She’d already chosen a landscape company and drawn up a plan, so all Anita had to do was liaison when the time came. They could both imagine how the grounds would look come spring when the landscaping would be done. Small gravel paths would wind throughout and flowerbeds would surround the dwellings. Sod would be brought in for the areas not planted with flowers. Hannah had also chosen several fast-growing trees that would provide shade for the buildings and grassy places. It would be beautiful once it was finished.

Dale pretty much took on the building of the dining room and kitchen because he knew just what he wanted. He still talked major decisions over with Hannah, but she trusted he knew what he was doing, so rarely, if ever, said no to one of his ideas. She even consulted Dale when it came to purchasing furniture for the dining room. There would be at least ten tables that could be combined in whatever combination was required. A honeymoon couple could be alone at a table for two while a family of six or more could push tables together so they could all dine simultaneously.

Furniture for the small residences also had to be ordered, received and placed. Hannah did almost all the ordering from companies online. That was the cheapest and easiest way to get it. Once it arrived, it was up to Anita to move and place it in each of the tiny houses. Hannah would follow up with some decorations and/or ideas for decorations that Anita would pursue.

Anita also soon had the paperwork in hand. It wasn’t that Hannah wasn’t organized because she was. She just didn’t have enough time to do much beyond shove papers into files. Once dinner was over, she barely had enough energy to wash her face and brush her teeth before falling into bed. Hannah was so grateful to Anita and felt they were become not just employer/employee, but friends who worked well together.

By the end of November, Hannah was also showing, her tummy pooching out. She had to begin wearing maternity jeans, and they were actually quite comfortable. The fact she’d always worn shirts, sweatshirts and coats that were bigger than she needed had helped disguise her condition for a bit, but not long. Now, when she had to go into town which wasn’t often because she tried to give those errands to Anita, Dale, Joe or anyone who happened to be heading there. Unfortunately, there were things like her OB appointments, financial meetings with her advisor, attorney and bankers to keep the cash flowing, or as she often thought, gushing.

Still, even though Miz. Lionel had paved the way and the majority of the town folk were kind and sincere with their congratulations, there were others, especially her old classmates, who looked at Hannah, lowered their eyes to her belly and then returned to her face with eyebrows raised. No one came right out and called her a slut, but she could practically see what they were thinking. Rather than shrink away from any of them as she had done all during her school years, she looked right back at them, her one eyebrow raised in return and practically dared them to say anything. She had already decided she wasn’t going to be ashamed or feel bad and she wasn’t going to let any of them make her so. She’d conceived her baby because she was in love, and she’d love this baby no matter what. Hannah now wished she’d been strong enough in high school to give those nasty kids the stink eye.

Something else that came up Hannah hadn’t thought about was the name for her new venture. It was already known as the Wakefield Ranch, but her advisors all thought she should come up with a new name that would encompass all she was planning to offer. To quote Anita, she needed a new “brand,” and didn’t mean the piece of iron you heated up to put on your cattle’s hide.

Hannah fiddled around with the idea of actually making a new brand. The old one was WF for Wakefield. What if she added an R, so the brand would be WFR, but all linked together. She talked to Anita about it and saw Anita become a bit excited. “You know, Hannah, that might work out just great. Besides a new brand, you need some kind of a tag line. Why not use WFR—Be wild, have fun, as you roam the hills and canyons of Wakefield Ranch.”

“Anita, what quick thinking. Do you really think that would work?”

“I don’t see why not. You want people to come here and have different experiences than what they’ve had in other places. You’re going to offer trail rides, rides alone for those who have experience, hikes, play at the waterfall, as well as teach your guests how to care for their mounts. I like it. Let me see what I can whip up as far as design. I’ll play around with it and email you some ideas.”

“That would be great,” Hannah said, giving Anita a quick hug. “One more thing I can cross of that damned list. Ooooh!” she added with a quick huff of breath. “I think he’s moving around in there.”

“Well, it’s about time that Little Mite did something. Let me feel.”

Hannah took Anita’s hand and placed it low on her belly. “I’ve felt him for a long time, but the movements never seemed strong enough for anyone else to feel. There, did you feel that kick?”

Anita laughed and said, “I sure did. And, you’re positive it’s a boy?”

“Yes, when Dr. Harvey did the ultrasound, there was definitely an extra appendage which he said was a penis. I couldn’t really tell so I had to take his word for it. It was hard for me to tell it was actually a baby. I was expecting something that looked like a baby and that picture on the fridge sure doesn’t look like one to me.”

“I’ve seen my sisters’ photos and agree that it’s hard to imagine those various blobs and segments to be a baby. The only thing I’ve ever really been able to find is the head and I think that’s only because it’s so big. Have you thought of a name since we were just talking about the company name?”

“Well, I know for sure his middle name will be Thomas after gramps, but I haven’t decided on a first name. His last name will, of course, be Wakefield. I figure I’ll have something thought up in time for his birth.”

Everything was moving along perfectly, or at least Hannah thought so, plus she was positive that Anita, Dale, Joe or Dave wouldn’t hold back when to came letting her know if things weren’t going well.

Until the new dining room and kitchen were ready for use, Dale continued to cook in Hannah’s kitchen and everyone who was there at dinner time came through the mudroom to the kitchen. Fortunately, the table was just large enough so everyone had a place. Anita didn’t usually stay for dinner, but Hannah asked her to stay the second Saturday in December.

There was lots of talk and laughter around the table as everyone chowed down on Dale’s delicious dinner. Once dessert was served, Hannah stood up and requested everyone’s attention. “I’ve been over WFR TREK;S finances and discussed this with my advisor and have decided to give each and every one of you ten days off with pay, beginning December 23^rd. You’ve all worked so hard to help me move ahead with my new plans while keeping track and taking care of everything else that needs doing. So, some time off with pay is my thank you. Of course, if you want to stay here for those ten days and simply loll about, that’s fine too. You’ll all get your check before you leave or stay on December 23^rd.

“Of course, come January 2^nd, I expect every single one of you to be here, and ready to work your asses off so we can open WFR TREKS Memorial Day weekend. There’s going to be a lot to do between the beginning of the year and opening day.

“I’m also going to have to rely on many of you about the middle of February when the Little Mite arrives. I have no idea if he’ll be early or late or just how difficult he’ll make my or our lives, but I promise I’ll do the absolute best I can. And, I know without asking, that you’ll all do the best you can for me. So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year a bit early. “

Hannah sat down to applause and Dale stood up. “I know I’m speaking on behalf of everyone sitting around this table. We know it hasn’t been easy for you, but we appreciate the fact you’ve worked just as hard as any one of us. We also appreciate the fact your first thoughts and renovations had to do with our comfort. You may be doing this for the first time all on your own, Hannah, but you’re doing a mighty fine job. You’ve made us all feel like your family.”

As everyone got up to go their separate ways, each person came by and either hugged Hannah or took her hand, murmuring words of appreciation or approbation. When only Dale was left, Hannah laid her head on the table and let the tears come. “Hey, hey, let’s not have any of that. No reason to be sad Hannah,” Dale said as he patted her back.

Hannah sat up and scrubbed at her eyes, rubbed her nose on her shirtsleeve and said, “They’re not sad tears, they’re happy ones. I felt so alone after gramps died and now, after just a few months, I have a brand-new family. Dale, I’m so very grateful. Thank you for your kind words.”

Dale gave her one more pat and headed for the sink. “Now you get on out of here and get your butt in bed. There’s no way I’m strong enough to carry you down the hall if you fall asleep right there, and I know how fast sleep can overtake you. Don’t think you’ve seen one TV program in the last month without my having to shake you awake.”

Hannah smiled and laughed a bit. “I’m sure it’s just the Little Mite who’s sopping up all my energy, but you’re right. I need to head for my bed. Good night Dale.”

SORRY, SORRY...

 

there’s no continuing chapter of WATER RIGHTS today, although I did begin and almost finish a chapter.

You know how it goes, however, when you play you have to pay, so that’s what’s happening with me. I had so much fun at all those partays the day before that I simple didn’t have the energy to sit at the computer long enough to finish the chapter. And you know how it is when you have a horrible hangover…you’re hot and sweaty and your head aches no matter how many Tylenol you take.

But, all those hugs and kisses, pats and squeezes were absolutely worth the price I had to pay yesterday, and I truly do wish I actually had a hangover, but, once again, I’m trying to be funny about something that’s actually not.

I have no idea what’s going on with me. My tooth/teeth continue to plague me with a certain amount of pain. But, is it really my tooth/teeth that is responsible for the pain I feel in my chest and far back in my throat when I take a deep breath? And, did the endodontist choose the wrong tooth, so there’s an infection gaining ground that’s responsible for the rise in my temperature at the end of the day…100.2 last night, but normal this morning?

I’ve prepared a note to the MD and am contemplating going online and sending it off to see what s/he says, but I really don't want to return to Urgent Care, a hotbed of COVID possibilities. Or, should I wait until tomorrow and call my dentist. I just don't know. What I do know is that my 75^th birthday was horrible with side-affects from the shingles shot and the majority of days since have brought me a lot of pain and discomfort which, of course, makes me horribly depressed. At this point in time, I almost feel like a stay in the hospital would be a positive in my life because there would be people there who would figure out what’s wrong with me, take care of me and make me all better.

I don’t remember who said, “…into each life a little rain must fall,” but damnit, I’m really really tired of the dark clouds and pouring rain that keep falling on my head. I am ready, more than ready to be done with all this shit. I’d really like to get back to doing my exercises and walking every day, but it’s hard to accomplish those things when you don’t feel well or are having pain.

C’mon 2020, hurry and get the fuck out of here. I’m ready, past ready to be DONE.

UPDATE:  Chatted with MD, going for my third COVID test in a bit, will call both dentist and MD tomorrow. So ready for an answer.

SORRY, AGAIN...

         

but there’s no continuing chapter of WATER RIGHTS today. Yesterday, I got myself all prettified and had the time of my life flitting from partay to partay to partay. Of course, the best part of doing that was all the big hugs and kisses and skin-to-skin contact I enjoyed for hours on end. And, let’s not forget the food…I was lazy and only took a bag of chips to each partay, but my goodness the spread of good dishes each host/hostess provided certainly pleased my palate. So. Much. Fun!!!!

By now, if you’ve read this far, you have come to one of the following conclusions:  a) I’m living in a totally different dimension (and believe you me, I wish I was); b) being alone for so long has sent me right round the bend (a definite possibility); c) I write fiction and the preceding paragraph was all fiction; d) make up your own conclusion.

Whatever you decide doesn’t really matter because regardless of your choice, I have a great opportunity available to anyone. And, no, it doesn’t include any Pacific beachfront in Arizona because I sold that earlier this week. Instead, I have huge boxes filled with absolutely nothing available. For the very cheap price of $9.99 plus shipping, I’d be happy to put your name on one or more of those boxes and ship it directly to your doorstep…absolutely no person-to-person contact involved. Just imagine the excitement of having a huge box delivered, ripping it open and finding absolutely nothing. I get all goosebumpy just thinking of your pleasure and enjoyment.