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Friday, February 14, 2020

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!


            It’s cupid’s day and I sincerely hope everyone who reads this has someone who will give them a hug, kiss, card, candy, dinner, or some fun event in recognition of not only the day but your importance to him or her. May you join him or her in celebrating your relationship.

           I want to share with you how important it is to reach out to the people in your life that you care about. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day life challenges, whether good or bad (especially the bad), and forget that one person who would leave a huge hole in your life if they were gone for good. True, you eventually become accustomed to that huge hole, or so I’m told. Meanwhile, that large empty space in my life is being filled with lots of regrets, none of which I can remedy in any way.

          As you read yesterday, John and I were each other’s early Valentines. We remained that for many decades, but I now wish I could go back at least five years, maybe more, and ignore the damaging challenges we faced and celebrate the ones we conquered. We mastered many trials and tribulations but John’s health and my impatience left no room for celebration during those last years.

          Our 50th wedding anniversary is a perfect example of my making the wrong choice. I didn’t want it to be recognized with a party, family event or any kind of celebration. I did buy John a 50th anniversary card; and we did go out to dinner, but it wasn’t the kind of celebration that event really warranted. With one exception, out of all the friends we had in the beginning, John and I were the only ones to remain married. All the rest divorced; and while we had problems, we hung in there. We should have celebrated for at least a week and invited everyone we’d ever known and each and every family member. We should have stood together and accepted the accolades we so richly deserved. We didn’t and now instead of a wonderful celebration to remember and cherish, I only have regrets.


          John didn’t fail when it came to that anniversary. He bought me a gold wedding band and had it engraved 1966-2016. He remained a romantic through the years, something I didn’t appreciate at the time. In fact, we had an argument not long after the 50th, and he made me so mad with whatever his comment was about the ring, I took it off and threw it at him. I didn’t see it again until after he died. I found it on top of his dresser. I now wish I had been more patient and understanding, far less irritated; and, let’s face it, just plain unpleasant and miserable. I've worn that ring a lot since I found it last August. When I look at it, I do remember the wonderful things in our marriage it represents, but I also am so very sorry I cannot share those memories with John now.

          My Valentine wish for each and every person reading this blog is that you stop, look at your partner and think about what you cherish most. Let the impatience, frustration, annoyances and anything negative recede to the background…you can always pick it up tomorrow. For today, Cupid’s Day, hug, kiss, appreciate and care for each other as though he or she will be gone tomorrow. You won’t have any regrets…trust me. 


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