TO I-PAD OR NOT I-PAD

         Feel like I’ve been a bit whiney the last couple of posts. So, I’m trying to think of some upbeat and positive information to share. First though, another big whine. I bought an I-pad in 2007. It’s served me well, but appears to be on its last leg. Mostly I use it for reading books from the library these days and had just downloaded about six. Last night I plugged it in at bedtime only to find this morning that it had not recharged. Tried a variety of things, and finally plugged it into this computer. It now appears to be sloooooooooowly charging. By slowly, I mean like 10% over the last hour. At that rate, I’ll be able to use it tomorrow.

          Since there’s no going to the library these days, I really want my I-pad to work so I can read some books. On the other hand, if I cannot read, then maybe I’ll spend more time writing these revealing and wonderful posts you’ve been reading. Of course, since none of us have much of anything to do, I’m not sure how much longer I can continue coming up with post material. Seriously, do you want me to go back to my childhood and dredge up some wonderful memories? Or, I could certainly continue to post about John and our marriage, travels, events, etc. I’m sure I’ve barely begun to tap that well of information.

          But I digress. I took a look at I-pads for sale now. It seems there are quite a few models, ranging from about $250 to over $1,000. I don’t need one of the expensive ones, but which one should I actually buy? If I had a new one, I’m sure I’d use it for more than just reading books. Originally, on my current one, I wrote stuff, checked email, sent email, etc. I do prefer my computer though because I can type so much faster with my keyboard. Amazon would send in two days, but if I went to Costco, I could walk out with it in my hand.

Anyway, my daughter-in-law, Angie, is very knowledgeable when it comes to electronics, so I sent her an email and asked for her opinion on purchasing a new one. Someone else I talked to suggested a Kindle, but that’s just for reading although it is a lot cheaper. And, apparently Samsung has some kind of tablet. I haven’t looked at that yet. Or, should I buy a laptop computer? I feel so far out of the loop when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Do any of you reading this have any suggestions as to what I should buy or where I should buy it? I’m definitely seeking input so don’t be shy about providing an opinion on the electronics or what you’d like to see me write about. Thank you so much in advance.

EL BURRITO HAS LEFT...THE DRIVEWAY!!!

        Well, what a long and very hard day this has been. On the happy/sad side, my driveway now contains only one car…mine. I realized last night that I needed some extra paperwork in order to sell El Burrito. So, I waited until AJ and Haley got here before leaving for the licensing place, just in case Bob (the purchaser) arrived before I got back.

          First off, I got in my car and the battery was dead. I shouldn’t have been surprised because Magic Toyota told me a year ago (or more) that I needed a new one. Amazingly, in the latest car review, Magic told me the battery was fine.  So, they were just a little off with regard to my need for a replacement a year ago.

AJ was a bit impatient and I ended up in tears. I didn’t sleep well last night and the tears were just begging to fill my eyes and roll down my cheeks. How could I possibly be so emotional about a POS that hasn’t run in decades? Anyway, Haley drove me in her dad’s truck (I sat in the back for Coronavirus safety purposes, plus we sanitized our hands every other minute.) to the license office. I got the necessary paperwork and then she took me to O’Reilly’s Auto Parts for a new battery. We returned home and Bob was here.

It took about five hours to get everything together and for El Burrito to be towed away. You see, it came with all the pieces and parts John had purchased over the years in order to restore it at some point. It wasn’t like the parts were stored in one place. There was a stack of boxes in one area, the 350 cubic inch motor and extra transmission were tucked under the work bench. They were, though, on wheeled beds, so not much in the way of lifting. Bob brought some kind of device which jacked up the engine so it could be placed in the back of his wife’s truck. She also ended up with a variety of car parts.

Bob happened to spy a shelf on the north side of the garage which appeared to have car parts. And, lo and behold, it did, so he pulled them out of there and they were added to either his wife’s truck or the El Burrito. Hopefully, he didn’t think I was trying to hide them from him. And, who knows, there may be other pieces that will surface as the clean up continues. I told Bob I’d call if I found anything else. 

Then, there were the extra doors, tailgate, another transmission, a variety of parts I couldn’t identify if you paid me, as well as pieces of glass for the canopy which was on the roof of the garage. By the time Bob got El Burrito on the tow bar, the truck bed was stuffed with parts.  It was also obvious at this point that El Burrito would need a different set of tires on the rear if it wasn’t going to drag as it was being towed.

Bob and his wife left in their respective vehicles and returned a while later, having unloaded the first cargo of stuff at their house. Bob also brought different tires which he put on the back of El Burrito. While they were gone, AJ and Haley figured out how to get the canopy off the garage roof. They had barely set it down on the driveway when Bob returned.

Between Bob, AJ and Haley, everything else that hadn’t been loaded, was loaded and Bob’s El Camino hooked up to the tow bar. AJ and Haley had their photo taken standing at the front of El Burrito and AJ took some photos of El Burrito as it left the neighborhood for the last time. Bob’s wife followed him as a safety precaution.

I have to admit that Bob was very excited to get El Burrito. His smile stretched ear to ear. He told me he had already planned his day for tomorrow. He’s going to get El Burrito running and then check out the brakes. I hope he achieves his goal. El Burrito was a great El Camino in her day. I hope she will be again one day soon.

Had to smile through the tears…El Camino towing El Burrito away…somehow most fitting.

WHY DOES ZERO MAKE ME SO SAD???

         As you are reading this, the gentleman who purchased the El Camino is getting ready to come haul it away. That means four minus four equals zero. He’s the only one of the four or five interested parties that made me an offer. It was less than I was asking, but the important thing here is that it’s gone.

          Besides, both AJ and I liked this man, or to quote AJ’s text, “I like Bob. He is an El Burrito guy. He’ll love & cherish that POS.” 

          Above I said the important thing is that it’s gone. If that’s really true, why do I feel so sad? Why do my eyes fill with tears at the idea my driveway will be empty, except for my Rav4, for the first time in almost 50 years? Why do I feel as though I’m in front of a huge blackboard and am slowly erasing John, his memories and all his belongings? 

          Is this what will happen when I’m gone? Will all the things I cherish and hold dear be erased and sent on to other people who will appreciate them? I don’t know. I just know that as I keep moving forward, I keep getting blindsided by feelings of loss, dismay, fear, and loneliness. Why does it keep hurting? Why can’t I reach the point where an accomplishment like selling El Burrito brings me more joy than pain? I don’t know. Does anyone?

FOUR DOWN, ONE TO GO

Today, I’d once again like the opportunity to yell at John and tell him just what kind of an idiot he was all those years he allowed his 1967 El Camino to sit and rust and basically just fall apart. I’d also like to tell him how stupid he was to continue to purchase stuff to use in the car’s restoration only to have it sit in the garage in the boxes in which it came.

I cannot remember if I mentioned at some point that when John died, he had four cars/trucks in the driveway. Only one of them did he drive, and he’d had to give up driving it almost a year before he died. Only one of the other three actually was drivable, although when the time came, it didn’t run well. That could have been because the gas in the tank was so old.

The first car to go was the Chevy Silverado which is the last one John drove. The woman around the corner gave me the name of the young man in the landscape business who does work for her. When he came to give me a bid, he remarked about all the cars in the driveway. I told him they were all going to go away at some point. He expressed a great interest in the Silverado.

Now, the Silverado had been lowered. It was black and very nice looking and the engine sounded very healthy. During a short period of time when I was without a car, having been rear-ended in my Rav4, I never had so many men approach and talk to me. The Silverado was the magnet, not me. Anyway, I worked out a deal with the young landscaper where he pruned every thing in my yard, removed a couple of trees, brought in this nice black bark stuff and spread it around. The day he finished the work to my satisfaction, I signed the title of the Silverado over to him. One vehicle gone…hallelujah.

The Jimmy (GMC) didn’t run at all and one of the sons had actually sold it twice for $500 each time, but John wasn’t willing to let it go. So, there it sat, getting more and more dilapidated with each passing year. It finally began to leak, so the floors in the front were growing algae. I went to Pick & Pull and they gave me a total of $55.00 for it, and they came and towed it away. A second vehicle gone…another hallelujah.

The third car was a 1989 Ford Mustang that John’s dad had purchased and gave to him when he had to stop driving. I drove the mustang for a number of years and always took good care of it. When I transitioned to my first Rav4, John took to driving it. He never washed it, cleaned the inside or anything like that. After he bought the Silverado, our youngest son cleaned the mustang up and drove it for a while before returning it to the driveway. Again, there it sat, slowly becoming one with its surroundings. I couldn’t believe when I looked at the north side of the mustang that the blue now appeared green…algae or moss and no sun. 

The mustang left home yesterday. Pick & Pull offered me $200 which is what the young man who trailered it away yesterday paid for the privilege. He drag races and will be using the mustang for that purpose. With a little care and attention, that car would have been worth a lot more money. In any case, the third car gone…another hallelujah.

In its prime

That brings us to today, Saturday. Last fall I put an ad for the El Camino on Autotrader Classic. In the space of between three and four months, I had a total of four people express an interest. Only one of those actually came to see El Burrito, as the sons have taken to calling it. Last Sunday, I put the same ad on Craig’s List and by Monday morning had received several emails of interest. So, today, I’ve had two men come to look at El Burrito. One definitely isn’t interested and the other made a lower offer than what I had listed. I’m now waiting for another man to come take a look and tell me what he thinks. And, I may have one more person come tomorrow afternoon.

Today, I realized just what bad shape El Burrito is in…BAD, BAD, BAD. I knew it was bad, but not just how bad. The man who made an offer spent a lot of time looking it over, raising the hood (barely and with heavy use of WD-40), looked at the boxes of stuff John had purchased, the canopy on the roof, etc. I actually feel as though I should take whatever is offered because it is in such bad shape.

Now, I know John had a rough childhood so maybe that’s why it was so important for him to acquire stuff. Maybe that’s also why he never made the effort to seriously take care of what he did acquire…he wasn’t taught to care, or his mother always got rid of it so why bother. I’ve made a joke for years as to why we remained married for so long…once the Karlberg name goes on something, John doesn’t let go.

I am going to have to find a new home for so many things that John acquired. Some of it is in fairly good shape and some of it not so good. It really makes me sad to look at all this stuff and realize how a bit of effort on John’s part would have made such a huge difference to the worth of an item or another person’s interest in having that item.

Hopefully, one of the two men scheduled to come look at El Burrito will find it very desirable. If not, I can call the gentleman who made a lower offer. Then, maybe I can say…last one gone, halleluiah!!!!!!

FANG THE WONDER DOG

We hadn’t been married for even eight months when decided to get ourselves a dog. We now lived in a little house with a yard and John had almost always had a dog. So, we answered an ad in the newspaper for a free dog…supposedly a cocker spaniel. Back in those days, you didn’t have to fill out any paperwork, or have your home inspected before you could bring your new puppy home. We brought him home the same day and he was so little he could sit in one of my hands, and my hands are not huge.

He was all black and we decided to call him Fang, Fang the Wonder Dog. He had a terrible first night away from his family, so I brought him into bed with us. Of course, he peed at some point and I had to change the entire bed. Bad dog!!!

Back then, you also weren’t asked how long your puppy would be home alone during the day, so when we returned to work after the weekend, Fang was left alone in the laundry room, the floor covered with papers. It was spring, so it wasn’t long before we allowed him to stay outside on a leash during the day. Two things I remember from this time in Fang’s life. First, I used to hang all my sheets out on the clothesline. Without measuring Fang’s leash, I hung them out and came home to find Fang had amused himself for the entire day by removing and dragging my clean sheets all over the yard. The second thing I remember was that the laundry room imprinted as his bathroom. If the door was open and Fang had to go, he would run back inside the laundry room to do his business.

Fang was our first child. He went everywhere with us. If we visited friends, went for a drive, camping, whatever the excursion, Fang rode along. He was welcomed in all our friend’s homes, even when the first time he saw a Christmas tree he walked over and lifted his leg. Fortunately, he’d just gone outside so there wasn’t much. He didn’t do that again.

When AJ was born and got big enough to go out into the neighborhood by himself, Fang appointed himself AJ’s keeper. Years later neighbors told me they always knew to slow way down because if they saw Fang that meant AJ wasn’t far away. Fang quit sleeping in our room and took up sleeping with AJ once he graduated from a crib to a real bed.

AJ, John & Fang

The vet told us at one point that only one of Fang’s testicles had descended, but that didn’t dampen his desire for a female in heat. His first conquest was an escaped purebred dog from up the street. When her owner came looking for her, John had to tell the owner he’d bring her home as soon as the dogs were finished. Apparently, Fang got stuck and couldn’t disengage. When returned, his first love was immediately taken to the vet and spade. Alas, no cute black and white puppies.

         Much later on, when Fang was really old enough to know better, the ugliest dog in the world went into heat. It was freezing cold and about 2:00 am and Fang hadn’t come back home after being let out. John was sure he was at the neighbors hoping to get lucky and refused to walk down the icy street to get him. So, I did and there was Fang, shivering like he’d never get warm, sitting on their back porch waiting and hoping that he’d get an opportunity. I had to pick him up and carry him home because he wasn’t leaving on his own…isn’t that a male for you!

Actually, Fang did get lucky at least once with this ugly female because the last puppy born to her was black. Immediately AJ and the owners began a campaign to get us to adopt Fang’s progeny, but that’s another story.

Like us all, Fang grew older and older. First he became deaf and then blind. On our last trip to our friend’s farm he went along as always. Fang was the only dog ever allowed in their house because the resident dogs were farm dogs. He took the privilege seriously and never had a single accident.

         Anyway, as always, there was a big get together of our friend’s huge family. At one point all the kids went down the road to the horse pasture. Later on, when it was time for us to leave, we couldn’t find Fang anywhere. You would have thought we had misplaced our two-year-old. Absolutely everyone turned out looking for Fang. He was eventually found down the road in the middle of the horse pasture having followed the kids when they went. He was just standing there waiting and knowing that someone would come and rescue him.

Fang lived with us for 17.5 years and in the end, he was blind, deaf and we had to pick him up and carry him outside so he could do his business. The day before the last trip to the vet John dug a hole under the apple tree. He went to work sad and depressed and AJ went to school sad and depressed.  It was up to me to take him to the vet…how hard could that be? I mean, really, Fang was just a dog. It was then I understood that pets really become one of the family.

I called my neighbor to ask if she’d watch Thor while I did this errand. As soon as she answered the phone and before I could even speak, I began to cry. I had to repeat myself because she couldn’t understand me. I cried all the way to the vet. When the vet came to get Fang, I wouldn’t let him go, but had to accompany him.  I watched while the vet shaved his paw and stuck the needle in, all the while rubbing, reassuring and talking to Fang even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I managed to ask how long after the needle came out and the vet told me it was done. I cried harder.

The vet helped me put Fang into a special bag John had readied and I took him back home, but I couldn’t stand the thought of him lying in the garage getting cold and stiff until everyone came back home again. Instead, and perhaps this was selfish of me, I put him in the hole with the Christmas stocking I’d made for him his first year with us wrapped around his head and covered him up.

We went out for pizza that night, and it was a pretty somber dinner except for Thor. Once he understood why we were all sad, he wanted to go home and dig Fang up. The following fall, we harvested Fang apples from our tree and remembered him fondly with stories like those above. Then, too, we had his daughter with us, so he continued to live on and not just in apple pies.

THE FIRST 18 MONTHS...OR SO

        We married, we honeymooned and returned home to our regular lives. There was one big difference…we had a television. Okay, it was black and white Zenith, but this was 1966, remember; and it was a wedding gift from all of John’s buddies. It also included a stand with wheels, so we could roll it hither, thither and yon as we so desired.

          At that time, John was a truck driver and he drove down to what is now the area of the stadiums every morning. I worked in a small detailing office just a few blocks from our apartment and walked. It was all men, and the detailing they did was for structural steel that a plant on the other side of the ship canal produced. I was the entire office, doing all the scheduling, bookkeeping, typing, etc., rather a girl Friday. All these gentlemen, and they were too, had children and more or less adopted me as one of their own. Their combined gift to us was a Hamilton Beach stand mixer which I used for decades.

          It wasn’t long before we gave notice on the apartment because the couple that introduced us told us about a little house in Ballard, just one door from theirs, that was for rent. We interviewed with this much older couple and they agreed to rent to us. It was in the shape of a square with a big porch in front. There was a living room with a fireplace and behind the fireplace was the kitchen. There was a bedroom adjacent the living room and a second bedroom adjacent the kitchen. In between the two bedrooms was a bathroom. Just outside the back-kitchen door was a small space which housed the water heater, washer and dryer. If memory serves, the washer and dryer came with the rental. Our monthly rent was $92.00 and included garbage and water.

          The best part for John was the single detached garage behind the house. You reached it by driving down the alley which pretty much ended at our garage. He and his buddies spent a lot of time working out there doing a wide variety of projects. They all had a great time and I was sort of the den mother or maybe their younger sister. That meant I provided food, cookies, drinks, etc., and pretty much stayed out of the way.

          In return, when it came to painting and decorating, John’s buddies turned to and helped out a lot. It was such fun to decorate that little house which I did as cheaply possible. I don’t know how many of you remember all the house parties a wide variety of companies did back in the late 1960s. In one year, I had six parties, three of them Tupperware some which I’m still using today. I also had a Princess House party, some kind of a knick-knack decorating party, and maybe the last one was a lingerie party. I still have glass from Princess House and some metal birds hanging on the wall. The lingerie disappeared some time ago. I do think family and friends got tired of the parties because the last Tupperware party, I think only one person came. Ah well, I got some good stuff.

          Of course, I couldn’t walk to work any more, so John bought the 1957 Chevy pickup that’s now AJ’s. I took to driving the 1965 mustang convertible until we decided to factory order a 1967 Plum Chevelle Malibu with a big engine and four on the floor. John drove the truck and I drove the mustang/Chevelle. Much later in life John lamented giving up both of those cars and longed to have them in the driveway with all the others.

          The following year we took our vacation after school began and drove south. We planned to end up in Las Vegas, some place we had never been. In the process, John did most of the driving and I navigated. I remember one day we kept driving for far too long and were way out in the sticks someplace. There were no motels, so we ended up going to a drive-in movie where we sort of watched the movie…it was the one with Raquel Welch, One Million BC…and slept until the sun came up. Then, it was onward.

          That day, I navigated us through eastern California. This little two lane road suddenly went through a tunnel. When we came out, we were inside what had once been a volcano. Now, it was completely flat inside and contained a farm. We drove through the middle and back out through another tunnel. It was sunny and whatever the farmer was growing was golden and beautiful.

          On that trip, I made Christmas stockings for everyone in my family. We’d never had stockings, but John always did. I made one for each of us as well. When I wasn’t navigating or sewing or looking out the window, we talked and sang songs and enjoyed our time together. John always did a hell of a rendition of Lonnie Donegan’s song, “The Grand Coulee Dam.” I just looked it up on the Internet to make sure I had the name correct and actually listened/watched Lonnie Donegan sing that song and it turns out I liked John’s rendition much better than Lonnie’s.

          In Las Vegas, we went to see the musical, “Hair,” and were amused by all the much older people in attendance who got up and left once they got a whiff of something aromatic. I’m sure it wasn’t real weed, but they were sorely offended by it anyway. I can imagine the stampede if they’d stayed to the end when the entire cast comes from beneath the parachute silk totally naked. Whoa!!!

          We tried gambling a little bit, but we hated wasting our money. Still, it was quite the experience to be there at that time. The Las Vegas Strip still had all the old neon lights and places like Circus Circus and Caesar’s Palace hadn’t yet been built. We saw “Hair” in the MGM Grand which was fairly new.

          Back home, I wanted to make a ton of stuff for Christmas. I baked and cooked and made all kinds of stuff. Some of it turned out fine and some of it didn’t. I remember this green Jello-like candy that was so gross I just tossed it.  We went to my parents in Chehalis for Christmas and had a wonderful time. They loved their new stockings as well as all the goodies I’d made.

          If memory serves, we celebrated New Year’s Eve at John’s best man’s home. He and his wife had everybody over to celebrate. It was a potluck and we ate and drank and had a wonderful time. When the clock struck midnight, John and I shared a big kiss and then everyone went around kissing everyone else. I don’t think I’ve been to a party like that since, and John remained the best kisser I’d ever kissed.

STOCK MARKET

         So far, the news hasn’t posted anything about people jumping out of buildings or blowing their brains out because of the stock market. At least as far as I know; and since I don’t watch any news beyond the crawl on Good Morning America, I suppose it could have happened. I’m trying not to look at my accounts and dwell on the damage they’ve suffered over the last couple of weeks.

          When I first invested in the stock market on my own, I had just a couple of thousand dollars to play with. I took a couple of classes on investing and did ask one of the instructors if he’d invest my money for me. But it was too little…he was after big money investors. One of the things he did tell the class, however, was that he could put every single penny he had into Starbucks stock and sleep like a baby at night.

          With that instruction in mind, I did a bit of research and signed up for an E-trade account. Initially, I bought Starbucks, Immunex and Esterline Industries, all Northwest stocks. Fortunately for me, Starbucks split a couple of times, so I ended up with the most stock in that company. Immunex was purchased by Amgen, and I received a few Amgen stocks and a bit of money. Just last year, Esterline was bought by some other company, but they only gave me cash. Their stock price was quite high, so I understand why they didn’t want to provide stock.

          Along the way as my account grew steadily, I never took out dividends or any other earnings, but re-invested in companies I researched and decided would be good investments. With the exception of two, which I keep hoping will turnaround, I’ve done very well. At least until the last two weeks. Fortunately for me I’m not sure how to figure out the percentage I’ve lost…and don’t bother providing me with the information on how to do it. I don’t want to know. The last time I looked which was last Friday, I was both saddened and disconcerted because while I’d lost a lot, I’d actually gained some that day.

          When I left City of Seattle employment, I took the funds I’d paid into the retirement system as well as the City’s match. The Zoo Society set up a 403b account and I paid into that for another ten years. When I made the decision to retire, I almost made a huge mistake and signed up for an annuity. Thank heavens I didn’t, because the person doing the sale was selling me the worst annuity you could buy at that time.

          Again, I did some research and bought a couple of books. Using that information, I decided to move my money out of the 403b into an IRA with Fidelity. I’ve been very pleased with the staff and the way my money has done in the last eight years…except for the last two weeks. I also looked at that account last Friday and was pleased to see it had increased by thousands that day. I haven’t looked since because it was already down thousands before last Friday and I’m sure it’s down again.

          In the past in talking about retirement and finances, I often joked about how when I became homeless, I’d cook my cat food on the manifold of my car…do cars even have manifolds anymore? I also joked about knocking on friends’ doors and asking to take a quick shower and do some laundry. I was just joking then and am still joking now. My social security is enough to get me by if the stock market takes an even bigger dive. It just wouldn’t be enough to allow me to spend freely on frivolous stuff or travel much farther than the end of my driveway…which I’m not supposed to do these days anyway.

          I feel very fortunate to be in okay shape when it comes to my finances. I hope the majority of people who depend on stock market returns are doing okay too   and will continue to do so until it begins to make money again, whenever that may be. Meanwhile, I’m going to refuse to look at my accounts and say a prayer of thankfulness when I see the social security deposit in my checking account.