THIRTEEN YEARS TO NINETY

          

In an earlier post, I made reference to the fact that in thirteen years I will be ninety years old. I am so sorry I ever did the math for this fact because I cannot seem to keep the litany, “thirteen years to ninety” out of my head. It doesn’t repeat time after time, but every so often and way more often than I’d like, that phrase darts into my mind and gives me great pause.

          I guess I’d never really looked at how much time I may or may not have left. Yes, I get a year older with each passing year. Yes, I’m not as capable with regard to some things as I once was. Yes, I’ve been retired for eleven years. No, I hadn’t really thought about what those yeses meant. Now I have and I believe I am most sorry.

          On the other hand, perhaps it was a good wake-up call because I am being more optimistic about the future and making plans that will enhance that time. But I’m also not dwelling on the phrase that keeps popping up, but trying, and succeeding for the most part I think, to stay in the day and time that’s here right now.

          It’s not going to hurt to make some plans for the future. Making arrangements for new experiences will give me events to which I can look forward. At the same time, it’s important I look to today, to now for the immediate experience at hand.

          As my time passes and that phrase, “thirteen years to ninety” pops into my head, I’m going to beat it back, ignore it, and turn my immediate attention to whatever is happening in that moment whether it’s typing for my blog, spending time with friends, hugging, petting and playing with Kuma, just whatever can enrich my life right then. Sounds like a good plan doesn’t it???

ADVERTISING, MARKETING, FUNDRAISING

 

          Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I lie in bed and watch TV. I am amazed at the number of products I could purchase simply by calling the phone number on the screen or visiting the dot com location for the product. I swear if I were to purchase each and every product advertised, I would be the healthiest and most attractive person on the planet. I’ve also noticed that when the price is advertised, it’s usually $39.95, but wait, there’s more. You can get a second bottle free and sometimes even another product to try thrown in for free. Sometimes there’s free shipping too.

          As for Facebook, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed all the various products that can be purchased that will provide better skin, thicker hair, longer nails or other merchandise that will enhance some portion of your anatomy. It also seems like many of the products are advertised by some form of come on that invites you to see which five creams or lotions are the top ones. Again, if I were to purchase all these products, I’d undoubtedly be the best-looking old lady with luminous skin and thick hair down to my butt.

          I wonder if there was some kind of worldwide meeting where the various companies voted on how to split up the advertising location. That wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

          As long as I’m ranting about the different types of merchandise I can obtain to enhance my overall looks and health, I want to say something about all the oh so sad commercials for the various non-profits. If I were a parent with an ill and/or physically needy child, I definitely wouldn’t want to put my kid on national TV asking you to donate, “…just $19.00 each month.” And why is the figure $19.00 each month? Does that figure get more people to donate as opposed to say $15.00 or $20.00.

          There’s also the nonprofit that seeks your financial aid when it comes to all the doggies and kitties who are mistreated and in need of help. This commercial shows photos of dogs and cats in horrible circumstances. Now, I’m not saying there aren’t any animals that are mistreated like that because there definitely are. The commercial also indicates that ONLY 3,000 more doners are desperately needed IMMEDIATELY. Why 3,000 and why repeat that number over and over for months. Is no one donating? I would be more inclined to donate money if the photographs weren’t so sad.

          My final whine has to do with the various organizations to which I have donated money. Why do they have to keep sending me notification after notification requesting additional donations? And, why, if funds are so depleted, do they offer me a special gift when I return my form and a check. The gifts range from shopping bags, thermometers, plants, trees, cards, self-addressed stickers to a wide variety of other items. Wouldn’t the money spent on the “free” gifts be better spent on whatever that organization is trying to save and/or improve?

          And, okay, I know absolutely nothing about advertising, marketing or fund-raising, but these various methods implemented from for-profit as well as non-profit companies have come to annoy the hell out of me. Could you tell???

MY NONPAYING JOB

 

          Ah, I do so love these, my golden years. For example, the other day as I was driving to my river exercise class, I realized keeping myself fit is almost like having a job…just without any monetary reward. For years, I’ve attended an Enhanced Fitness class at the senior center (and you have absolutely no idea how long it took me to accept the fact I qualified for a place identified as senior) three times a week. The beginning of 2023, I added the river exercise class twice a week (for folks sixty-two and above).

          Now, I realize math isn’t my strong subject, but I am now getting up five days out of the seven to do my home exercises, eat breakfast, and leave home in order to exercise. And, yes, the last few years I had a monetarily rewarding job, I got up at 4:30 am to go to the gym, but that was different.

          Why was that different you wonder and maybe even ask. Well, I’ll tell you. When I retired, I expected to have no days with any sort of schedule. You know, just get up whenever I felt like it, laze around, eat when and what I wanted, go to bed whenever I pleased and not live my life according to any sort of schedule.

          And, okay, having this exercise schedule benefits my physical and mental well-being so that I can remain independent and intellectually sound. Still, the older I become, it seems the harder I have to work to remain that way. Seriously, I’ve stated before that calling this time of my life my “golden years” should have been called the “fool’s gold years.”

          Please don’t get me wrong when you read this whiney post. I’m extremely grateful I’m still able to drive myself to these torture, I mean exercise, classes; grateful I’m able to handle my own medical, dental and prescription needs, grateful I’m able to handle my own finances as well as live in my own home by myself (with Kuma). Still, I had really looked forward to a time when I wouldn’t have to do anything at all. I just didn’t realize that when that time came, I’d be in a bed in a storage, I mean nursing, facility.

          If anyone young is reading this, take my word for it…they, whoever they are, lie about growing older and enjoying your golden years. Don’t wait, take your golden years now while they’re still golden, and then get a job when you’ve reached the point where it is turning into fool’s gold.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

 

          When I got up today, I was shocked to find it had snowed overnight. Not a lot because the ground and grass show through. I think it’s most appropriate, at least for me, because today is Valentine’s Day and I’m feeling a bit bereft. It will be the fourth Valentine’s Day without John and some kind of recognition from/to him on the day before which is the day we first met. I’ve already written about that. I’m kind of surprised I’m feeling so sad and lonely.

          Rather than stay in bed, laze about on the couch with Kuma and feed my sorrowful feelings, I had the day I would have had regardless. The sun even shone although it didn’t warm up all that much. So, even though I didn’t feel like doing anything at all, I did my home exercise routine, had breakfast, tidied up the house and took myself to my swim exercise class.

          After class, I went to business Costco for gas and would have liked to have picked up my new glasses at the Aurora store, but only one of the two ordered pair is there. I didn’t want to make a trip for each pair. Gas tank full, I took myself down Aurora to Qdoba and ordered a Burrito made to my specifications and sat in my car and ate it…it was yummy.

          Back home, I took Kuma outside and chucked the ball until his tongue was falling out of his face. Before my exercise class, I scheduled a pedicure for 4:00 pm, so delayed my shower and shampoo until after…I don’t like the lotion they apply to my feet and legs.

In my nightie, I prepared French dips made with the flank steak I cooked on Monday. Then, before bed, I finished off the pint of Sea Salt Caramel Truffle ice cream. Kuma got his fair share of both since it is Valentine’s Day.

Have to say I am proud of myself for moving forward and having my usual Tuesday. I thought about John a lot throughout the day, but the thoughts and memories were good ones and heaven knows I have a plethora of those from which to choose.  

HARPER LADIES' LUNCH

 

          Yesterday, I wrote about friendship, probably because I was looking forward to the “Harper Ladies” lunch. This lunch is an event we began scheduling a couple of years ago. The impetus was the age of our Aunties or Moms. Aunt Elaine will be 96 this year and Auntie Phyllis was 93 last month. We all wanted more time with these funny and engaging women before it was too late.

          It’s always great to see everyone and to catch up on what’s been happening in each other’s lives and yesterday was no different. I’ve included a photo niece Mandy managed to take that includes all of us. Beginning with Mandy on the left up front and going counter-clockwise) are Aunt Phyllis, her daughter Sandi, moi, my daughter-in-law Angie, Sister Mary, Aunt Elaine, Mary's daugher Gilly and Mandy's daughter Abby.

          At our first restaurant lunch, both the Aunties ate and were ready to depart in less than an hour. Future lunches found us younger ladies stretching out the time by not ordering as quickly and lingering over and after our lunches.          

          Yesterday, some of the talk centered around what was going to happen when both the Aunties are no longer able to attend the lunches. Since Auntie Phyllis always has a glass of wine, us young’uns pledged to always have a glass of wine in her honor. For those of us driving, we might have to have longer lunches. There was also talk, as always, about health problems and/or successes. There’s a painful back, knees that are being difficult and being addressed by doctors and physical therapists, exercise efforts that we agree make us all feel better, whether one niece who has no children as of yet is taking one of the Auntie’s previous advice seriously (apparently not because she’s not yet in the family way), and lots of laughter and joking before and after lunch. Once lunch was served, it became fairly quiet…most of us were starving I think.

          There was also discussion about family members who are no longer with us. The youngest of the ladies is interested in geneology and asked questions about antecedents which we older ladies attempted to answer. She’s also interested in seeing more photos. I need to see what I have tucked away on the off-chance I have some to share.

          All in all, it was a very pleasant couple hours and we made plans to do it again in mid-April. We parted with lots of hugs, promises to keep in touch, and how happy we were to see each other.

          After I took Aunt Elaine home, I went a couple blocks down the street from the Foss Villages and joined my BFF at the neighborhood bar. It’s more of an outside venue as opposed to inside, especially when they have a band performing. Several of my BFF’s neighbors are in the band. It was chilly but very pleasant and the raspberry cider was the perfect dessert to my lunch. It also made the remainder of my afternoon very pleasant.

FRIENDSHIP

 

          Friendship. This is a word I’ve mulled over time and time again. I doubt I understand it any better now than I did in my youngest days. I do think it’s one of the most important things I can have in my life. I also have come to realize, at least for me, there are different types of friendship.

          There are friends I see frequently and with whom I share the most intimate details of my life. They are the friends I know I can count on and for whom I would do almost anything. I also think they would do almost anything for me as well. I treasure all these friendships and love the way they have been there for me during the most difficult times of my life as well as me for them. The strands of their lives are tightly woven into my life tapestry.

          There are friends I don’t see very often but because of our linkages and/or background, when I see them it’s as though we were together just the day before.  I cherish these friendships and often wish we lived closer to each other or had lives that allowed us the opportunities to see each other more often. The threads of their lives aren’t as tightly woven into my tapestry but wait for the time they’ll be taken up once again.

          There are friends I’ve had forever, their lives so tightly woven into the tapestry of my life that their value is priceless. I have but a few of these left which makes them all the more precious. I try very hard to make sure they know I think of and love them.

          There are friends who are more acquaintances than actual friends, but I care about these people as well. Whenever I see their Facebook posts, run into them when I’m out and about or we connect in some way for no reason, I’m always delighted to learn how their lives are progressing. It’s as though the fibers of their lives are loosely woven together but still make my life tapestry better.

          Then, there are the friends with whom I’ve completely lost touch for one reason or another. There never seems to be any one event that caused the friendship to cease, but it has. I miss these people but wish them well. The strands of their lives have broken and no longer add to my tapestry’s beauty.

          There are also friends that I think of as a “twofer.” They were part of my life when John was alive, but their friendship was mainly with him and they have ceased to be in contact. It’s as if when John’s thread broke, theirs did as well. Again, I miss them but wish them well.

          Finally, there are people I considered friends, and in some cases, good friends that have apparently moved on for one reason or another. I look to myself for reasons why this has happened. On my behalf, I believe I am a good friend, loving, generous, considerate, helpful, willing to assist or share however possible. Still, these people no longer inhabit my life; and while for a time, I seriously considered I was to blame for their lack of contact, I no longer do so. It was their choice, and I don’t have time to look for reasons or to apply blame. The threads of their lives have been caught up and no longer have the capability of adding to my tapestry.

          I find myself extremely fortunate in the friendships I do have and maintain. These are the women and men who add so much worth to my life that I would be, and am, bereft at each and every loss. Of course, at my age, I am looking at a tapestry nearing completion. That is all the more reason to cherish and value the remaining threads that continue to be interwoven with my own.

          If you are reading this, I urge you to reach out to your friends, both those near and far. Make that telephone call, set up that coffee, do whatever you need to do to let that person know you remember and care deeply about your friendship. Again, if you are near my age, those friendships are more important than ever.

A HINT OF SPRING

 

          Today was so amazingly spring-like. I loved, loved, loved it, and I didn’t stay inside but was outside. Of course, I began the day by attending my river exercise class. Boy, some days moving my body through that water with and against the current seems very difficult, but I persevere and feel so much better after.

          When I got home, I had lunch and then prepared all the vegetables for my stir-fry dinner. That finished, I put Kuma’s harness on and figured out a way to keep him in the front yard except for the two times he managed to shrug his way out of the harness. After the second time, I tightened the harness and Kuma was either tired from his explorations or he couldn’t shrug it off a third time.

          The first thing I did was to rearrange the wire flower cages to keep Kuma in his portion of the garden. I don’t know what I’ll do once everything starts to come up and the cages are needed to support the dahlias and lilies. I’ll have to give that some thought.

          That done, I moved to the front yard and into the sunshine. I managed to get all the Mexican wind grass cut down and a bunch of weeds pulled. What I don’t understand is where those weeds came from. I was very diligent last year about pulling up all those weeds with white flowers that turn into seeds that jump when touched. I just looked them up and it's called hairy bittercress weed. I’d swear very few of those seeds were able to proliferate, but you wouldn’t think that if you saw all the little green starts that are all over the place. I hate those things.

          The sun and breeze felt absolutely wonderful, and I ended up taking off my sweatshirt. I didn’t have my usual tank top beneath, so I wasn’t as bare as I usually am. I was grateful for the long-sleeved flannel shirt.

          Doing all this today and it getting close to Washington’s actual birthday of February 22^nd made me think of my old professor. He loved snow peas and every single year on Washington’s birthday, he planted. He dug up the soil, added compost and mixed it all together before carefully placing his seeds. I always enjoyed hearing him talk about his efforts, and the one time I saw his garden in Madison Park, I was extremely impressed.

          I won’t be planting snow peas on Washington’s birthday unless it’s another nice day like this. Even then, it probably won’t happen because I still have to clean and sterilize my planters as well as haul home bags of dirt. And I won’t do as the professor did, but simply put the seeds right into the dirt once the planter is filled. No extra prep on my part.

          Anyway it was a gorgeous day…send me more, please, please, please.