TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG

         

Somehow, I thought that writing and posting to my blog just once a day would be a breeze. After all, I’m a very fast typer but unfortunately not a fast thinker or at least unable to think as fast as I type. My problem with writing and posting is, I think, two-fold. First, I don’t want to be boring and second, I don’t’ want to use this merely to whine about whatever is annoying me at the moment.

          So, what does that leave me with when it comes to writing and blogging. I’m not altogether sure. It’s not like I’m living a hugely exciting life. I’m not traveling anywhere, don’t have a lover, or even a close male friend, haven’t assumed any new bad or good habits, and don’t participate in any activities that are noteworthy. In fact, my life is quite boring and I wouldn’t read anything written by me if I were the reader as opposed to the writer.

          Not only that, but I’m having a very hard time keeping a positive attitude for a variety of reasons. I guess the biggest reason for my negativity is the fact that there is just me, myself and I when it comes to the day-to-day living. I suppose I should be proud of myself for being able to move along without having much in the way of constructive criticism or having anyone that tells me how great I am. Still, it would be good to receive a pat on the back now and then…more now than then.

          I find myself wondering if other people (women mostly I guess) reach a point in their lives, as I seem to have reached in mine, where there doesn’t seem to be much of a point or reward for getting through each and every day. True, I have Kuma who provides me with lots of affection and attention, but it’s not the same as the affection and attention garnered from family and friends thirty or forty years ago.

          It’s as though I’ve reached a plateau where I sit, just me myself and I, waiting for the final chapter of my life. Should I not wake up tomorrow, just how many people would actually miss me going forward. As it stands now, with the exception of a very few, I truly believe I could slip off that plateau and be missed by fewer people than the fingers on one hand. That idea makes me rather sad.

          I guess you could say I’m having a pity party for myself as I write this. I believe it’s mainly because I don’t feel very clever or original when it comes to blog posting. It was supposed to be something fun, that would engage my creative side and provide me with some positivity in my life…don’t think that’s actually happening.

          So, I guess I’ll go ahead and put this up for tomorrow’s publication. Whether I continue to add to this blog on a daily basis feels like a mystery at this point. Perhaps a good night’s sleep, the elimination of things on  my “to do” list, and a huge effort on my part to look through rose-colored glasses might make it all better...or that's at least my hope.