MY EARLY VALENTINE

 

         

In six more days, it will be 58 years since John and I first met. We decided we were each other’s Valentine even though we didn’t do cards or candy that first Valentine’s Day. I did my usual grocery shopping today and there were all kinds of stuff that could be purchased as a Valentine gift for your honey. Me, myself and I debated as to which of us should be the Valentine this year and receive the gift and which of us should be the gifter. The final decision was to not purchase any of the items for any of us…sweet stuff just doesn’t appeal.

          I find it rather amazing that we met on February 13^th (58 years ago) married on August 13^th (57 years ago) and John died on August 12^th (3.5 years ago). It all seems sort of preordained somehow. I find myself wondering what the numbers will be when it’s time for me to join John wherever he is now.

Of course, I’m thinking about John all those years ago and how the attraction was immediate. I’d never felt that way about any boy/man in my entire life. Even the boy I went steady with for two years didn’t have that effect on me. Amazingly, that attraction never really left either one of us although there were times and events that certainly muted the feelings. As a matter of fact, those last few years were so hard, the loving feeling disappeared and didn’t return, at least for me, until John had been gone for over a year. Amazing how I can look back now and see what a bitch I was and what a real prick he was during that time. That’s when I wish I’d been kinder and much more patient with both of us.

You know how it is though, you don’t get a do-over. What’s done is done and cannot be changed. Today, looking back what I’m remembering is arriving at my friend’s house dressed in a blue skirt topped by a blue and white sweater. Of course, I was wearing a girdle and nylons…that was the dress code then.  When I stepped inside the door, I had to bend over to keep the dog from snagging my nylons. John was across the room and my view of him began with his shiny loafers, moved up khaki pants with a sharp crease, a thin belt and a short-sleeved, fresh from the cleaners, shirt. His brown hair was neatly combed, his face freshly shaved and his lips curved in a wonderful smile.

When I finally stood, our eyes met and there seemed to be a current that connected us. For me, it was love at first sight. I’m so very thankful we shared so many February 13^ths. Me, myself and I will raise a glass to our early Valentine come next Monday.