A BEE BUTT, BUZZING AND ITCHING

          Just look at that cute little bee butt in the middle of the squash blossom. I noticed this when I was watering and pulled out my phone and took several photos. It wasn’t exactly a nice day so I don’t know if the bee was hunkered down, she did move around, waiting for a ray of sunshine or not. Since this is a delicata squash and I love them, I’m hoping this little bee will make the plant grow a yummy squash.

          I got up this morning (Saturday), speaking of bees, with a bee in my bonnet as my grandma used to say. I tried to ignore it by watering everything, beginning the laundry, cleaning up the kitchen which hadn’t been touched since Thursday, checking my bank accounts and paying the pending bills. Still, the buzzing hasn’t stopped. If anything, it’s gotten worse, especially after checking my accounts and finding they’ve just about grown back to where they were before the pandemic slide.

          The buzzing has to do with BUYING SOMETHING!!!! I want to go shopping!!! I want to go online and buy whatever I find that I feel like I really want. There’s only one big problem with this, well, maybe two. First, there is absolutely not a thing that I need…zip, zero, zilch.

Secondly, maybe thirdly, my closet is full of clothes, more than half of which I hardly ever wear. If I took all those out, the closet would be almost empty. My house is full of all kinds of stuff, most of which I thought I’d be waving farewell to at the big garage sale I thought I’d have in August…now moved to the weekend after Labor Day weekend if it happens in 2020 at all. Even then, it will be the garage stuff, not all the stuff in the house.

So, I’m itching to buy SOMETHING NEW!!! I just wish the buzzing and itching would give me a direction with regard to what I could buy. I suppose it’s actually more the wanting to go shopping than it is actually acquiring a new shirt or pot or knick-knack. And it’s not like I spent a huge amount of time shopping before the pandemic because I didn’t.

I think what I truly want is to be able to get in my car…or someone else’s…and go to the mall (is it even open???) and wander around with that someone looking at stuff and debating its positive and negative points. Going into the dressing room sounds like a lot of fun as opposed to the agony it used to be. How great to put on several new dresses, shorts, shirts, nighties or whatever and gaze at myself in the mirror. Even better would be modeling the items I liked for the someone who was with me and vice versa. To leave the mall with a bag full of new things sounds wonderful.

And, as long as I’m wishing for a day that’s not going to happen, let’s throw in a couple of drinks and lunch (or dinner, depending on how long we shop). My last in restaurant meal was John’s birthday in June and it was really kinda surreal. I didn’t recognize a single waitress/waiter at a place we went fairly regularly and spacing was such that I couldn’t really talk to anyone else who was there for a meal. Still good food in a fairly empty restaurant.

           I don’t remember any dreams from last night that would lead me to feeling like this. It’s just another usual Saturday, i.e., laundry, vacuum, change bed, change dogs’ beds, etc. And yet, I want to call someone, get in my car and go have a day that throws all caution to the wind…I always wonder how that comment came to be…and ends with my feeling wonderful, exhausted, fulfilled and content.

          But no, I won’t be throwing my caution into the wind or anywhere else, no matter how much I want to or how appealing it sounds. Chances are I’d end up with COVID and in the hospital and then the crematorium. Don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet. Besides, how many FB things have I posted/reposted telling people to “ STAY HOME AND/OR WEAR A MASK.” I’d be such a hypocrite.

          Instead, the dryer just dinged, the vacuum is quietly calling my name and all the dust bunnies and motes are hunkering down, hoping I won’t choose to pull out the dusters. Laundry is going to need folding, the bed remade, the dishwasher emptied and the peas I harvested this morning cooked for dinner. Guess it’s just going to be another day just like so many that have gone before. I need to choose to ignore the buzzing and itching for something new. I need to choose to be grateful I’m healthy and able to do all the things that need doing around my own house.

          So going to take off the hearing aids to see if the buzzing stops. Going to use some afterbite on the itches and get on with my day. Still, big sigh, it would be so wonderful to go shopping or do just about anything just for fun. Just for fun that wouldn’t endanger me or anyone else…maybe in 2021.