BROTHER AND SISTER

         For about six months of the year, John and his sister Georgia were the same age, at least that’s how I think it was. When she had her birthday in November, she would once again be the oldest. Last year, it seemed as though they were having a contest to see which of them would die first. When John was in the hospital, Georgia was home. When Georgia was in the hospital, John was home. When John died, I told Georgia she had won (or lost?) the trophy.

          Georgia and her husband Gordy are both alive, and today I went by their house to pick up the Lion’s Club scholarship papers for my granddaughter. I’m sure John prefers being where he is today as opposed to being here at home if his circumstances were the same as his sisters. They require someone to be in the house with them 24/7. It doesn’t have to be a nurse, but they do have a visiting nurse at least once a week and perhaps a physical therapist as well.

          Georgia and Gordy purchased long-term care insurance over 19 years ago. They got the best coverage possible which doesn’t require a registered nurse to live there with them. Apparently newer policies require the caretaker be a nurse. Unfortunately, the long-term care insurance company, AIG, isn’t living up to their side of the bargain. Nineteen years ago, the company had no idea just how much it would cost for a caretaker to be on hand 24/7. The company is being difficult and not paying the full $11,000+ per month that their care is costing. The insurance agent who sold them the policy is working with them to get the company to do its part, so there’s hope.

          They do have family in the area, four sons as a matter of fact, although one son and his family live in Idaho. The other three live in Federal Way, Edmonds, and Everett. They also have families and jobs and are doing as much as they possibly can to help their folks. I left Georgia and Gordy feeling both sad and very fortunate.

          Neither John nor I have long-term care insurance. And, even if we did, I seriously don’t believe John would be happy to be at home and incapable of doing much of anything. I know I certainly would not be happy, and I’m not really sure that Georgia is either. Seeing them makes me very content that John went quickly, before he required serious care even though I was here 24/7. I hope when it’s my turn that I can go quickly as well.

          The visit also made me happy about the decisions I’ve made about a garage sale followed by a donation to St. Vincent de Paul and to sell the home I’ve lived in for 51 years. Georgia and Gordy live in the house they remodeled probably 45-50 years ago so it could house them and their four sons. It has a basement and an upstairsin addition to the main floor, and it is PACKED with stuff. Georgia told me today that the kids don’t really want any of it. I’m sure that’s not necessarily true and that when the time comes, there will be items that each of the sons and their children will want to have in remembrance. Georgia also told me that a couple of the grandchildren came down and went through the Christmas decorations and took what they wanted. Still, it’s a huge house with lots and lots of stuff.

          Just going through John’s stuff (which I haven’t even come close to completing) makes me even more determined to eliminate many of the possessions I’ve collected during my life. Before the garage sale, I’ll invite both my sons to tour the house and take whatever they’d like to have in their own homes. I’m sure it won’t be a lot.

I also know this weaning process is going to be very hard. There isn’t a single item in this house that doesn’t have a story or a memory attached. I guess you’d call my decorating style eclectic because there’s such a difference in the various objects. But, they are pieces I’ve collected or kept because of what they mean to me. I guess what it boils down to is that by selling, donating and moving, I’ll be erasing not only John’s life but my very own while I’m still living.

The decisions were easy to make, but execution may be another story and ever so much more difficult than I thought. A part of me envies Georgia and Gordy being able to stay in their home, surrounded by all their stuff for as long as they possibly can; but, I wouldn’t trade places for anything whatsoever even if the end result is the obliteration of what’s been in order to make way for my new future.