SO SAD

           Some days it’s so easy to feel sorry for myself. It seems like everyone I know is busy getting on with their lives while I’m just sitting by the side of the road like some tossed away piece of garbage. And, okay, I’m still sick with this horrid cold and haven’t been to exercise and didn’t walk this morning because it’s so gray and pouring down rain outside. So, there’s reason for feeling sorry for myself, but it really really sucks. 

          Some days it’s difficult to look at what has been accomplished rather than what’s left to do. And, okay it is the Christmas season when I’m writing this, so there’s lots left on the “to do” list. This isn’t a new tradition for me because John was unable to do any shopping or getting about for the last several years. So, everything I’m doing or have done so far isn’t something new that’s been added to my list. The only one whose list got shorter is the older son because this year he won’t have to go buy whatever his dad thinks I should have as a gift and then wrap and deliver it.  

          Just this morning, I completed the remaining four certificates I’m giving as gifts to the grandkids and their parents. Each one is different and is for a different gift. They were fun to make, so why am I not concentrating on a big feeling of accomplishment rather than just feeling ho hum.  

          I’m also not patting myself on the back for the donations I’ve made to several charities nor for the stuffed animals and toys I’ve purchased for the Toys for Tots program. I just need to drop them off today. Plus, with one exception, I think I’ve finished the Christmas gift shopping.  

          I guess I need to stop typing about how sorry I am for myself and proceed to write up a list of ALL the stuff I’ve accomplished and then pat myself heartily on the back for each and every one while saying, “Good job, Paula, good job.” 

          I’ll let you know if it works.