WATER RIGHTS, CHAPTER 26, CHOOSING A NAME

 

          True to his word, Luke and Stevie were back at the hospital before her doctor showed up to release her and the baby. When the doctor did arrive shortly after they had, he overlooked the fact Stevie was on the bed with Hannah, quite engaged with watching his little sister nurse. He did ask Luke to take Stevie into the hall while he did his examination.

“Well, Hannah, everything looks just fine this morning, so I’m going to send you home. The baby can go as well provided she’s been checked out too.  And, have you chosen a name for her yet?”

“Yep, they came in first thing and told me she’s perfect. As for a name, I think her first or middle name will be Grace. But I feel like I should talk to Stevie and Luke and see if they have any ideas about a name. We’ll do that once we get home and I’ll mail in the birth certificate once it’s filled out.”

They discussed Hannah’s check back and her doctor left, telling her he knew she’d call if she had any problems or questions.

When they left the hospital, Hannah, had, of course, to ride in a wheelchair. Stevie wanted to ride in her lap, so she passed the baby off to Luke who walked alongside as the nurse escorted them to the door. Luke had checked out the new baby car seat and very carefully put the little girl in place. Then, he buckled Stevie up next to her, saying, “Now Stevie, you’re the big brother, so you know it’s your job to look after her back here, right. You let your mom know if you think there’s any kind of a problem, okay?”

“You bet, dad, you bet. How can I tell though? She’s all wrapped up and I can barely see her nose.”

“Well, son, she may not be able to talk, just yet, but I know she’ll let you know if there’s a problem. She’ll cry big time. That’s what babies do.”

As Luke pulled out of the hospital parking lot, Hannah looked in the mirror at Stevie who was very attentively looking at his little sister. He wore his concentration frown. She leaned over to Luke and very quietly asked, “Since when did you become so knowledgeable about babies and such a great dad?”

Luke glanced at her and said, “It’s amazing what you can learn from a book or ten. Plus, I think every single woman I’ve come in contact with the last couple of months has offered a ton of advice. How could I not be prepared?”

Hannah smiled and responded, “Well, if my opinion matters at all, you are doing a bang-up job. Gold stars, gold medals, whatever you’d like in recognition, all you have to do is say the word.”

“Hannah, you know what I’d like. I’d like us to be a family. I love you.”

“We should talk about that at some point, but not right now. I think it’s a subject that deserves our undivided attention, just the two of us.”

“You’re right, but I don’t want to wait forever, okay?”

“Okay.”

At the ranch, it was just like when Stevie came home, except everyone gathered in the dining hall instead of the house. All the staff exclaimed and ooohed and aaaahed over the little pink bundle. A couple of them asked Hannah about the name and Hannah put them off saying she wanted to talk to Stevie about the choices. She didn’t mention Luke as part of that, but she had already decided to include him. She didn’t say anything because she didn’t want staff to think she was putting any pressure on Luke to be the baby’s daddy.

“Okay, everybody needs to get back to work and this baby and I need to head for our room. It will soon be time for the little miss to eat again and I could certainly use something softer than this chair on which to put my own bottom.”

Luke swung Stevie up in his arms as they escorted Hannah and the baby to the house. In Hannah’s bedroom, Stevie watched as the baby was changed and wanted to know why the baby didn’t have a penis like him. “Well, Stevie, that’s the difference between girls and boys. Boys have a penis and girls don’t.”

This led to a bit of a further discussion about how girls peed and pooped and from where. Hannah looked up once to see Luke doing his best not to laugh out loud.

Ensconced in her comfortable nursing chair, Hannah put the baby to her breast and asked Luke and Stevie to get comfortable because they needed to have a discussion. Once they were settled, Hannah continued, “This little girl needs a name. I’ve already decided that Grace, after my grandma, should be either the first or middle name. I thought the two of you might like to talk about the baby’s name. And, Luke, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s entirely your choice.”

Stevie jumped right in, “How about Minnie? Or Daisy? I love those names. If you don’t like those, maybe Tinkerbell. We could call her Tink, just like Peter Pan does. Wendy, Wendy’s good.”

“Well, Stevie, we know you love all the Disney movies, but maybe we could give your little sister a name that wouldn’t get her teased by other kids. What do you think?” Luke asked.

“Why would kids tease my sister about her name. I’d beat them up if they did.” Stevie said emphatically.

“Hang on there boyo,” Hannah said, “You won’t be beating anyone up because you’ll be too smart for that. And, you haven’t been to school yet, but some kids aren’t always nice. Anyway, let’s ask Luke if he has any ideas.”

Luke shook his had and said the first thing that popped into his head, “My favorite name is Hannah, but I don’t suppose you’d name the baby after yourself?”

Hannah laughed and responded, “Nope, not ever.”

“Okay, your name is a palindrome. What about a name like that. I happened to look up a few just in case you asked my opinion. Madam, I offer for your consideration the names Ada, Elle, Ava or Izzi. And, did you know the meaning of Hannah is Grace? Maybe you were named that for your grandma.”

“No, I didn’t know the meaning of my name. I never bothered to look it up. Do you know the meaning of the names you suggested, Luke?”

“Ada means Noble, Ava means Grace, Izzi stands for Mighty and there was no meaning for Elle.”

“What does my name mean, mommy? Does my name have a meaning?”

“Yes, Stevie, I looked up your name too and it means Garland or Crown.” Luke responded in lieu of Hannah.

“What about your name dad, what does it mean?”

Luke laughed. “Yes, I looked up my name too since I was browsing through a huge list. My name means, Bright, White, Light-giving.”       

“Okay, gentlemen, I think we’re getting a bit off topic. So, Stevie, what do you think about the names your dad suggested?”

“I don’t know mommy. This is hard. I still really like Tinkerbell.”

“Well, honey, we’re not naming your sister Tinkerbell, but if it has to be a Disney name, how about Calliope from the movie Tangled. You haven’t seen that one yet, but the name comes from there. We could call her Calli Grace for short.”

Hannah looked from Stevie’s face to Luke’s and added, “I really do like the sound of Ada Grace and Ava Grace, but Ava Grace would be like saying Grace Grace. Anyway, as I call off the names, raise your hand if that’s the one you want. This Little Mite needs a name of her very own.”

Hannah had used her free hand to write down the various ideas. Slowly, she called each one off with Grace as the middle name. When finished, each one of them had voted for a different name. Hannah heaved a big sigh and said, “I didn’t think this was going to be so hard. We simply cannot call her Minnie Ava Calliope Grace. That’s way too long of a name. Maybe I should just choose all by myself.”

“Why don’t you put those three names out to our staff?” Luke asked. “Give them a chance to vote for their favorite. I bet they’d love to be part of all this.”

Hannah looked at Luke with surprise and admiration. “What a good idea Luke. Why don’t you and Stevie make the list and put it in the dining hall. Once everyone has voted, we’ll name Little Mite. Meanwhile, both she and I need a bit of a laydown. I’ll see you both at lunchtime.”

With her Little Mite bundled into the cloth chest carrier, Hannah walked down to the dining hall. Sure enough, staff there for lunch were tossing the names around and talking about which one they liked best or which one had the best meaning. She had to look at the list Luke and Stevie prepared to find out what her choice, Calliope meant which was Beautiful Voice. She also saw Luke had looked up the meaning of Grace which was God’s Favor. She hadn’t known that either.

A number of staff expressed their appreciation for being included in the naming process. Luke did have a great idea, Hannah thought. It’s served to bring all the staff together and help smooth over the fact they have no idea who this baby’s father could be. She’d have to remember to thank him profusely for the idea.

The day passed with Hannah spending most of her time in the house with the baby, nursing and resting. At bedtime, Luke got Stevie bathed and into his jammies. Then, they both came to Hannah’s room and joined her on the bed. They brought the big jar with all the votes staff had cast. Stevie pulled them out one at a time and Luke read the name. He handed it to Hannah who put it in the correct pile. Minnie Grace did get a few votes, most likely to please Stevie, Hannah thought and wondered if Luke, like her had voted for that one. The popular choice was Calliope Grace, or Calli for short.

Stevie was disappointed, but went off to bed willingly after giving Hannah a huge kiss and hug and little Calli a very soft kiss on her head. Luke came back after he’d read to Stevie and the boy had fallen asleep. “So, Luke, did you vote for Minnie Grace?”

“Well, I couldn’t see Stevie’s favorite choice going vote-less. You must have been one of the other two, I’d say since you’re asking me about my vote.”

“Yep, I didn’t want his little heart totally broken. I’ll just bet Joe was the third vote.”

“Anything I can get you or do for you before I make my rounds and lock up?”

“Yes, Luke, if you could bring me another pitcher of ice and water. I’ve almost emptied this one. I don’t think I’ve ever drunk as much as I did when nursing Stevie and now, I’ll be drinking gallons more while nursing Calli.”

Luke brought the water and then stuck his head in the door again when he got ready to climb the stairs to his room. He really wished he was able to climb into bed with Hannah and Calli. Not for sex, but just to be with them. He hadn’t gotten his hands on Calli as much this day as he’d had yesterday and he missed the warmth of that little body. He’d have to make a bigger effort tomorrow to spend time holding her.

Hannah and Luke were grateful for the couple weeks before the high season began Memorial Day weekend. Staff did most of the work, but they both needed to do their share. Luke was amazed at how Hannah bundled Calli up in the material she wrapped around her body and went about her chores and business. When Calli got fussy, Hannah would maneuver her shirt and the material, allowing Calli to nurse on demand, no matter what her mother was doing. He asked Joe about that and was told Hannah had done the exact same thing with Stevie only it had been a bit harder because they didn’t have as much staff and she had to take care of more responsibilities than now.

After a couple of days, Luke asked Hannah if he couldn’t have some baby time with Calli after dinner. They’d all go up to the house and while Hannah spent time with Stevie, Luke would sit with the baby in a comfortable chair. First, he’d hold Calli next to his chest and look into her face. She always seemed to recognize him if she was awake. She still seemed to look directly inside his head and it left him with a feeling of awe and amazement and quite possibly love. If she was a bit fussy, Luke would put his feet up on the coffee table and place Calli on his thighs. He’d move his thighs back and forth, gently rocking her while he hummed some country song. Eventually, he’d bring her back to his chest and cuddle her tight while she either fell asleep or rooted around for something to eat.

This became an every-day habit for the four of them. Stevie spent time with Luke during the day and was usually put down for his nap by Luke. After dinner, it became Stevie’s time with his mommy. They’d play games, Hannah would give him his bath, get him ready for bed and once Stevie had said good night to his dad and sister Calli, Hannah would read to him until he fell asleep. After that, Hannah would scoop up Calli and head for bed herself.

The days seemed to fly by. Everyone was busy, busy, busy taking care of the guests, keeping up the ranch and all the various chores and schedules it took to keep everything running smoothly. Hannah and Calli slept in her room and Luke continued to bunk in the upstairs room. It was getting harder and harder though for both of them, especially once Hannah had recovered from Calli’s birth and her hormones sort of returned to normal. It was all she could do to keep from climbing the stairs to Luke’s room and she thought it might be all Luke could do to walk past her door and climb those stairs each night.

Luke and Hannah didn’t discuss their thoughts or feelings, but both felt and knew the time was coming when they were going to have to deal with each other in a more serious and quite possibly life-changing way. They both began to search for some time and space just for the two of them, because there was no way they could continue to live in the same house as they now were.

WATER RIGHTS, CHAPTER 25, THE BABY'S BORN

Hannah couldn’t believe the hospital staff didn’t wheel her right into the delivery room. She had been so frightened by the strength and frequency of the labor pains; she’d been sure she’d have it before she got to the hospital. After she was examined, Hannah was told she’d only dilated to a six, so she had a bit to go yet. The exam was barely over when Luke came into the room. His eyes were huge and he looked scared to death.

“What’s happening?” he asked, moving to her bedside and taking her hand.

“Nothing for the moment.” Hannah responded.

“I thought you were about to have this baby in the truck. What happened?” Luke whispered.

“You don’t have to whisper Luke, and this is sort of the way it works. I seriously thought the contractions were coming so frequently and so hard that my body was ready to push…oh God, here comes another one.”

Luke did his part, looking at his watch to time the contraction while Hannah squeezed his hand so hard, he was sure he’d have more than a single broken bone. When it was over, Hannah relaxed against the pillow and let go of Luke’s hand. “Could I have a cold washcloth. I’m so hot and sweaty. I hope this doesn’t go on for hours.”

“Hours, this could last for hours?” Luke questioned, running cold water in the sink. He came back and put the wet cloth on her forehead. Hannah took it and wiped her face and neck.

“Yes, it could go on for a while. If you want to call Joe and see if he can come, that’s fine. And, could you make this cold again, please.”

Luke took the not warm cloth and moved to the sink, saying over his shoulder, “I’m not calling Joe. I’m staying. I’m staying for however long this takes. I want to be here with you. I want to support you.”

Together, they worked through the next couple of hours. As the contractions came closer and closer, Luke couldn’t believe the pain Hannah seemed to be experiencing. He did everything he’d learned to do in the birthing classes, but it wasn’t the same at all. The classes had been informative, but they didn’t spike his heart rate, they didn’t make him anxious and they certainly hadn’t made him feel as helpless as he felt. And, the anxiety and helplessness only seemed to increase the more time went by.

Hannah had done this once already, so she had some experience. Still, she turned into a different person than he’d ever known before. She panted and beathed like a bellows.  She sweated, her face becoming as red as a freshly shined apple. Her braid also became sweaty.  More than once, Hannah used language he’d never heard her use in all the time he’d spent with her. After one particularly hard contraction, which made her squeal as though she wanted to scream the building down, she cursed yet again and stated she was never ever going to do this again, no matter what.

It wasn’t long after that, she was checked again and within two more contractions, during which Hannah wanted to push so badly, she let go of Luke’s hand and grasped the bed rails.

“Hold her down Luke,” the nurse admonished. “Hold her shoulders down. She can’t push until the doc gets here.” Then she told Hannah, “Not long now honey.” To which Hannah muttered through clenched teeth, “Fuck you!!!”

The doctor came into the room pulling on his gloves. “I gather you’re ready to have this baby, hmmm, Hannah.”

“More than ready. Oh God, it’s coming. I have to push.”

The doctor positioned himself between Hannah’s spread thighs and Luke moved into position behind her. Hannah sat up and Luke braced her back as the doctor ordered, “Okay, now push Hannah, push hard.”

It felt to Luke as though Hannah became one entire huge muscle. Her entire body seemed to clench as she pushed and screamed with the effort.

“Okay, Hannah, relax for just a minute. The next one will do it.”

Again, Hannah leaned forward and Luke braced her. Once again, she seemed to become one huge muscle as she bore down with all her might. Luke thought her scream could have been heard back at the ranch. His ears rang. Hannah slumped back and Luke moved to her side.

“Well, lookee here, you’ve got yourself a little girl.” The doctor said as he held up what couldn’t possibly have been a human child. She was all wrinkly, covered with bluish or reddish stuff and resembled nothing so much as a little piglet. He cleaned the baby’s nose and mouth and laid it on Hannah’s tummy. He looked at Luke and asked, “Do you want to cut the cord.”

“Can I, may I,” Luke asked, looking at Hannah.

“Go ahead Luke,” she responded with a huge smile.

The umbilical cord taken care of, one of the nurses wrapped the little girl tightly in a blanket and handed her to Luke. He had practiced with a doll at the classes, so he knew how to take her, but he’d had no idea what it would feel like to actually hold a warm, newly birthed child. As he held her, she opened her eyes and gazed directly into his.  He knew she really couldn’t see anything just yet, and still, it seemed as though she looked directly into his soul, into his brain, maybe into his heart. Then, although Luke also knew they could not smile at birth, her lips curved upward. It was as if she was saying, “Here I am. You are falling in love with me this instant.”

Luke realized Hannah was talking to him. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Hand her here. I want to nurse her a bit before they take her away to clean her up.” Luke handed her over and watched as Hannah helped the little rosebud of a mouth find her distended nipple. Hannah flinched as the baby latched on and began to suck hard.

“Did that hurt?” Luke asked. “You looked like that hurt. Is it supposed to hurt?”

Hannah smiled beatifically and smoothed the baby’s cheek. “Yes, it does hurt when they initially latch on, but it’s a sweet pain, not one that makes me miserable. Oh, look at her. She’s adorable.”

They moved Hannah into a room while Luke accompanied the baby and neonatal staff. He watched closely as she was cleaned up, weighed and measured and tested. When they were all done with her, they swaddled her tightly, put a little hat on her head and told Luke to take her to her mom.

Once again, the baby looked up at him as though she already knew who he was. Then, she closed her eyes and tried rooting around his chest. “Sorry babe, but I don’t have the equipment you need.” Luke told her.

In Hannah’s room, Luke handed her the baby and said, “The women in the nursery said I should tell you she passed all the tests with flying colors. She weighs seven pounds, twelve ounces and is 21 inches long. And, I think she’s hungry because she kept trying to get at my boob while I was walking here.”

Hannah, too, had been cleaned up some. She lowered her hospital gown and gave the baby the nipple she hadn’t yet nursed from. “What a good little eater you are,” Hannah told the baby. “Yes, you are.”

          Luke watched as Hannah’s eyes fluttered closed. She had to be tired from giving birth, so he didn’t try to talk to her about anything. When the baby’s mouth left the nipple, Luke stood and gently pulled the sheet up over the two of them. Then, he just sat and watched as they both slept. Sitting there, alone with his thoughts, he couldn’t believe how full his heart felt. He hadn’t expected to feel this way. She wasn’t his child, but somehow in those few moments, he believed they had bonded. Maybe it was being part of the process, being at the birth, Luke didn’t know. All he knew was that the little baby girl’s first look and smile had been just for him, as though she knew she had to win him over at the get go. And, Luke had to admit, he was pretty sure she had. Time would tell though.

Eventually, the doctor came by to check on Hannah. “I’m going to keep you overnight this time. I know I let you go home right away with Stevie, but you lost some blood and I want to make sure your uterus is contracting the way it’s supposed to. Having the baby nurse will help, so I’m glad to see that’s going well. If you have a good night, you and the babe can go home first thing.”

Soon after, they brought Hannah’s dinner and Luke held the sleeping child while Hannah ate. Finished, she asked for another pitcher of water. “Have to drink a lot to make milk.” She said, adding, “Why don’t you go pick Stevie up and bring him back for a couple of minutes, then the two of you can go on back home.”

Luke told Celia and her family and Stevie that it was a baby girl. “Shoot, I wanted a brother.” Stevie frowned and folded his arms across his chest.

Amid calls of congratulations and we’ll be out to see them soon, Luke fastened Stevie in his car seat. “I really wanted a brother.” Stevie said again, angrily.

Luke finished with the fasteners, but didn’t move away. He looked at Stevie very seriously and said, “Well, pardner, girls can be pretty amazing. Your mom’s a girl you know. Guess that means you don’t want to go see this baby sister and your mom, huh? Guess we’ll just go on home.” Luke acted as if he was going to close the truck door.

“No,” Stevie yelled, “I want to see them. I want my mom.” Luke could tell the boy was on the verge of tears.

“Hey, Stevie, of course we’re going to go see them. You mom asked me special to bring you even though you’re not supposed to be in the hospital. So, you have to be really quiet so we can sneak you in. Okay? Think you can do that?”

Stevie nodded his head and Luke closed the door. When he climbed into the driver’s seat, he could see the boy had his thumb in his mouth. He didn’t do that very often any more, but he had to be scared about this new development in his life.

 At this hospital, Luke scooped Stevie up into his arms and reminded him they had to be very quiet. Stevie hid his face in Luke’s shirt as though if the staff couldn’t see his face, they wouldn’t know he was there. When they reached Hannah’s room, Luke put Stevie down and stood back while the boy approached the bed.

“There’s my best boy.” Hannah said, holding out her free arm. “Why don’t you come on this side and climb up here by me. I need a hug and a kiss really really really bad. I worked extremely hard today.”

Stevie cautiously climbed up on the bed and let his mom hug him. He put his arms around her neck and gave her some kisses. “Oh, I feel so much better now Stevie. Thank you. Would you like to meet your little sister?”

Stevie nodded his head. “Maybe you could give me a hand with this Luke? I don’t want to stop hugging my boy, but I can’t unwrap our girl with only one hand.”

          Luke went to the opposite side of the bed and lifted the baby out of Hannah’s arms. “You want me to unwrap her?”

“Yes, Stevie needs to see all of his baby sister.”

Luke laid the tightly bundled baby back on the bed and carefully pulled the blanket away. “Look Stevie,” he said, “Look at her little fingers and toes. Aren’t they amazing? You once had fingers and toes just like this. Here give me your hand. Look how much bigger your hand is now. You’re going to be such a terrific brother; I just know it.”

Luke looked up to see Hannah’s eyes full of tears. “Hormones,” she whispered, “just hormones.”

It was then the baby woke up. She squeaked for a minute, then moved her head around as if searching for something, probably a nipple. Luke picked her up and held her in such a way she could see her brother’s face. “This here’s the best brother and friend you’re ever going to have little miss.”

Hannah and Luke both watched as Stevie looked at his new sister and it seemed as though his sister was looking at her brother. For a bit, they seemed to stare into each other’s eyes, then she yawned and turned away.

“Mom,” Stevie kinda whispered, “I think she likes me. I love her. Can we go home now?”

“Honey, mommy has to stay in the hospital overnight, but you and Luke or Joe can come get me and the baby first thing in the morning.”

Stevie was very tired and becoming cranky, “I don’t want to go home without you. I’ll stay here. I’ll sleep right here with you all night.”

“What about me pardner?” Luke asked. “Am I going to have to drive all the way to the ranch by myself? Am I going to have to eat dinner all by myself? I know there’s lots of other people back home, but it’s sure gonna be lonely without you and your mom. So, how about it? I’ll even let you sleep in my room if you want.”

Luke’s offer cured the crankiness and the tears for the moment. With hugs and kisses and lots of reassurance from his mom, Stevie allowed Luke to pick him up. At the door, Luke turned back, “We’ll be back here first thing, won’t we Stevie. We promise.”

Together they headed for the truck and home.

WATER RIGHTS, CHAPTER 24, WINTER PASSES

 

         When Luke and Stevie were gone, Hannah went to the dining hall and radioed all staff asking them to meet there. Once everyone was assembled, Hannah told them of the plans she and Luke had made. When finished, she asked if anyone had any questions.

Jo was the first to speak up. “So, Luke’s going to be in the house on the same floor as me, Dave and Emily? He’s not going to be in your room?”

“No, this isn’t a trial marriage or relationship. Luke is going to stay there so he can have better access to Stevie, plus be aware of my pregnancy as my body changes. I’m not planning to trap him into marriage so both my children will have a father. If we love each other enough, maybe eventually we’ll become a couple. For now, we’re just coparenting Stevie in the same house.”

“You said something about Luke taking on ranch responsibilities. Are you going to assign those or is he just going to do whatever he wants?” One of the men from the bunkhouse asked.

“I haven’t yet talked to Joe, but Joe is the foreman or supervisor if you will of all the staff that performs ranch work. I’m hoping Joe is willing to have Luke report to him. When Luke was first here years ago, he worked with Gramps, Joe and Dave. He was more in charge then than Joe, but we’ll see how he does when he’s not running the show. That okay with you Joe?”

There were some additional questions about Luke’s responsibilities, whether or not he’d be paid like everyone else, all of which Hannah referred to Joe. Hannah ended the meeting by encouraging anyone who came up with additional questions or concerns to bring them to her or Joe. Everyone went back to work and she returned to the house.

While she waited for Luke and Stevie to return, she took sheets and towels to the empty room that would be Luke’s. She made the bed, put the towels and washcloths on top of the dresser. Luke could put them in the bathroom himself on the empty rack in there. She made a note to tell him he had to do his own laundry, including changing his linens. She figured he’d be smart enough to figure out what he needed to do to join his fellow roommates when he saw the lists posted in both the hall and bathroom.

Hannah was back in the dining hall when they returned. She watched through a window as they hauled the various boxes and bags toward the house. She had to smile at Stevie, doing his best to haul his share. He’d go a few steps and have to set his bag down before taking it up again to proceed. Luke would stop each time to encourage him along.

When they joined Hannah at a table a short time later, Stevie was still excited and pretty much went from table to table to tell his friends that Luke was his daddy and wasn’t that just so cool. Following dinner, Hannah proposed she do some work in her office while Luke got Stevie ready for bed. She’d join them in an hour or so to kiss Stevie good night.

From that night forward, Luke took on his dad responsibilities without whining or complaining. If Hannah indicated she wanted to be the one to take care of whatever Stevie needed, Luke backed off. She didn’t horn in often because she’d already had almost three years with her son and Luke needed his time.

In addition to caring for Stevie, Luke listened to Joe and took on whatever chores he was assigned. He didn’t argue or quibble about what they were or how they might be done better or more quickly. He gave Joe and the rest of the staff the respect they all deserved and did his best to fit in as one of them. And, the staff became very comfortable with Luke as time passed. Hannah was grateful to all of them.

Christmas came and went as did the new year. Even though Luke wanted to provide Stevie with an entire toy shop, he listened to what Hannah had to say and curtailed his spending so the boy wasn’t overwhelmed with too many packages.

Meanwhile, Hannah’s body continued to change and swell some as they baby inside grew. She found Luke looking at her much larger boobs fairly often before his gaze would fall to her belly. She could almost see him thinking he’d dearly love to caress those bigger boobs. For that matter, she’d love to have them caressed. For some reason, just like last time, she was so horny, it was all she could do to ignore her body’s desire for Luke’s, but she persevered and didn’t make or allow any overtures. By January, her tummy had gotten large enough for notice and the potential for movement was getting close. Hannah asked Luke to tell Stevie about his upcoming sibling.

“You don’t have to tell him it’s your baby. All you have to do is tell him there’s a baby boy or girl in my tummy. You can tell him that it will be months yet before it gets here. Then, you answer any questions Stevie may have. I’ll be right there with you to help out if needed.”

Hannah was impressed with the way Luke told Stevie the news and even more impressed with his responses to Stevie’s questions, although he did breeze by how the baby got in mommy’s tummy. When finished, Stevie had to see Hannah’s belly, so they both joined her on the couch. She raised up her sweatshirt and slid her pants beneath the small swell. “There’s really a baby in there?” Stevie asked, poking at her belly button.

“Yep. It’s not very big now, but it will keep growing. Soon, I’ll be able to put your hand on my belly and you can feel the baby move around.”

“Really mom, that’s so cool. Isn’t that really super cool daddy?”

Hannah had to hand it to Luke as he told his son, “Yes, it’s just about the coolest thing since you were in your mom’s belly.”

The days moved on and just before Stevie’s birthday, Hannah felt the first quickening, not enough to share just yet, but it would be soon. At the rate her belly was growing, if the doctor had told her it was twins, she wouldn’t have been surprised. There again, Luke had accompanied Hannah to all her appointments, gone into the exam room and asked pertinent questions. He really was trying.

With Stevie’s birthday Luke’s gift-giving was a bit of a different story. Luke could not be dissuaded from getting his son a brand new and larger pony than he’d had since his first birthday. It was a Shetland and absolutely gorgeous. Luke had talked to Joe, Dave and Dale about the purchase. The men had been supportive and went together to purchase tack that was big enough and as beautiful as it was sturdy. It complimented Stevie’s new animal handsomely.

Stevie was so excited about his new mount he could hardly wait to get in the saddle. He had to wait though because there had been a huge snowfall. He also decided he would name the new pony Goldy because it was such a pretty gold color. Then, when he looked at his old pony, his eyes filled with tears. “Oh, what about Spot? He’s going to be so sad. I love Spot.”

“That’s okay honey,” Hannah knelt so they were face-to-face. “You can still take care of Spot and ride him some, but he is getting older and you are getting bigger. I’m sure Spot and Goldy will become friends when they are out in the pasture together. Look, Spot is already trying to reach his muzzle out to Goldy.”

Sure enough, the two ponies appeared to be bonding and it made Stevie feel much better. As soon as the snow had melted enough, Luke had Stevie out in the parking lot and pasture on Goldy. Some times he would mount a horse himself and walk around with Stevie and other times, he’d just walk beside Stevie as the boy learned to control this larger pony.

At the beginning of March, Hannah asked Luke and Stevie to join her. Again, she pulled up her shirt and lowered her waistband. “Now, you have to be a bit patient, but the Little Mite is being very active just now. Of course, as soon as you expect it, the baby always stops.” She took one each of their hands and placed them on either side of her belly.

“Did you know that when you were in my tummy like this, I called you a Little Mite as well, Stevie.”

“You did? That’s so cool mom. Isn’t that cool dad?” Then, Stevie jumped and pulled his hand back. “It moved. I think that Little Mite kicked me.”

On the other side of her belly, Luke pressed his hand a bit harder against the swell of her tummy. As if the Little Mite didn’t want to play favorites, Luke suddenly felt something, he couldn’t tell if it was a hand or a foot, but it pushed against his hand with surprising strength. He was absolutely amazed. He’d felt horses, cows and dogs when they were pregnant, but it didn’t compare to how he felt, knowing it was a tiny human inside. He so wished he’d been there to feel Stevie kick and stretch and punch, but he pushed that thought away, determined to enjoy this experience as much as possible.

The next few months flew by as the ranch got ready for Memorial Day Weekend. By mid-May, Hannah was even bigger than she’d been with Stevie. When the baby stretched, she felt as though the feet or hands or whatever had gone beneath her lungs and reached the back of her throat. She was uncomfortable, actually miserable and so cranky she didn’t even like herself. Hannah had reached the point where she wanted this over, done, finished. At her doctor’s appointment the following week, she was going to demand he induce her that very afternoon. Enough was enough.

Hannah didn’t make it to the doctor’s appointment. Her water broke while she was standing in front of the stove Sunday morning. Of course, the majority of staff at WFR were away, going to church, having a day off, or just away on their own personal business. Joe, who’d agreed to be her birth coach again was also gone. When the first labor pain grabbed her, she had to lean against the counter and hang on. It seemed to last forever even though she knew it was only about a minute.

When Hannah let go of the counter and turned, Luke was right there. ”What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Hannah sighed. “It’s time I went to the hospital. I need to change my pants and socks first and get my bag.”

“I’ll bring you some pants and get your bag.” Luke responded. “What are we going to do with Stevie?”

“I thought I’d leave him with you.”

“How are you going to get to the hospital? Pretty much everyone is gone. I’ll need to take you. Stevie can come too.” With that Luke ran off down the hall to return with everything Hannah needed. He stood her up, pulled her pants and panties down, sat her down, yanked her socks off, then redressed her beginning with the socks. Hannah was grateful Stevie wasn’t there to see.

Luke was amazed at the size of Hannah’s stomach in relation to her legs. Her belly was huge and distended. He couldn’t believe she was able to move around and take that huge belly with her. And, yes, he’d sort of seen it when he and Stevie were feeling the baby move, but seeing her naked from the waist down really emphasized the size.

“You just sit here. I’m going to get Stevie and then we’re outta here. You okay? God, I hope you’re okay.”

Luke was back in no time and carefully led her down to the truck. While she climbed in, he buckled Stevie into his car seat. “Mom’s having the baby? Are you having my brother or sister now mom?”

Hannah could feel another contraction building. She took hold of the door handle and squeezed as hard as she could until it passed. “I think you’d best get me to the hospital soon Luke. Feels like this one doesn’t want to wait much longer.”

Luke drove carefully, but as quickly as possible down the ranch road and on to the highway, doing his best to answer all of Stevie’s questions while Hannah lay her head back against the headrest and prayed they’d get there in time. She didn’t really want to have this baby in the front seat of the truck.

Entering town, Luke said, “We’ll drop Stevie at Liam’s house….”

“No” Hannah gasped. “No. You have to take me to the hospital now. You can take Stevie after.”

Luke pulled into the ER, got out and ran inside where he yelled for help. Turning back, he found Hannah ready to get out of the truck. She was only waiting because she was telling Stevie to be good, that she loved him and couldn’t wait to show him his new brother or sister after a while.

Placed on a gurney, hospital staff wheeled her away as Luke climbed back in the truck and headed for Liam’s house. There, he asked Celia to take care of Stevie and thanked her profusely since they hadn’t even called first. Back in the truck, he gunned it down the street and hoped like hell he’d get back to the hospital in time. He’d done the childbirth classes with Hannah, but knew she thought Joe would be with her. Well, Joe wasn’t. It was going to be him and even though he could hardly believe it, he was really looking forward to helping her birth this child.

WATER RIGHTS, CHAPTER 23, HANNAH AND LUKE AGREE

 

          Luke had decided he’d make another trip to the ranch. If the gate was still closed and locked, he’d park his poor beat-up truck and climb over the fence. One way or another, he was going to talk to Hannah today. He timed his visit so Stevie would be down for his nap. He pumped himself up all the way out there, only to be surprised when the gate was wide open with the hook to keep it so over the top fence rail. Well, this is much better he thought.

It was as though Hannah were expecting him. She came out of the barn just as he parked and stood waiting for him to get out of the truck.

“Hey Hannah, I’m glad to see you. We need….”

“What the heck happened to your truck?"

"Long story, nevermind. We need….”

"To talk. Yes, Luke, we do. Come over to my office in the dining hall. With the door shut, no one will interrupt.”

She started off toward that building and Luke fell in beside her and began to speak, but before he could get much out, she said, “Save it until we get in the office. Then, we can sit and talk for as long as you want. I’ve things I want to say as well.”

Hannah offered Luke lunch which hadn’t yet been cleared from the buffet. Luke got himself a cup of coffee while Hannah chose an herbal tea. In the office, Hannah sat behind her desk and Luke sat in the visitor’s chair. Before Luke could open his mouth, Hannah began.

“Before we really get into this, I need to know if you plan to stick around or are here to tell Stevie goodbye?”

          “I’m going to stay. Stevie is my son and I want to be part of his life. As for….”

“As for the bun in the oven, you aren’t sure how you feel, or you have no intention of taking on another kid, especially one that isn’t yours.”

“Well, I’ve given it a lot of thought….”

Once again Hannah interrupted Luke. “Here’s how it’s going to be as far as I’m concerned. After I’ve had my say, you can tell me what you think of my plan. If you don’t like it, then you can keep on living in town and visiting Stevie on a limited basis.”

It was Luke’s turn to interrupt. “Now, wait a minute. We need to talk….”

“We are talking and this is my plan. This is how I want it to be.” Luke tried to interrupt again, but Hannah just kept talking over him. “First, if we can come to an agreement, we’ll tell Stevie you are actually his very own daddy. Then, you can give up your place in town and move out here. There’s one more room in the house and you can move in there. Since Joe, Dave and Emily all occupy rooms, it won’t be difficult for them to tell staff and town folk that I’m not sleeping with you any more than I am with them.

“If you live in the house, you’ll have 24/7 access to Stevie. You can learn what it’s like when he throws a tantrum because he’s terribly tired, or how wonderful it is to have his sleep-warmed body jump into your bed first thing in the morning. We usually have breakfast, just the two of us and you can be part of that, but you’ll also have to do some of the cooking so Stevie can see that we are partners when it comes to him and his welfare.”

“That sounds great,” Luke said, “but where does that leave you and me and….”

“The child I’m carrying,” Hannah finished for him. “I’ve thought about that too and here are my thoughts. You can participate as you would have if you’d been here for Stevie. You can watch my body change and grow. You can feel the baby move while it’s in my tummy. You can go to the doctor appointments with me. You can be at the birth, or not. Jo was my birth coach with Stevie and I’m sure he’d be happy to do it again.”

“What about after the birth?”

“You’ll have to make up your mind then about what you want to do. If you aren’t interested in being a daddy to this child, then you’ll move off the ranch and we’ll set up a visitation schedule for you and Stevie.”

“What about us physically. You already mentioned your other housemates would testify we aren’t sleeping together. I gather from that, there’ll be no sex even though you’re already pregnant.”

“That’s right. When I made you leave the last time, I was heart-broken. You were my first and I loved you. I don’t want to become accustomed to having you in my bed and then have you leave again, even if it’s my choice to send you away from the ranch. We can be friendly for Stevie’s sake, but no physical intimacies beyond feeling the baby move.”

Luke sat there and looked at Hannah. He so wanted to grab her and kiss her to submission, but he could tell by her face, that she was adamant about how things were going to have to be.

“Okay, that’s what you want is it?” When Hannah nodded, Luke continued, “Okay, that’s all fine with me, but I don’t want to be absolutely useless except for being Stevie’s dad. I want you to assign me chores and other work as it was the first time. I’ll make time for you and Stevie, but I want to help you however I can with running WFR Treks. You’ve done an amazing job since your Gramps died. I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished and I’d like to be part of all this. Is that agreeable to you?”

“Sure, we can always use another hand, especially since I had eleven people resign when they learned I was pregnant. With Stevie, since they knew both of us, knew we were in love, everyone was willing to overlook the fact we didn’t marry and that you were gone. This time, I’ve become a slut and a whore who shouldn’t….”

“You can’t be serious,” Luke interrupted her this time. She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. “Okay, my reaction to your news wasn’t very good, but I didn’t call you names and I don’t understand how people who actually know you and work for you could be so small-minded, so, so, so unsupportive.”

“That’s a small town for you. Parents don’t want their teen-age children, or even their college-aged children working here. One resignation letter called WFR a den of iniquity.”

Luke laughed at that. “Hardly, in all the time I’ve been back, I haven’t seen you do anything that could make people think that.”

“So, are we good then, Luke? Do you want to move out here and live pretty much as I’ve outlined?”

“Sure, in fact, I’m excited about the idea of being here with you and Stevie. And, I know we’re just going to be friends, at least for now, but that’s better than the way it’s been since I came back. I can’t wait for us to tell Stevie I’m his daddy and that I’m going to be in the same house he is.”

Hannah stood up and extended her hand, “Deal!”

Luke took her hand in his, then covered it with his other hand. “Deal, but I want you to know that I’ll never stop loving you or wanting you in my life.” He raised their joined hands and kissed hers.

Hannah felt every cell in her body come alive with need when Luke’s lips touched her hand. He even went so far as to touch his tongue to the back of her hand and she tried not to yank it back or move forward to embrace him.  

“There’ll be no more of that Luke. We’re friends and co-parents. That’s it, and if you try to weasel your way closer to me or into my bed, you’ll be out of here so fast, you’ll think a tornado picked you up and set you down in town.” She pulled her hand free and added, “Now, if you’re ready, we can see if Stevie is awake yet and give him our news.”

Emily was just bringing Stevie into the dining hall. When he saw Luke, he dropped her hand and ran to throw himself on Luke, grabbing his legs with both arms. “Where you been? I missed you so much Luke. Where you been?”

Luke pulled Stevie off his legs and knelt so they were face-to-face. “I had some business I needed to take care of, but it’s all done now. Your mom and I have been talking. How about we go to your house and make you a snack? Your mommy and I have something we want to tell you.”

“You’re getting marred?” Stevie threw his hands around Luke’s neck. “That means you’ll be my daddy?”

Luke looked up at Hannah and responded, “Not quite that, but we do have a secret we want to share. Okay?”

Stevie walked between them and held their hands, talking about how he loved secrets and could he have a peanut and jelly sammich. When they got to the house, removed their outwear and moved into the kitchen, Luke went to the sink and washed his hands. Then, he found the bread where it had always been, peanut butter in the cupboard and milk and jam in the fridge. He wanted to begin this new segment of his life on the right foot.

When he’d made Stevie’s sammich, he poured him a small glass of milk and added a couple of cookies for after the sammich was all gone. Luke asked Hannah if she wanted anything besides the hot water she’d poured for her herbal tea.

They talked amongst themselves about different topics that interested Stevie. Once he was done with his snack, Luke and Hannah moved their chairs closer to Stevie. Hannah looked at Luke and began.

“A long time ago, before you were born, Luke came to the ranch to work for Gramps. He stayed here until after my Gramps died and then he had to leave. But while he was here, Luke and I fell in love and we created you because we loved each other.”

 “And, your mommy didn’t know if I’d ever come back, even though I was determined I’d be back no matter what. It just took me until this past summer to get back, Stevie. I hoped your mom would still be here and still love me because I loved her, but I didn’t know you would be here too.”

Stevie looked from one to the other, his face frowning as he tried to figure out what they were telling him.

“Stevie, because we loved each other, Luke is your daddy.” Hannah said, “You don’t have to call him Luke any more, you can call him daddy if you want.”

Stevie looked from Hannah to Luke and his face showed the biggest smile ever. “You’re really my daddy? I have a daddy? I always wanted a daddy like Liam. Can I tell Liam I have a daddy too? Can I take Luke, I mean daddy to see Liam?

Stevie jumped off his chair and threw himself into Luke’s lap. “Can we go see Liam now? I want Liam to know I have a daddy too.”

Before Luke could respond, Hannah told Stevie, “We didn’t tell you everything. Luke, your daddy, is coming to live here in the house with us. He gets the vacant room upstairs, so you’ll be able to see him all the time. He can put you to bed. You can go to his room instead of mine for hugs and tickles and kisses first thing in the morning, but you better remember to save some for me too.

“So, how about I give Luke the keys to our truck and you can go with him to get his stuff in town and bring it back, that’s if it’s okay with Luke?” Hannah looked at Luke and raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, we can do that right now,” Luke said, picking Stevie up. “If your mommy tells me where Liam lives, we can even go there and you can show him your daddy. What do you think mommy?”

Hannah smiled, delighted at this turn of events. “Sure, I’ll call Celia and tell her you’ll be stopping by. Stevie can tell you how to get there. Besides, I’ve been meaning to send this bag of Stevie’s clothes to Celia for Liam. He’s just enough smaller than Stevie that he can wear them for a couple of months before they get too small for him too.”

Luke carried a smiling Stevie out to the truck and buckled him inside his car seat. Hannah walked along, carrying the bag of clothing, fished the truck fob out of her pocket and handed it to Luke. “Judging by the looks of your truck, I’d sure like it if you were more careful with mine. Also, we usually eat dinner in the dining hall with the permanent staff. After you get back and put your stuff away, that’s probably where you’ll find me.”

Hannah opened the back door as Luke got into the driver’s seat. “Now, give your mommy a big kiss.” Stevie wrapped his arms around her neck and gave her a big smacker. “You have fun with your daddy, okay. And mind what he says, okay.”

Stevie assured Hannah he would be good and Hannah watched as Stevie and his daddy drove out the road to the highway. She stood there for a bit wondering if she was out of your mind to allow Luke such close quarters. She also wondered if she’d manage to be strong enough to stay out of Luke’s room and to keep him out of hers. If only she didn’t still love him. If only she wasn’t pregnant. If only, if only, if only, she said to herself and moving toward her office added, it is what it is. Deal.

HUCKLEBERRIES VERSUS SOUR GRAPES

          My life is full of demands made by family, children and work. It is replete with minor annoyances and major aggravations. It isn’t hard to feel anything but sour grapes when the math teacher calls to say my son hasn’t turned in the last five assignments, or the car’s making a funny noise and there’s no money in the budget for repairs, or I’m handed a big project at work with a tight deadline, or the leaky faucet my husband promised to fix weeks ago still drips.

          Some days it is possible to go to bed exhausted, to lie there with clenched teeth, the surcease of sleep unattainable because I am rigid with anger and fear. But I have consciously chosen not to do this. It wasn’t easy because all my default settings were programmed a long time ago. By default, I should fret and worry about my son and why he can’t seem to grasp the principles of division. By default, I should create a scenario where the car dies, there’s no money to fix it and I’m stranded without transportation, which means I can’t get to work and complete that assignment which means I get fired or lose the promotion. By default, I should nag my husband ceaselessly until the faucet is fixed. By default, sour grapes should be my lot in life. This, I admit was the person I once was (and still am sometimes).

          My personal epiphany came a few years ago on a family outing to a high mountain huckleberry field. When all my default settings are being utilized; when I am exasperated almost beyond endurance, I think huckleberries and I am back on that mountain.

          I sit in a patch of wild huckleberries. The bushes surrounding me are heavy with the dark purple fruit. My mouth waters at the thought of the warm huckleberry pies I will make throughout the cold dismal winter. My bucket is almost full; my fingers stained purple with juice. I stop picking and sit there, idle.

          The sun shines, and it is hot even in this shady place. I am sweaty and the deer flies are pesky, their tiny nips on the few areas of my exposed flesh a painful nuisance. I long for a cooling breeze to whisk them away and wonder why the bug repellent my husband sprayed liberally over me bothers me more than it does them.

          Moist loam, rotting vegetation and the clean scent of evergreens fills my nose. I listen to the voice of my husband and sons. They are picking, too, but small trees and high bushes conceal them from view. What they are saying is unimportant and I listen not to their words, but to the sound and bursts of laughter that ring throughout the forest with the sweetness of church bells calling the faithful to prayer.

          It came to me then, my epiphany. Hot, dirty, sweaty and sticky, I felt at peace, contented with my life. I felt blessed to have my husband. A man who willingly and happily upholds his half of our partnership. A man who feels as comfortable washing dishes and changing diapers as he does building a fence. I feel awed by my sons. Healthy, vigorous, happy children who don’t care which parent responds when they call, “Mom” or “Dad.” I picked no more, but leaned back amongst the berry bushes, closed my eyes and gave myself up to this joyful feeling. I didn’t try to analyze it, wonder where it came from, or question how long it would last. I just let it be.

          This tranquility didn’t last, of course. We had to return home to daily demands and commitments, but somehow, the experience changed me. My sour grape default settings were still in place, but there was a new button I could choose to push.

          I found it is possible to find peace and serenity every day, if only for a moment. The sight of my youngest son leaping into the air to grab the soccer ball before it can reach the goal. The pride in his eyes when he reports he received an “A” on the test he had studied so hard for. The sound of my oldest son and his father cheering on their favorite basketball team. The satisfaction of knowing he has almost saved enough money for a down payment on his own home.  Surprise and pleasure when my husband unexpectedly brings me flowers. The feel of his hand on my hip as I drift off to sleep. These are the things of which contentment is made. I search for them each day.

          Of course, some days it is impossible to find even one small event to make me happy. Everything that could possibly go wrong, has. When that happens, if there is enough time, I bake a huckleberry pie. If the day has fled and it’s late, my last stop is the freezer. I open the door and frigid air goosebumps my skin. I uncover the huckleberry container, sniff their fragrance and pop a few of the frozen purple orbs into my mouth. As they melt and I chew, the day’s frustrations disappear as do the goosebumps. I am hot and sweaty, the laughter of those I love rings through the forest and a feeling of peace and contentment fills my soul.

WATER RIGHTS, CHAPTER 22, HANNAH'S MISFORTUNE

 

          While Luke was damning his luck, Hannah found herself in a position that wasn’t much better. When she’d told her senior staff she was pregnant and said they could pass the information on, she somehow thought she’d receive the same care and support she’d received when she was pregnant with Stevie. It soon became apparent that was not going to be the case.

The initial surprise came when Dave stopped in to see her first thing one morning soon after the news got out. She’d just sent Stevie to his room to dress when Dave knocked. She called for him to enter and poured him a cup of coffee without asking.

“Thanks,” Dave said and continued, “We got us a problem now the news about your new bun in the oven is out. I mean, really, Hannah, how could you have possibly been so careless? Once can be forgiven, especially since most of us knew Luke and knew the two of you were in love, but a second time? Plus, none of us have any idea who the father might be. It’s got the men around here looking at each other with raised eyebrows.”

“Dave, I’m so sorry. As I said yesterday, this came as a complete surprise. And, yes, I know how it happens, but it was one time and I guess you could call it more of a date rape. I wasn’t prepared, barely participated and it was over almost before it began. It certainly wasn’t an act of love. I was just so lonely, all the compliments and hugs and flirting totally put me off guard.”

“Well, some of the staff have decided to quit. First among them is Jamey. You know he idolized you, tried his best to get you to be interested in him even though you didn’t give him the least bit of encouragement. I’m afraid his opinion of you has gone right down the toilet.”

“I’ll talk to him. I’ll make him understand….”

Dave interrupted, “Nope, that’s not gonna happen. Jamey packed up all his stuff this morning and took off. He wasn’t even willing to wait for his final check. Told me I could bring it to him in town one day this week. Said he’s too disgusted to hang around here for another second.”

Hannah felt her face turning red and tears brimming. “I’ll take him his check. I know he’ll understand if I can only explain….”

Again, Dave interrupted. “That’s not going to happen either. Jamey feels terrible. He’s just found out his idol has feet of clay. He was almost in tears when he talked to me last night. I don’t think he’d let you even get near him. And, it’s not just Jamey. I talked to Joe, Anita and Dale this morning before I came here. I’m not going to be the only one informing you of staff that’s quitting. You might get out your checkbook and be prepared to pay them off as they leave.”

Dave finished his coffee, got up and put his cup in the dishwasher before he stopped and laid his hand on Hannah’s back. “Sorry girl. I, and most of us older staff know you aren’t a slut, that you didn’t go out whoring around, but a number of the younger folk, or their parents, are appalled at your latest news.”

When the door closed behind Dave, Hannah wanted to put her head on the table and howl, but that wasn’t possible. Stevie was calling her from his room and she went to give him a hand getting dressed. Ready for the day, they went to the barn to do their chores. Hannah missed seeing Jamey’s smiling face, especially when she realized she’d have to take care of his chores too until she could assign someone else to take over. It was going to be a long day.

It was almost lunch time when she finished in the barn. Stevie had been ready to go to the dining hall for quite some time, but Hannah had had to make sure he stayed with her. She didn’t know who would and wouldn’t be in there, so it was best she not let Stevie just go.

When they entered the dining hall and proceeded to her office, she saw envelopes addressed to her on the desk. Once they removed their outerwear, Hannah took Stevie to the buffet and prepared his lunch. She didn’t feel very hungry. A block of something the consistency of cement had taken up residence in her belly. She wasn’t looking forward to opening those envelopes. She put a few things on her plate and filled a glass with water.

As she sat with Stevie, she was very aware of the glances staff were throwing her way. She was also aware of who was and wasn’t there. Thankfully, Emily was still on duty because Hannah was going to need someone with whom she could leave Stevie as she read the resignations and dealt with whatever else was waiting in her office after lunch.

She got up and went to Emily. Rather than greeting her with a smile, Emily looked at her with raised eyebrows and said, “Yes, you want something?”

“Emily, I’m so glad you haven’t resigned and I’m so sorry for what’s happened to me, but I can’t change it now. I’m also hoping you plan to stay. As for right now, I’d like you to take Stevie to the house for his nap if you could. There are a number of messages waiting for me and I’ve a feeling Jo, Dale and Anita will be dropping by my office as well. Could you? Would you, please?”

“Of course. There’s no way I’d be difficult about Stevie. This isn’t his fault in the least little bit. If anything, once he understands he’s going to have a sibling, he may need even more support from those of us who love him. Just send him over when he’s ready to go.” Emily responded and turned away without the hint of a smile.

The afternoon was more of what had come from Dave that morning. All the envelopes contained staff resignations. Some of them were noncommittal while others did everything except call her a slut or a whore. There was even one from the parent of the youngest day-worker. Hannah knew the family, knew they were very religious and not exactly surprised, but the message was hurtful.

“Ms. Wakefield. I had second thoughts about letting my son work at WFR, but you pay good and he needed the money for school. I was shocked to learn you were pregnant again. Wasn’t once without a daddy enough? You are a woman without any morals or religious upbringing whatsoever. I don’t want my son around your kind. He won’t be coming back. Sincerely,”

Most of the resignations were from younger staff and several more talked about how their parents didn’t want them working at a, “…den of iniquity.” By the time Hannah had read all of them, she’d come to the conclusion she was going to need to find another 10-12 staff and that the townsfolk weren’t going to provide the kind of support she’d had with Stevie. She put her head on the desk and gave in to her tears.

Fortunately, she’d sat up and scrubbed her face with Kleenex before Joe, Dale and Anita descended. Dave wandered in as well saying, “Know we talked this morning, but figured you might want us all if we’re going to make plans about how many staff we need to replace or where we’re gonna get them. Good thing it isn’t the high season or we’d be up shit-crick without a paddle.”

Each one had a tale of woe about staff who’d left or staff that were still here but highly disappointed in their fearless leader. Each supervisor had managed to talk a few staff out of resigning, but if things didn’t go well, their minds could change. Most of the permanent staff were remaining with the exception of two. They and their families were very devout and didn’t want their little children around someone like Hannah.

When Hannah heard about the two families, she was shocked. “I can’t believe they’re packing up and leaving. WFR provides them with a place to live that includes benefits and a good wage. Where are they going to go the very end November that would include all that?

Joe responded, “They said their church would put them up and help them find new jobs. Said they just couldn’t stay and work at WFR with someone like you in charge. Sorry Hannah, but that’s what they said.”

The five of them discussed what to do and how to go about it. It was decided Hannah would try to replace the full-time staff that had left, so they only needed seven new hires. The day-workers could be delayed for a bit, or at least until it was closer to the season. Maybe by then, the town folk would have forgotten or at least decided Hannah wasn’t quite the pariah they now thought she was. Hannah wasn’t any happier than she’d been when the meeting started, but at least they’d come up with a plan and some ideas.

The next day, Hannah decided she’d go into town and see what kind of welcome she got there. She decided to leave Stevie with Emily again in case people decided to be really rude and say things he didn’t need to hear.

Word had apparently gotten around like wildfire. Most people on the street pretended not to see her. At the grocery store, only the old owner was friendly. The checkers more or less looked right though Hannah instead of talking and joking with her. At the feed store, it was pretty much the same thing, although the employee who’d carried the feed out to her truck said, “Hey Hannah. If’n I’d known you needed a bit a lovin’, I coulda volunteered. Guess you wanted some stranger tho. Too bad. Let me know the next time.” As he walked off, he smacked her butt, leered and winked.

Hannah clenched her teeth and managed to stop herself from screaming or running after him and boxing his ears. So, this is the way it’s going to be she thought and turned her truck toward Miz. Lionel’s.

By the time Hannah parked and walked to knock on the door, tears were streaming down her face. Miz. Lionel let her in, took her coat, handed her a box of Kleenex and said, “That’s it, get it all out honey. You’ll feel better.”

Hannah eventually stopped crying and blew her nose. “Guess you know why I’m here Miz. Lionel?”

While she’d been crying her heart out, Miz. Lionel had prepared tea and put it and a plate of cookies on the table. She sat down and said, “Yep, surely do. The phone wires and backyard fence phones have been workin’ overtime. Know you lost some of yur staff, includin’ those two religious families. You must be thankful it’s not yur busy season.”

“I just don’t understand. Most everyone was supportive and understanding with Stevie, but this time, I’ve become a slut and a whore. It’s not like I planned this or went out looking for a good time. Why can’t they understand about how lonely I was, how wonderful it felt to have someone compliment me and flirt with me. Did they all forget I had Stevie at 19, and that I’m barely 21 now? Don’t they know I didn’t and wouldn’t do this on purpose.”

“Well, Hannah, people are just people. There’ve been a lot of folks who developed green eyes as WFR became more successful each year. There’s others who think your success isn’t good or deserved. The ones who weren’t happy with your first pregnancy are using this one to really make noise about what a bad person you are.”

“What am I going to do Miz. Lionel? What am I going to do? I don’t want Stevie to be hurt by all this. I don’t want this baby to be hurt either because it didn’t choose to be. I sure which Gramps was here or even Grandma.”

“Wishin’ ain’t gonna make things better, not better atall. Yur jest gonna have to hang in there, hold yur head up and make the best of whatever comes yur way. What about Luke. Where’s he in all this mess?”

Hannah snorted and had to take a few deep breaths to keep from crying. “I don’t know where that jerk is. He was the first person I told, after you, that I was pregnant and he flipped out. The way he acted; you would have thought I was in town having sex with anything that moved. He took off and when he finally showed up again, I’d locked the gate and wouldn’t let him in.”

The tears began to fall again, “And, Stevie was heartbroken and almost impossible for a few days when Luke first didn’t show up. He’s better now, but I don’t want to let Luke back and have Stevie be disappointed again.”

“Well, Hannah, maybe you need to rethink this.  Maybe you need to let Luke come back, that’s if’n you still love him.”

“Oh, I do, I do." Hannah responded, wiping the tears away again. "He’s the only man I’ve ever loved, and I told him that. I also told him he’d have to accept this baby as he’s accepted Luke and the idea of loving another man’s child just made him so angry. I don’t know if us being together will ever be possible.”

“Set some ground rules. Let Luke come back. Have him live at WFR, but not with you. Let or make him participate in this pregnancy. Tell him it’s his chance to experience what he missed with Stevie. Maybe that’ll work. Maybe you’ll get together and Luke will be daddy to both. You could get married and then everyone will forgive what they see as a bad sin right now.”

Hannah left Miz. Lionel’s feeling better and very grateful the old woman hadn’t censured her when she’d first confessed or this time either. Back at WFR, she got out of her truck and opened the gate wide. She’d leave it this way and tell staff if Luke showed up, that his being there would be just fine. She also knew she’d have to walk a fine line or they’d all be talking about how she was just trying to trap him into marriage so she could have a daddy for both Stevie and the newest bastard.