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It’s been a difficult winter, the week in Costa Rica notwithstanding. I injured my back last fall and it’s only gotten worse as the months passed. After an x-ray which showed arthritis, multiple doctor appointments, medications and massages, I finally have an MRI scheduled for May. I am hoping the MRI shows something that can be fixed. If not, I’m don’t know what I’ll do.
Amazingly, on my return from
Costa Rica, my back felt the best it has since last summer. A friend and my
doctor both postulated the heat and humidity might have had something to do
with it. I’m also wondering if it’s my bed or the fact we averaged seven
thousand steps a day while there. I do know, back pain or no back pain, I won’t
be leaving this area.
I don’t know
about you, but I never seriously contemplated what would happen if (when) I become
less independent. As a result of this back problem and the resulting pain, I
have to sit down to put on my panties, socks and shoes. Picking up Kuma’s bowls
and replacing them full of food and water hurts. So many things I took for
granted I now have to think about and try to adjust how I get it done. It’s
scary to think my future activities could be permanently limited and require
outside assistance…or a move to someplace which provides that assistance.
This has also
led me to be depressed, frustrated and angry. Seriously, when I do at least thirty
minutes of exercise and physical therapy at home almost every day and attend
fitness classes three times a week, how could this happen to me? But it has and
just this past Monday morning while having a personal pity party, a few lines
from that old song, My Favorite Things, sung by Julie Andrews popped
into my head:
“When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.”
I had gone back
to bed when this happened…why not since I can’t do much else…and it served as a
wake-up call. As most of my friends know, I am a big proponent of the “YOU
CHOOSE” method of how my day is going to be. Lately, I’ve been making a
negative choice as opposed to a positive one. As a result of that old song, I’ve
decided to choose a favorite thing to think about and be grateful for each day
to help me feel good.
That idea made
me think of where I was right then…snuggled down in one of my favorite places,
my bed. I love having the ability to drink my first latte and then go back to
bed. I love how the back pain diminishes. I love the feel of the sheets and
downy comforter over my body, the silky pillow under my head. I love having
Kuma nestle adjacent or against me. I love the way my mind drifts from one
topic to another as I drift toward sleep.
This is the
first of “my favorite things,” to hopefully be followed by others I choose so, “I
don’t feel so bad.”
Thank you for that, Paula. I feel the same way mny times but always feel so alone when I do. I HATE feeling alone most of the time, especially since moving down south
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Paula. I was once a strong Horsewoman. I get it. I also get the smaller things bringing comfort and joy. You are loaded with friends, especially me! Love you!
ReplyDeleteI too, came to the realization I can't do as much as I used to. I just
ReplyDeletechanneled my energies into what I could and felt better. Basically, I felt I paid those dues already. Hope you continue to find "your favorite things" to see you thru your day. Hope also, you find some relief from your pain.