PERIPHERY OR EDGE

It’s amazing how I think I know the meaning of a word only to look it up and find while I thought it perfectly described what I was trying to say, that wasn’t the case.  

When I blogged about how depressed I was last September, I used the word periphery. When I looked up periphery just now, the first meaning is the perimeter of a circle or other closed curve. There are three additional meanings; however, none of them actually fit what I was trying to say, at least as I understand the meanings.

The other word would perhaps be edge, but again, when I look it up, it says, under the second edge listing, “1. a: to give an edge to b: to be on an edge of.” The “b” meaning was what I wanted as in, I’m living on the edge of the lives of family and friends.

I’ve pondered periphery since I used it months ago. When I was young and growing up, I was the center of so much. I was the eldest child, the first girl, and think I felt as though the world more or less revolved around me, my siblings notwithstanding.

Grown up, I married and believed implicitly I was my husband’s only focal point. I became a mother and was the center of my children’s lives for a long time. I was always surrounded by family and friends in each of these life stages.

The children grew up and left home, so once again I was my husband’s center even though I might have been willing to step aside. Being the focal point when you’re both in love is one thing, being older with serious illness issues is another. But we did say, “…for better or for worse….”

Over time after John’s death is when I began to see myself on the edge of relationships with family and friends. Initially, many kept in touch to make sure I was doing okay; and being the independent bitch I am, I, of course, assured them I was doing just fine. As time passed, however, for one reason or another, my presence in the lives of some people became fairly unimportant, or at least that’s how it seemed.

I realize my family members and my friends have lives of their own that require their time and attention. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I know that any one of them would attend me if I only asked. I just hate to ask.

          Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not complaining. I’m just attempting to understand how and why the idea of being on the edge, or periphery if you will was never actually addressed or thought about during my younger years, at least by me. Now that I’ve aged to where my mom and grandma were in their lives, I do wish I’d understood this idea of being on the edge or periphery of lives and made a much better attempt to bring them closer.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU CLEAN???

How often do you move your refrigerator and stove to clean behind each? According to some article about how to take care of your house, you should move each one once a year. Hah!!!

In December, more or less stuck at home by the weather and having been annoyed by the greasy fingerprints on the cupboard doors for a very long time, I decided I’d give the kitchen a thorough clean. Let me tell you I did not accomplish what needed to be done in a single day. As a matter of fact, I still have one section of cupboards and the stove front to go.

I began with the east side of the kitchen. For some cupboards, I removed the contents, gave away what I knew I’d never ever use again, cleaned and replaced what I was keeping. I washed the outside of the cupboards, upper and lower.

Then it was time to tackle the fridge. It seemed like I had just cleaned it last week, but when I realized just how long it had been…could it have really been over two years? True, I do keep track of what’s in there and toss what’s bad, but I guess I hadn’t removed, cleaned and replaced anything since I went through it in 2020, tossing the huge ketchup and mustard bottles as well as the horseradish and weird mustard John preferred.

Funny story here. I’ve never liked ketchup except when it’s on a Dick’s cheeseburger. John knew that early on, but for almost 53 years, he always offered me the ketchup. I made the mistake of telling Haley that and now she is the one who offers me that condiment even though I don’t like the stuff. She thinks its funny just like her grandfather did. I guess I don’t understand their senses of humor.

Okay, back to the fridge. OMG, what a mess beneath that appliance. The dirt and cobwebs, the dropped stuff that had slid beneath it. It was a good thing I’d already eaten breakfast because it was enough to make me lose my appetite. Still, when I slid the fridge back into place, I knew there were sparkles beneath. Then it was remove everything and clean. Just how do those vegetable drawers get so nasty?

The stove resides on the west side of the kitchen. It hasn’t been moved since it was installed in 2011. One of the reasons I wanted to move it was because it appeared Kuma had lost a toy…or two…or three…beneath it. I didn’t want to move it and am not sure I would have been able to, but after the oven was cleaned (magically), I removed the drawer from the bottom.

Do you use that drawer for anything? Mine holds cookie sheets and cooling racks. It also held a ton of crumbs and other detritus…again, very nasty. Not only was the drawer nasty, but the floor beneath the drawer was…I have no words; however, if I lived where cockroaches roamed free, I would have had some visitors, I’m sure. Besides the cobwebs, dirt, crumbs, lost pills, etc., I also found not one or two, but four things Kuma had lost beneath the stove. I also found a couple that had to have belonged to Kaizer or Karma.

So, I’ve begun (almost since I still need to do the cupboards and stove as mentioned above) the new year with a clean kitchen that holds appliances that have been cleaned inside and out. Since I don’t do this very often, it just might be the last time I ever look beneath the stove or fridge…that would be just fine with me.

KUMA'S FIRST CLASS

          Last night was Kuma’s first training class. There were only two other dogs in attendance; however, one other was scheduled but the owner was ill. They may be there next week.

          I was very proud of Kuma. He already knew “SIT,” and does so even without the word prompt. If I hold a treat with my arm bent and hand up near my shoulder, he automatically sits and waits for the treat. Except for that one instance, he was a bit of a pain in the ass.

          Kuma wanted nothing more than to join in with the other two dogs. One was a ten-month old Corgi and the other looked sort of like a beagle but I didn’t hear the breed. Their names were Stella (corgi) and Jet, and Jet was just over six-months old. They too wanted nothing more than to mill about with the other dogs. We all had a difficult time keeping our respective students in line.

          We were given booklets with training information as well as a clicker to help with training. Kuma, again, caught on quickly to the fact the clicker means TREAT. He didn’t, however, like to perform the “sniff my hand for a treat” although he did it  perfectly for the trainer. He also responded to the clicker and the word “focus” when I held the treat up to my forehead. This is to help him begin to focus his eyes on my eyes. Supposedly at some point in time, Kuma is supposed to respond to my eye commands?

          Moriah (the trainer) did give me some good advice with regard to making Kuma stop jumping on me and my visitors as well as keeping his paws off the kitchen counters. Now, it’s up to me, myself and I to follow through and teach Kuma what I expect from him.

          Oh, and today I’m going to go buy him a new harness and me a new leash. I used the narrow leash I purchased when I first got him and the Georgetown Beer collar AJ provided. The harness that came with the leash is now too small. When he tried so hard to reach the other dogs, the collar choked him. I felt bad. The leash cut into my fingers and hand when Kuma used his entire 32 pounds to reach the other dogs because it’s so narrow. I felt bad even though it didn’t cut.

          Kuma is on his way to becoming the “perfect” companion provided his accomplice is able to be the “perfect” teacher. Time will tell.

BACK AT IT!!!

 

          Today was the first day back at Enhanced Fitness. The last day class was held in 2022 was December 19^th, which means I hadn’t exercised since then…more or less. I did do my home exercise program maybe 3-5 times during that period. I also attended one River Exercise class at the Lynwood Pool that’s held daily for people over sixty-two years of age…I certainly qualify.

          I absolutely loved the water exercise class; and while I’m not about to give up my Enhanced Fitness class because I love the workouts, the instructor and some of the folks there, I’m going to add this river exercise class to my routine and attend on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I bought 20 sessions the day I attended because they were going up (a lot) as of January 1^st. I also bought some swim shoes because my shin splints really hurt a lot in the swim class. The instructor thought that it might be due to the lack of support in my feet. We’ll find out next Tuesday when I exercise in my new shoes.

           You know what this means, of course? No more lazy mornings. Not that Kuma allows me to lollygag in bed. Nope, he has me up and at ‘em no later than 7:00 am, often 6:30 am. Once he’s gone outside to do his business and I’ve made my latte, we have a little love and play session. Then, when Kuma calms down, I often stretch out on the couch and have a little doze session. That’s now only going to happen on Saturday and Sunday.

          Yikes, it sounds as though I’ve gone back to work. And, yes, I have in a very small way. There won’t be a paycheck unless I look at my improved muscle fitness and health benefits as the payoff. I think that sounds just fine, and I’m looking forward to those rewards. Do you have any rewards which you are looking forward to these days?

SLEEP

          Sleep. Don’t you just love to sleep? I do. In fact, almost the first thing I think about in the morning when I wake up is how soon I can be sleeping again. It’s not because I’m depressed or anything like that. It’s simply that sleep is such a restorative and it just feels so good.

          Let me also say I hardly ever nap. I think it’s a huge waste of my valuable time. How can I possibly nap when there’s books to read, ball throwing for Kuma, gardening, seeing friends and family. Nope, too much other fun stuff awaits to lay upon the couch and nap.

          Sleep at bedtime is perfect. If I dream, I rarely remember the dream. And, yes, I don’t sleep straight through because my bladder insists I get up and make the trip down the hall. I find that very annoying, but age does have its drawbacks. The ability to return to sleep right away is a blessing.

          So, what do you think about sleeping? Is it your favorite activity? Do you feel like sleeping is wasting
your time? Do you nap? Please, share your thoughts.

NOT AN AUSPICIOUS BEGINNING

          The new year didn’t begin very auspiciously. On December 31^st, I went to bed feeling just fine. During the night, my back began to hurt. When I got up, it hurt a lot, so I iced it, then used a heating pad. That helped some, but not a great deal.

Now, I’ve never had lower back problems…EVER. And, I was looking forward to 2023 being a GREAT year without any serious health or body problems. I’ve tried to figure out what I did on that last day of the year to cause this very uncomfortable pain and, initially, came up with absolutely no specific thing I did to cause my back to spasm like that.

Okay, earlier in the week I lifted the very heavy microwave off the counter, wheeled it out to my car and lifted it inside. Then, I lifted the new microwave, also very heavy, and placed it on the counter. I used my legs, was very careful, and didn’t seem to have any problems for the several days after.

Fortunately, I have some Oxy the doctor gave me some time ago. I cannot remember now why she prescribed it, but apparently whatever the problem was, it didn’t require much in the way of pain medication. I took three over the course of new year’s day, continued to use ice and heat and this morning it feels ever so much better.

And, perhaps the oxy loosened up some brain cells because I finally figured out what I did to hurt my back. I lifted Kuma so we could be on the scale together and see how much he weighs…32 pounds. Well, I think that 32 pounds is what caused my back to hurt since most of the pain was on the side where I held him as we stood on the scale.

Today, I haven’t taken any oxy and am in the process of finishing what I started yesterday. Christmas has been removed and the process of cleaning and rearranging the living room is underway. Unfortunately, the furniture, rug, plants, etc., are all HEAVY. I’ve a feeling I’ll be visiting the freezer, plugging in the heating pad and perhaps taking another oxy or two. I’m not even sure I’ll finish what I’ve started, but that’s okay.  My first priority is me, myself and I. We need to take care of each other. Everything else is and must be secondary.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Well, here we are again on the first day of a brand new year. How many of us approach this day and new year with a feeling of optimism? How many of us look down the long corridor of the coming year with a heart full of hope and a head full of doubt?

I like to think I’m more of an optimist as opposed to a pessimist, but I have to admit that while my heart hopes 2023 will be a better year for us all, my head thinks that’s unlikely. Amazingly, I’ve reached these conclusions without paying too much attention to the news. I know we are on the verge if a recession, that the inflation rate has made my grocery budget rise far more than I like. I rather enjoyed shopping after John passed because I spent so little compared to all the specialty items I purchased for him. I even got to the point where I would tell myself, “Self, if you want that steak, you can afford it. BUY IT!!!!” I’ve a feeling me, myself and I will be arguing as to what each of us wants as opposed to what each of us thinks we can afford during 2023.

There’s also the war in the Ukraine. Is Putin an absolute idiot…I think so. Should he be removed from power…I think so. Should we do more to help the Ukraine…I don’t know. The reason I don’t know is that I simply don’t understand where all the money that’s in the governmental budget comes from. My sister told me, “They just print more.” That may be, but if I were to just keep writing checks without funds, I think I’d end up in jail. Finance was never my forte.

The final thing my head likes to throw out there is climate change. There are folks who say it isn’t so, but the weather has been unbelievable not just across the country, but around the world. I don’t remember ever having frozen rain in the Seattle area; Portland, yes, but not Seattle. I also don’t remember ever having fires as close as Index and Snoqualmie as they were this past year. I want to go up there this spring and see if my huckleberry fields (which were replaced by new growth) were burned allowing for their potential return. I’ve always loved having the greenbelt behind me, but could it be a firestorm just waiting to happen?

It's my heart I’m choosing to listen to because my heart makes me feel good. It provides me with hope that me, myself and I and all my loved ones be they family or friends will be able to move through 2023 buoyed by our love for each other and the world that is our permanent home.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!