ROADS LESS TRAVELED

 

          Do you ever wonder about the roads less traveled? I do now and then as I make my usual way to whatever destination awaits. I have this mental image of myself going to and coming from the same place throughout all the years I’ve lived in this house. I sometimes wonder if there are other dimensions and the other mes are busily traversing the same path as me over and over. 

          My parents lived in Lynnwood for many years. Since my son and his family moved to Lynnwood, I take the same roads I took when I went to my folks, just go a few blocks further west. Why have I never taken the time to drive around that neighborhood or the one my son lives in now?

          When I was taking daily walks I sometimes would take a different route just to see what was down or up that street. Why don’t I do that when I’m driving my car? Why don’t I turn left instead of right? Why don’t I decide I want to see what’s on the other side of this hill? Would it matter if I got lost? Probably not because sooner or later I’d find my way; and who knows, maybe see some interesting stuff.

          For that matter, why don’t I pick a neighborhood I’ve never ever been to and go there to see if it resembles my own? I wouldn’t necessarily have to drive the entire neighborhood because I could park and walk for however long I wanted. I know just on the walking route I usually take in my own area, there’s almost always something I didn’t notice before, especially as the seasons change.

           I think in addition to the other new stuff I’m doing and plan to do, I’m going to choose destinations to which I’ve never gone and go there. There’s sure to be new and interesting details just waiting for me to discover.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THOR

 

          Today is my son Thor’s forty-third birthday. I don’t know about those of you who read my blog, but when one of my sons celebrates a birthday, it provides me with an opportunity to remember and celebrate so many things from the years they’ve been part of my life from conception to now. I want to share some of those today.

          We tried for at least five years to have a second child and were going to give up after May 1979. By the end of June, we knew we were pregnant with a due date the following February. I enjoyed being pregnant with Thor and all the attention his father and brother paid to the growing belly bump. It was a very happy time.

          Thor was a very happy baby. He was full of smiles, nursed well and delighted in the devotion of all family members and friends whether they lived with him in the house or merely came to visit. The saddest part of Thor’s first year for me was when he decided he no longer wanted to nurse. He wasn’t quite nine months old, but he’d already come to the conclusion there was way more to life than facing mommy’s chest. He could chug a bottle and be on his way in minutes.

          We tried to slow him down by calling him, “Tortoise,” affectionately but that didn’t work at all. He wanted to do everything his older brother, AJ, by ten years did. He potty trained himself because he wanted to stand up and pee. He had a little plastic three-wheeled bike which he took over the jump the older boys did with their bikes. He wasn’t hurt, but his bike was totaled. He idolized AJ and followed in his footsteps in many ways.

          I went back to work when Thor was four years old. He didn’t like that even though the daycare provider told me I was barely out of sight before the tears disappeared and he was busy playing. I now think the tears were for my benefit because I so hated to leave him, my last child, in another’s care.

          Thor did very well in elementary and  middle school, but gave us a few concerns when he reached high school. His dad was convinced none of the transgressions were Thor’s fault, but the fault of the other participant(s). It was at this point we found out his older brother AJ had had his own misbehaviors; however, AJ just never got caught.

          Thor played soccer and I loved to watch him and his teammates practice and play. One year, the team somehow was put up against a really good team, a select team if you will. Thor was the goalie and the game was played mostly in front of his goal. He didn’t allow one goal and told me after the game that he knew he had it the first time he caught the ball. The ball was a THOR ball. His team won 1-0 and we were all amazed the team pulled it off against a supposedly much better team.

          Thor also played basketball for a while. Initially, AJ and a friend of AJ’s were the coaches. It was so special to see AJ out there coaching his brother and the other kids. The time they spent in front of the  house at our basketball hoop amounted to a lot of hours because Thor joined AJ out there when he could ba rely lift a regulation basketball. These are the kind of memories that makes a mom’s heart swell.

          With two years of high school to go, Thor decided he didn’t want to attend there any longer. On his own, he investigated the potential of attending Lake Washington Vocational Technical College. His dad was very much against this until he found out Thor would graduate with a high school diploma. We gave our permission and Thor ultimately had two graduations, i.e., one for his high school diploma and one for his diesel mechanic’s certificate.

          Unfortunately, it was at this point Thor had some serious, and scary, health problems so rather than getting a job as a diesel mechanic, he went to work for his dad. His father taught him everything he knew, which was a lot, about carpentry, plumbing and electrical. There isn’t anything Thor cannot do when it comes to these abilities to which his wife can attest. I can also attest to his capabilities because there are many completed projects around this house for which Thor is responsible…and he continues to help his poor old mom out whenever possible.

          When John closed his company, Thor had already found one of several jobs he’d have the next few years. He has never been without a job since and he’s always given each and every company far more than required.

          It was about eleven years ago Thor met his wife, Amber. She had two children, the youngest only three years old. Thor is the only dad she has ever known and he is a good father to her. Xander was born eight years ago, and while I loved to see how Thor interacted with his daughter, I was there when he first held his son. I’ll never forget that moment.

          I know we all say we simply can’t understand how quickly the time has flown, but there’s no stopping it. Today Thor is forty-three years old, but to me it seems like only last week I hugged his swaddled little body in my arms. Now, my head is below his chin and his arms wrap completely around me. Still a wonderful feeling but extremely different.

          Today, as always, I hold Thor in my heart and allow my mind to bring forth memories, each a snapshot of how he was right then. And, as I have from the time he first drew breath, I wish and desire only the best things in life for him. I’m grateful that at forty-three, he does have a multitude of all those best things. May the future continue to bless my son.

THIRTEEN YEARS TO NINETY

          

In an earlier post, I made reference to the fact that in thirteen years I will be ninety years old. I am so sorry I ever did the math for this fact because I cannot seem to keep the litany, “thirteen years to ninety” out of my head. It doesn’t repeat time after time, but every so often and way more often than I’d like, that phrase darts into my mind and gives me great pause.

          I guess I’d never really looked at how much time I may or may not have left. Yes, I get a year older with each passing year. Yes, I’m not as capable with regard to some things as I once was. Yes, I’ve been retired for eleven years. No, I hadn’t really thought about what those yeses meant. Now I have and I believe I am most sorry.

          On the other hand, perhaps it was a good wake-up call because I am being more optimistic about the future and making plans that will enhance that time. But I’m also not dwelling on the phrase that keeps popping up, but trying, and succeeding for the most part I think, to stay in the day and time that’s here right now.

          It’s not going to hurt to make some plans for the future. Making arrangements for new experiences will give me events to which I can look forward. At the same time, it’s important I look to today, to now for the immediate experience at hand.

          As my time passes and that phrase, “thirteen years to ninety” pops into my head, I’m going to beat it back, ignore it, and turn my immediate attention to whatever is happening in that moment whether it’s typing for my blog, spending time with friends, hugging, petting and playing with Kuma, just whatever can enrich my life right then. Sounds like a good plan doesn’t it???

ADVERTISING, MARKETING, FUNDRAISING

 

          Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I lie in bed and watch TV. I am amazed at the number of products I could purchase simply by calling the phone number on the screen or visiting the dot com location for the product. I swear if I were to purchase each and every product advertised, I would be the healthiest and most attractive person on the planet. I’ve also noticed that when the price is advertised, it’s usually $39.95, but wait, there’s more. You can get a second bottle free and sometimes even another product to try thrown in for free. Sometimes there’s free shipping too.

          As for Facebook, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed all the various products that can be purchased that will provide better skin, thicker hair, longer nails or other merchandise that will enhance some portion of your anatomy. It also seems like many of the products are advertised by some form of come on that invites you to see which five creams or lotions are the top ones. Again, if I were to purchase all these products, I’d undoubtedly be the best-looking old lady with luminous skin and thick hair down to my butt.

          I wonder if there was some kind of worldwide meeting where the various companies voted on how to split up the advertising location. That wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

          As long as I’m ranting about the different types of merchandise I can obtain to enhance my overall looks and health, I want to say something about all the oh so sad commercials for the various non-profits. If I were a parent with an ill and/or physically needy child, I definitely wouldn’t want to put my kid on national TV asking you to donate, “…just $19.00 each month.” And why is the figure $19.00 each month? Does that figure get more people to donate as opposed to say $15.00 or $20.00.

          There’s also the nonprofit that seeks your financial aid when it comes to all the doggies and kitties who are mistreated and in need of help. This commercial shows photos of dogs and cats in horrible circumstances. Now, I’m not saying there aren’t any animals that are mistreated like that because there definitely are. The commercial also indicates that ONLY 3,000 more doners are desperately needed IMMEDIATELY. Why 3,000 and why repeat that number over and over for months. Is no one donating? I would be more inclined to donate money if the photographs weren’t so sad.

          My final whine has to do with the various organizations to which I have donated money. Why do they have to keep sending me notification after notification requesting additional donations? And, why, if funds are so depleted, do they offer me a special gift when I return my form and a check. The gifts range from shopping bags, thermometers, plants, trees, cards, self-addressed stickers to a wide variety of other items. Wouldn’t the money spent on the “free” gifts be better spent on whatever that organization is trying to save and/or improve?

          And, okay, I know absolutely nothing about advertising, marketing or fund-raising, but these various methods implemented from for-profit as well as non-profit companies have come to annoy the hell out of me. Could you tell???

MY NONPAYING JOB

 

          Ah, I do so love these, my golden years. For example, the other day as I was driving to my river exercise class, I realized keeping myself fit is almost like having a job…just without any monetary reward. For years, I’ve attended an Enhanced Fitness class at the senior center (and you have absolutely no idea how long it took me to accept the fact I qualified for a place identified as senior) three times a week. The beginning of 2023, I added the river exercise class twice a week (for folks sixty-two and above).

          Now, I realize math isn’t my strong subject, but I am now getting up five days out of the seven to do my home exercises, eat breakfast, and leave home in order to exercise. And, yes, the last few years I had a monetarily rewarding job, I got up at 4:30 am to go to the gym, but that was different.

          Why was that different you wonder and maybe even ask. Well, I’ll tell you. When I retired, I expected to have no days with any sort of schedule. You know, just get up whenever I felt like it, laze around, eat when and what I wanted, go to bed whenever I pleased and not live my life according to any sort of schedule.

          And, okay, having this exercise schedule benefits my physical and mental well-being so that I can remain independent and intellectually sound. Still, the older I become, it seems the harder I have to work to remain that way. Seriously, I’ve stated before that calling this time of my life my “golden years” should have been called the “fool’s gold years.”

          Please don’t get me wrong when you read this whiney post. I’m extremely grateful I’m still able to drive myself to these torture, I mean exercise, classes; grateful I’m able to handle my own medical, dental and prescription needs, grateful I’m able to handle my own finances as well as live in my own home by myself (with Kuma). Still, I had really looked forward to a time when I wouldn’t have to do anything at all. I just didn’t realize that when that time came, I’d be in a bed in a storage, I mean nursing, facility.

          If anyone young is reading this, take my word for it…they, whoever they are, lie about growing older and enjoying your golden years. Don’t wait, take your golden years now while they’re still golden, and then get a job when you’ve reached the point where it is turning into fool’s gold.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

 

          When I got up today, I was shocked to find it had snowed overnight. Not a lot because the ground and grass show through. I think it’s most appropriate, at least for me, because today is Valentine’s Day and I’m feeling a bit bereft. It will be the fourth Valentine’s Day without John and some kind of recognition from/to him on the day before which is the day we first met. I’ve already written about that. I’m kind of surprised I’m feeling so sad and lonely.

          Rather than stay in bed, laze about on the couch with Kuma and feed my sorrowful feelings, I had the day I would have had regardless. The sun even shone although it didn’t warm up all that much. So, even though I didn’t feel like doing anything at all, I did my home exercise routine, had breakfast, tidied up the house and took myself to my swim exercise class.

          After class, I went to business Costco for gas and would have liked to have picked up my new glasses at the Aurora store, but only one of the two ordered pair is there. I didn’t want to make a trip for each pair. Gas tank full, I took myself down Aurora to Qdoba and ordered a Burrito made to my specifications and sat in my car and ate it…it was yummy.

          Back home, I took Kuma outside and chucked the ball until his tongue was falling out of his face. Before my exercise class, I scheduled a pedicure for 4:00 pm, so delayed my shower and shampoo until after…I don’t like the lotion they apply to my feet and legs.

In my nightie, I prepared French dips made with the flank steak I cooked on Monday. Then, before bed, I finished off the pint of Sea Salt Caramel Truffle ice cream. Kuma got his fair share of both since it is Valentine’s Day.

Have to say I am proud of myself for moving forward and having my usual Tuesday. I thought about John a lot throughout the day, but the thoughts and memories were good ones and heaven knows I have a plethora of those from which to choose.  

HARPER LADIES' LUNCH

 

          Yesterday, I wrote about friendship, probably because I was looking forward to the “Harper Ladies” lunch. This lunch is an event we began scheduling a couple of years ago. The impetus was the age of our Aunties or Moms. Aunt Elaine will be 96 this year and Auntie Phyllis was 93 last month. We all wanted more time with these funny and engaging women before it was too late.

          It’s always great to see everyone and to catch up on what’s been happening in each other’s lives and yesterday was no different. I’ve included a photo niece Mandy managed to take that includes all of us. Beginning with Mandy on the left up front and going counter-clockwise) are Aunt Phyllis, her daughter Sandi, moi, my daughter-in-law Angie, Sister Mary, Aunt Elaine, Mary's daugher Gilly and Mandy's daughter Abby.

          At our first restaurant lunch, both the Aunties ate and were ready to depart in less than an hour. Future lunches found us younger ladies stretching out the time by not ordering as quickly and lingering over and after our lunches.          

          Yesterday, some of the talk centered around what was going to happen when both the Aunties are no longer able to attend the lunches. Since Auntie Phyllis always has a glass of wine, us young’uns pledged to always have a glass of wine in her honor. For those of us driving, we might have to have longer lunches. There was also talk, as always, about health problems and/or successes. There’s a painful back, knees that are being difficult and being addressed by doctors and physical therapists, exercise efforts that we agree make us all feel better, whether one niece who has no children as of yet is taking one of the Auntie’s previous advice seriously (apparently not because she’s not yet in the family way), and lots of laughter and joking before and after lunch. Once lunch was served, it became fairly quiet…most of us were starving I think.

          There was also discussion about family members who are no longer with us. The youngest of the ladies is interested in geneology and asked questions about antecedents which we older ladies attempted to answer. She’s also interested in seeing more photos. I need to see what I have tucked away on the off-chance I have some to share.

          All in all, it was a very pleasant couple hours and we made plans to do it again in mid-April. We parted with lots of hugs, promises to keep in touch, and how happy we were to see each other.

          After I took Aunt Elaine home, I went a couple blocks down the street from the Foss Villages and joined my BFF at the neighborhood bar. It’s more of an outside venue as opposed to inside, especially when they have a band performing. Several of my BFF’s neighbors are in the band. It was chilly but very pleasant and the raspberry cider was the perfect dessert to my lunch. It also made the remainder of my afternoon very pleasant.