DECISION MADE???

          It’s going to be a go…the garage sale that is. Yesterday, when I finally drug out the vacuum cleaner and dusting rags, I began to eliminate stuff from my living room. These are just things that I have to dust over and over and over and over. Why on earth I ever thought I needed so much glass stuff, I have no idea. And, it isn’t just glass, it’s other possessions as well.

          The shelves and tables aren’t bare, but they are holding a lot less. Once I go to Office Depot and get some stickers, I’ll begin pricing and boxing this junk, I mean wonderful belongings, up. I’m sure none of it will sell for what I paid for it originally; however, I was always fairly cheap and wouldn’t spend more than $10 and usually less when buying something. I know I do have some spendier pieces that were gifts, but it’s time to file the memory of who gave and why and let go of the actual item.

          It’s fairly amazing how much better I’m feeling now that I’ve made that decision as well as a couple of others that I’ll share more about later. I guess I’ve been kinda waiting for someone, anyone, to offer assistance and/or decisions with regard to all this stuff. You’d after all this time I’d know the only decision maker here is me.

          You see, John never ever made an important decision for me. There were many times when I just wanted to crawl into his lap, have him cuddle me and tell me what to do. It usually had something to do with changing jobs or family/friend relationships. The decision for me was always very difficult. “Just tell me what I should do?” was my refrain.

          The refrain was ignored with the exception of John playing Devil’s advocate. He’d go over all the minuses with regard to the yes or no decision; then, he’d do the pluses. But, he never gave me a pat on the head and told me unequivocally exactly what I should do.

          John did this for most of our marriage; however, the older he became, the more opinionated, especially after he retired and spent hours on the computer he was. There are organizations and people on the internet who look for and attract individuals like my husband. I think I’ve mentioned before how far right wing he became in the last ten plus years of his life. He became a Devil’s advocate for the devil(s) in my opinion.

          I soon learned not to discuss important decisions with him, because his advice (demand) in no way, shape or form was beneficial. One piece of advice readily comes to mind. It had to do with my 403b retirement plan. I wanted to move the money some place where it would continue to grow (I’d received some bad advice from the company plan holder.) as well as be readily available should I need to tap some of those funds.

          I bought a couple of books and did some research before finally making a decision. John’s advice was I take ALL the cash and put it into a saving account; or better yet, buy gold with it. I explained I’d have to pay income tax up front which would eat up over half the funds. He came back with how risky the stock market really was, which considering the amount of money I’ve lost in the last week might now be true.

          Still, I went ahead with my decision to invest; and it was withdrawals from that account that paid for John’s medical, dental and pharmaceutical needs for the last seven plus years. Since I stopped taking withdrawals last fall, my account grew very well up until, as I said above, the last week and the coronavirus affect on the stock market.

          So, the garage sale is on and I’ll be busy working toward it. I also think I’ll sell the house, but that’s not yet a definite decision. I need to do some research and figure out if it would be beneficial financially to sell and move someplace else where my only responsibility would be writing a check. But, that’s also a decision I don’t have to make immediately. As long as I can pay the property taxes and remain healthy and able to care for myself, I’ll be here.  I just don’t want to get to the point where family or whoever is making my decision for me.  If nothing else, John did teach me decisions about me, myself and I have to be made by me, myself and I.