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Monday, January 6, 2020

BAD TIMES ERASED BY MEMORIES


          My son’s wife asked me to pull photos of our life together and she and my granddaughter would make the photo collages for John’s celebration. I had organized our photographs by year fairly soon after I retired. I simply wanted to give her the boxes and let her choose, but she wanted me to pick them instead.  

          A couple of weeks after John’s death, I pulled the boxes out of the closet and prepared myself for a chore I simply didn’t want to do. Amazingly, the process of going through all the photos of our years together (and even before we met), was like applying a good antiseptic balm to a very bad burn.

          I spent an afternoon going through all those photos and the memories they brought back. It was amazing how seeing us as we were as children, young adults, a newly married couple, with each of our children and then grandchildren brought back so many wonderful memories of great times, experiences, and our deep love for each other.  

          Grief and anger may have been at the forefront of my thoughts prior to doing this, but once I was finished, I felt at peace. We had had a great life together. We had had great experiences together. We had raised two wonderful boys who became wonderful husbands and fathers. Despite all the angst, anger, frustration, and a seemingly lack of caring for each other during those last years, the truth was we did love and care for each other.  

          What a wonderful gift my daughter-in-law gave me, most likely without thinking it was a gift, but it most definitely was. And, the memory boards she made from those photos…well, they’re in the closet now and will continue to bring me comfort as needed because they illustrate our remarkable history.


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