BUSY AND SAD

 

         Sorry I didn’t get a SHE installment ready for today. I wasn’t feeling especially creative. It’s hard to be creative when you’re feeling sad and lonely and watch parts of your life go away. And, okay, this has been the goal for months now, but I’m finding it’s still hard to say farewell.

Saturday morning, AJ, Thor and Haley all arrived at the house. Haley and I drove (well, just Haley drove) AJ’s truck full of recyclables out to Kenmore for the recycle event Kenmore and LFP were having today. We eliminated about seven old tires, a huge television set, an old and very heavy laptop, the spare tonneau cover from the Silverado and its side rails (why on earth John brought that back home when he got a new one, I have no idea), and some other electronic stuff.

When we got back, AJ and Thor were hard at work removing crap from the north side of the house. So much rotten wood I’m surprised I don’t have carpenter ants. Other pieces of wood, some good and some bad. The pieces of good wood, Thor took home with him. AJ piled all the other wood and nasty stuff in his truck for a dump trip. There were also probably a dozen huge cardboard boxes that had been stacked up flat. Amazingly, they weren’t wet and Haley cut them up. They’re now leaning against the telephone pole at the end of the driveway ready for the recycle truck on Monday.

Originally, I’d planned to pay Haley to drive Thor’s stuff in her truck to his house, but amazingly, he got everything including some stuff he wanted I’d designated for Goodwill into his van. As I’ve said before, I’m not good with sizes that involve square feet, inches, yards, cubic area or whatever. I really have to have a ruler or tape measure to figure out just how big an item actually is.

Then, the boys (somehow I cannot call them men even though they are 50 and 40), went into John’s room and sorted through a huge box of ammunition. Each one took half of what was there. They’re also going to come back and each take an empty gun safe to their own homes.

On the lighter side of things, it is always so enjoyable to watch my two boys and granddaughter in action. They laugh and joke and talk about the various pieces of stuff they’re dealing with. Sometimes they curse their father when they come across something that really should have been dealt with in a better way…like the ground wire to the electric panel John had installed a few years ago.

I enjoy listening to them and adding my own thoughts and ideas when appropriate. This morning I apologized I guess one too many times because AJ got upset with me and kinda yelled. He told me I had nothing to be sorry for that we’re all dealing with dad’s shit and to stop saying sorry. So, even though I hate having all of them spend their off hours helping me deal with this crap, I guess I won’t be saying sorry…at least aloud…in the future.

Today, I did tell them that when I leave this house for my new one that they will not have to move anything for me. If all goes as well as I’m hoping it will, I’ll walk out the front door and everything I’m taking with me will fit in my Rav4. While I’m not SHE, I am planning and hoping that once I find that particular piece of property and have a very small house erected, I can purchase all new furnishings and anything else I’ll need to make it MY home.

Then, an extra special treat after they all left. AJ’s friend Andrew, my third son, came by to pick up the vinyl I’d missed the last time he was here. He had a latte and stayed to chat for a while. Andrew has a great sense of humor and we spent probably an hour or more talking and laughing about their exploits when they were in school as well as a variety of other things. Then, he went through the boxes of vinyl and was really happy with what he found there. I think it was the original vinyl of HAIR he said would remain in the store and not be sold.

It was very bittersweet going through those record albums with Andrew. They were the ones we kept in our electronic tower (you know, turntable, tuner and whatever else came in those things). They were the ones we listened to the most often, but probably haven’t been played for a couple decades or more. They were all in really good shape and brought more than one great memory to the forefront. But, that’s all in the past and gone and soon, someone else will be able to purchase them and enjoy them as much as we did all those years ago.

So, that was it for my Saturday. Now, even though it’s windy, the sun is out and I should go do some gardening. But, I don’t feel like it. I feel more like curling up on the couch with my doggies and reading a book. Maybe by getting lost in someone else’s story, the sad and lonely will fade away. Besides, I am moving forward and that’s a very good thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AJ

         

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SONNY-BOY, AJ. Yes, today is AJ’s birthday so I’m posting this instead of the next SHE saga. At 2:43 pm this afternoon, my boy will be 50 years old…yes, that’s FIFTY. I can hardly believe he’s that old or that so much time has gone by since his birth. On the big plus side, I have 50 years-worth of memories of this wonderful individual.

In the beginning, he wasn’t too enthused about entering the world. I was having regular contractions, but not dilated enough, so I had to walk the floor of University Hospital for hours. After lunch, my doctor came in and decided to break my water, hook AJ up to a monitor and start a Pitocin drip. As he left to go teach a class, he told me, “I get off at 5:00 pm.”

Well, I loved my doctor and apparently, so did AJ. There were only 11 contractions after the Pitocin drip began and two of those were pushing. The chief resident couldn’t believe it and wanted to keep the graph paper, but my doctor gave it to me. It still resides in AJ's baby book.

I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before and was so thirsty. Finally, John was told to go get me some ice chips. That’s when the resident checked me and began yelling, “It’s coming, the baby’s coming.” The next thing I knew, they were wheeling me out of the room. John was plastered up against the wall holding the ice chips and looking absolutely dazed. The nurse stayed right alongside me saying, “Breath, breath, don’t bear down.”

In the delivery room, there he was, the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen in my life. Fifty years ago, they didn’t talk about post-partum depression or anything else having to do with having a baby. AJ was not an easy baby. One doctor told me he was very intelligent because he already knew there was more to life than being in a crib and that more was my holding and interacting with him. This went on from about 7:00 am until 11:00 pm or later for over eight months. I was exhausted.

The first time he didn’t get up at 7:00 am, a friend called and when she told me what time it was, I dropped the phone saying, “Oh my God, he’s dead.” Well, thankfully he wasn’t, but from that point forward he was the very best of babies.

I could probably write for pages and pages and maybe even days and days to recall all the wonderful (okay and some not so wonderful) memories I have of this man. Here are some of the ones that always make me smile.

AJ and my dad were the best of buddies. In fact, daddy called AJ Buddy all the time. I have a favorite photograph where AJ is riding piggy back on Grandpa. They are both smiling and looked so pleased with each other. AJ was only seven when Grandpa died, but he has wonderful memories of his time with my dad. AJ made me cry before we even got to the UW for graduation ceremonies:

“Mom, you know what.”

“No, what.”

“I wish Grandpa were here today.”

I followed that with the platitudes you always offer about the missing person being there, looking down, watching over. AJ was silent for a minute and said, “You know what I really wish? I really wish Grandpa had been able to watch me play ball.”

By the time we got to Hec Edmondson pavilion, my mascara was washed completely away.

When AJ began school, we found out he was dyslexic, but Shoreline Schools had a wonderful program. For a time, most of elementary school actually, I didn’t believe AJ would ever read for pleasure. In middle school, he discovered Stephen King and began reading for pleasure. I remember him reading IT and it was so scary he wouldn’t read during the day when no one else was home. As an adult, AJ began reading mostly nonfiction books and introduced me to some titles I might never have picked up.

AJ began playing basketball in grade school. John diagramed a regulation half court in the street in front of our house with the basket on the telephone pole. I always knew where AJ was when I could hear the bounce of that ball. He played in several leagues, on the middle school team and began playing as starting center when he was a sophomore in high school…he was probably the tallest coordinated kid there.

It was a joy to watch him go up and down the court. To watch him pump fake and rise above the defenders to put the ball in the net. I thoroughly enjoyed every single game and except when I had pneumonia, I made every single one.

When he graduated from high school, he went to work as a seasonal laborer for the Seattle Parks Department. When fall came, he attended Shoreline Community College and played basketball for them. He continued to work for Parks as his schedule allowed until he received his AA. He knew what he wanted to study, but was told by people in the know that there would be no career for a white boy in Native American studies (even though he’s 1/32^nd or 1/48^th or something Cherokee) or in Forestry. Even with a Ph.D., he’d end up in some bayou in Louisiana or some such place.

Parks offered him a permanent part-time position. He accepted. They wanted to know if he wanted to pay back the percentage he got as a seasonal because the city didn’t pay into retirement for seasonal positions. Yep, sounds like a good idea. For a time there, I actually thought he’d have enough hours to retire before me. Soon, a full-time position came open and he took it. Later on, he was moved to the HVAC unit and the city paid for a number of trips and educational classes. One year, a contractor who’d worked on one of the community centers tried to say it wasn’t his company’s fault when something went wrong. AJ had all his notes and information proving the contractor had to replace whatever went wrong on his own nickel…proud of my boy I was.

He met and then married Angie 23 years ago this year and they’ve worked together to make a home and life together. Angie’s been more like a daughter than a daughter-in-law, assisting me and John as we got older and had needs with which she could help.

Then, blessing of all blessings, they produced the apple of my eye, Haley Autumn. That was almost 19 years ago now and there isn’t a single day I don’t give thanks for this beautiful young woman. AJ has been a wonderful father to Haley and taught her so many things that most young women don’t necessarily know. But she wanted to learn and he was happy to teach.

I feel so very blessed to have produced AJ, but the majority of the credit doesn’t really go to John and I. It is/was AJ who made good choices. It was AJ who grew and changed and became the responsible, honest, funny, loving man he is today. I’m sure there are many many more wonderful and positive adjectives I could attribute to my son, but I’ll stop here for now. What I think I’d like to do and may still do is look back at all the photos and pick one memory per year. I wish I’d thought of that sooner because what I’ve written today pales in comparison to that idea. Of course, instead of being on page three as I finish this Word document, I’d probably be on page 50…one for each year of AJ’s life…and that might have been a few pages too long.

In any case, Happy Birthday to my son, AJ…your Frankenma is wishing you a year full, no, a life full of love, joy, magic, happiness, great health, and anything your heart may desire because your mom believes you deserve it.

GARAGE SALE, LAST DAY

 What a very long three days. I’m so grateful the garage sale is over and that a lot of stuff left my driveway. I wish it had been more only because now I’ll have to find a way to eliminate what’s left. Salvation Army isn’t picking stuff up. I’m going to call Northwest Center and see if they are doing pickups. If not, I’ll have to make several trips to various donation sites. Still, stuff that's been around for decades and decades now occupies someone else's space and we all made a little money.

I’m writing this Monday morning (today) and feel as though someone came into my bedroom and beat me from head to toe with a stick. I slept really hard and know once I’m up and moving around, I’ll begin feeling more like myself.

Now, it’s time to do laundry and clean up the house. It’s been more than a week since I actually did any cleaning, so the house really needs it. I’m not sure I’ll actually get there today, but eventually. For today, I have to call Magic Toyota if the check engine lights are still on in my car…not a happy surprise to see that yesterday. It happened once before and they just needed to turn them off, so I’m hoping that’s the case here. I also need to decide where to meet a friend for lunch on Thursday and prepare AJ’s 50^th birthday present for Wednesday. And water…I haven’t watered a thing for days and days and am surprised everything isn’t just falling over.

Finally, I need to continue the SHE saga. I’ve written a fairly boring chapter which will appear tomorrow. So, besides all the other shit wanting attention, SHE is at the top of my list because I want to know what comes next for her. There’s a part of me that seriously wishes me, myself and I were all in that van with SHE, and we are to the extent my imagination allows. Still, what fun it would be to actually be SHE and be journeying on down the road.

Until tomorrow.

GARAGE SALE, DAY TWO

           

Hopefully, tomorrow will bring you another chapter of SHE, although it probably won’t be too exciting because she hasn’t arrived in San Francisco where she may throw all caution to the wind.

In any case, today is the last day of the garage sale. Saturday wasn’t as successful as Friday because we only made half of what we made Friday. Still, stuff left the premises and for that I’m terribly grateful. Come tomorrow at 2:00 pm, we’ll begin packing up what’s left and have it hauled away by either the Salvation Army or Northwest Center…whoever can arrive at my house first.

So, that will take care of all the stuff in the garage and I’m sure if I looked at the memorial tree, I would see smoke drifting up from John’s ashes. When it comes to the rest of the house, I think I’ll hire one of those estate firms and have them take care of selling what I don’t want. Of course, every single thing in this house has some meaning for me, but if the boys or daughters-in-law or grandchildren don’t want it, it needs to be rehomed. I won’t be like SHE where I go out and purchase everything new, but if I do end up in a tiny house next year, then there’s no way I’ll need all the stuff that occupies this three-bedroom home.

To be perfectly honest, the thought of leaving my home of what will then be 52 years, provides me with a huge pang of sadness. We raised two kids here, there’s a ton of memories that include my life with John, my parents, John’s family, our kids and their families, but a time does come when you need to move on. I do not want to move on to an old folk’s home, a condo or an apartment, so I’m going to need to start looking almost like now.

I know it’s going to be hard to say farewell to this neighborhood, to the neighbors I’ve known forever, but next spring, the time will come. I don’t want to become a burden to my children and want to remain independent as long as possible. Who knows what the future may bring me, but by the end of today, the only garage sale I intend to have will be over. I’ve made a bit of money, things have gone away, and I’m sure whichever charity hauls the remainder away will be glad to have whatever is left.

Here’s hoping lots of people stop by after church…although I think most church services are happening on ZOOM. In any case, here’s hoping the four hours tomorrow results in the biggest sales yet…and actually as I’ve said before, it’s not the money that counts (yes, it’s nice), but the removal of STUFF that is most important.

GARAGE SALE RESULTS -- DAY ONE

         

 I’ve almost completed another SHE chapter, but thought you’d like to know how the garage sale fared. It was rather amazing, or as Maryanne put it, “I’ve never seen so many men at a garage sale before." The first gentleman arrived at 9:00 am and I told him I wouldn’t be opening until 10:00 am.  He got back in his truck and a couple of other men arrived in their vehicles. I continued with what I needed to do. Maryanne arrived and finally I was ready.

It wasn’t yet 10:00 am, but I walked down the driveway and thanked the men for their patience and indicated they could enter. I also told the first guy to arrive that he was the first into the sale. Holy Moly, but these guys were ready. For future garage salers, it’s a good idea to post pictures. I did so and included ones of the table with the tools.

These men didn’t waste any time. They came prepared with buckets and bags and hit the tool tables like locusts on wheat (assuming locusts eat wheat). It was pretty amazing to watch, and even more so because there wasn’t a  woman among them for at least 30 minutes.

In addition to the tools, the next hot item was the fishing poles and accompanying necessaries if you are a fisherman. I was amazed at the way the men went through the tools and the fishing equipment. All in all, I believe the  majority of the sales today were to men as opposed to women.

I think in some cases, some of the buyers got a really good deal because I know absolutely nothing about tools. On the other hand, as my son said, it’s gone and it’s gone for good. I also think he’s right about that. I may have sold something that was worth $20 for only $1, but I have the $1 and I don’t have to worry about packing that particular item up for the Salvation Army or whoever comes to pick up whatever is left come Monday.

Initially, it seemed like it might be a very long day, but once lunch was over, the time seemed to fly. Having to wear a mask was very good for two reasons which were COVID and the smoke in the air. And, even though I had a box of masks for those garage salers who didn’t arrive prepared, not a single person showed up without a mask. I also had hand sanitizer which I used religiously after handling money.

So, first day was very good. I really appreciate Maryanne hanging out with me both during the garage sale and after for our cocktail hour. Tomorrow, the sons are supposed to be on hand, and perhaps Haley as well. I’m just hoping the garage salers who attend tomorrow are interested in all the stuff that remains, i.e., two safes, one big cabinet with about 30 drawers, file cabinets, more tools and other stuff. Come Sunday at 2:00 pm, I’m hoping I only have to pack up a very few boxes of donation items. Yea moi…and Maryanne and Haley and my boys.

MEDICAL GUARDIAN AND WINDOW WASHING

My life is so very exciting…pause for a huge yawn…that I can barely stand it. You can probably barely stand it either if you’re reading this. Anyway, I read all the instructions and am now among the old, elderly, feeble, ancient and boring humans. Yes, I activated the Medical Guardian and am now wearing a wrist unit. Unfortunately, I also have to carry this thing that looks like small cell flip-phones looked back in the day. I thought all I needed was the wristlet, but apparently, I cannot go further than 300 feet from this other little device. And, how the hell am I supposed to know how far 300 feet is when I have difficulty figuring out how long six inches actually is???

I really hate that part of this whole thing. Yes, they did provide me with a lanyard I can place about my neck or I can remove the little part that fits into the bigger part and place it on whatever kind of chain or lanyard I’d like to use. Well, that’s not going to happen. I’ll carry the damn thing in a pocket or my purse, but I will not hang such a thing around my neck…at least not until I hit 90 at the very least.

The paperwork has also been filled out and Medical Guardian will soon have the names of my children and a neighbor they can reach out to should I fall and break my leg or whatever. At least the four people on my list will rest much easier when I don’t answer my phone or call back or text right away. I don’t know who first said it sucks getting old, but s/he was right on the money.

On a happier note, last night I put my remaining five orchids in the kitchen sink with lots of water for an overnight soak. I’d taken out the other plants last week because they were infested with fungus gnats. To cure that, you’re supposed to top the dirt with sand because they cannot get through and die.

Today (Wednesday), I removed the other items in that window and decided which ones would go to the garage sale. Then, I fixed myself a bucket of vinegar, ammonia and hot water and climbed up on the counter to wash and squeegee the window. It’s not an ordinary window, but a garden window, and if I could stand in the sink, there wouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, I think my weight in the sink would lead to a serious plumbing problem, so that’s out of the question.

I brought in one of my gardening knee-pads so I could put my bony knees on something that wouldn’t hurt like hell. Then, bending, leaning and putting my left hand on the side of the cupboard, I was able to clean the window. After that, I even went out to the deck and cleaned the outside…it sparkles now. And, not to waste all that good, but not filthy water, I carried the bucket, squeegee and towel to the front hall and washed the door window inside and the entire door outside.

That was enough for today, so I emptied the pail, had some iced tea, finished my book and then replaced the orchids, plants and stuff that is going to remain in the kitchen window until I leave this house. It is my most sincere hope that I do not have to clean that window ever ever ever again.

So, once again, a productive day…more or less. True, I didn’t spend an entire eight hours doing stuff in the house, but I did water the front and back gardens and my pots. Oh, and spent some time reading those directions and becoming safe. Would have served me right if I’d fallen off the counter and bashed my head. Wonder if the kids would have gotten the money for the Guardian back if that had happened. In any case, I was extremely careful climbing up and down.

So, another post about the exciting life and times of this writer. It’s actually rather repellant as far as I’m concerned because I had such plans before the pandemic. You were going to regaled about the life and times of a lonely, grieving widow as she ventured out into the big, wide world searching for excitement, new experiences, new friends and acquaintances, maybe even a new man or men about whom those posts would titillate (I do love that word.) you. Instead, you get a post about Medical Guardian and window washing…I actually don’t know who should be more disappointed, you the reader or me the writer. 

MEDICAL GUARDIAN, CARDS...AND I'M SO READY

           

 It’s here, it arrived, but I haven’t taken the time to read all the information and figure out what I’m supposed to do next. I’ll do this at some point this morning. And, what I’m talking about is the Medical Guardian. And, I did get two wristlets, one black and one white.

So, I don’t have much else to say about it quite yet. Just from taking it out of the box, it appears there are several pieces and I’m going to need to plug one of them in and allow it to charge. I’ll figure more out this morning when I read all the instructions in depth. Why is it anyway that things don’t come ready to go? Why do you have to read all the instructions and do whatever they tell you to make something work? I would much prefer stuff to arrive where all I have to do is put it on or plug it in and that’s it. I don’t want to have to read instructions…what would happen if I couldn’t read? Anyway, it’s annoying.

I went to Diamond in the Mall and talked to Ron today. He’s more than willing to help me and gave me some information I can use for research. I’m still going to need to do another spreadsheet (have I told you I hate Excel?) so he can see what I have on hand. Of course, once I have a spreadsheet, it will be helpful if I try to sell on E-bay or wherever.

Thor also called, just as I was thinking of him. He’s going to stop by and help me clean out the card safe. He thinks he can tell me which cards might be worth some money and which cards might not. He also pointed out that when I gave Andy all the vinyl on Saturday, I didn’t include the vinyl that is probably worth the most money.

It was really frustrating to hear this, because I stood close enough to those records while Haley packed up another box to have been bitten if there’d been a snake. Thor asked if I still had the stereo set up with the components all in one unit. I said that I did and he wanted to know if I had given those records to Andy. I walked back to John’s bedroom and looked, and there they all were. Thor had a good laugh and said that those were probably the vinyl that would bring the most money. Poor Andy…I’m going to have to text him and tell him I kept the good stuff.

Haley also called while I was talking to Thor. All those National Geographics I put into recycle as well as the box(es) in the attic…well, Haley has someone who’d like to have them. She’s going to get the ones in the attic down on Saturday…she better come early because it’s going to be hot up there…as well as take the ones out of the recycle tote. It’s simply amazing to me what people value, but I guess that old adage, “someone’s garbage is someone’s treasure” is very valid.

Anyway, it’s been over a year now and I’m still sorting through crap. I just want to be done. I just want to move on. I just want to have everything I don’t want or need to be gone. I just want to put this house on the market. I just want to find someplace so much smaller to call my own. Maryanne told me about a show called, “Little House Nation” on Netflix. I think I’m going to have to begin watching that for some ideas. It’s not going to happen any sooner than next spring, but I’m really ready…really, really, really ready.

CARDS, CARDS, CARDS...AAAAAAARRRRRRGH

           Well, Energizer Paula tried to continue on Monday her superlative work of Sunday. She was doing so well and figured she’d complete a very huge task without having too much of a problem…NOT!!!

John had three safes in the garage. Two of them are now empty, but the third and potentially the largest one is not. It is full of collector cards, notebooks full of collector cards and stuff about which I have absolutely no idea. From the initial viewing, I thought I’d just take out the boxes, many which are still in their cellophane wrap, and stack them in those large, but low fruit boxes I get from Costco. I’ve been saving them up for this project.

I hadn’t counted on the notebooks. I have no idea when John must have put these together, but it had to have been all the way back when I had a job and was gone for hours every day five days a week. And, did you know there are smut cards??? Yep, there are baseball-like trading cards with photos of various naked or mostly naked women on them. I’m not sure if their statistics, i.e., 36-24-36 are on the cards because I didn’t take the time to examine. There’s an entire notebook named Olivia and another named Gretchell. What do you do with this type of collector card???

There are Coco-cola and Harley Davidson collector cards of several types. Some are called gold cards and others appear to be just colored cardboard. Between what’s in this safe, a big trunk and John’s bedroom, I could probably spend the remainder of my life trying to figure out some sort of order and how to go about selling them.

There were also four stacks of old National Geographics, some dating back to the early 1920s, but I recycled them, so they’re gone, or will be in two weeks when the recycle is picked up again. Besides the cards in boxes and notebooks, there are a number of boxes that contain metal tins that apparently also include collector cards. Those still have the plastic around them as well. I’ve never ever seen anything like that before, but then I’ve not been a collector.

If they aren’t saleable, perhaps I’ll get a firepit for the backyard and burn them. In fact, I could set the firepit up adjacent the family burial tree and laugh like a mad woman as I toss each one into the fire. Do you think John’s ashes would begin to smoke??? I simply cannot imagine how much money he invested in the purchase of all these cards. Is this supposed to be my inheritance; and if so, why couldn’t he have left some sort of instructions that would tell me what to do with them??? The photo on the right is just the top shelf.

I haven’t been angry with John for several months now, and I’m not going to be angry today. Instead, I have a plan. I’m going to go see the shopkeeper John knew who trades in cards and stuff down in the local mall. I haven’t ever spent a lot of time in his store, Diamond in the Mall, and I hope it’s still open and viable.  I’m sure he can advise me as to what I should do with this huge stash of stuff. Maybe I’ll even get lucky and he’ll either offer to purchase or take on consignment.

I figured I could sell stuff on E-bay, but that hasn’t gone so very well at all. The few things I placed either did not get a response, or the response was a very low offer which I didn’t accept. Youngest son is apparently selling stuff on E-bay and doing quite well. Maybe I could get him to give me some pointers that would make it easier for me. I think I’d even be willing to pay him for his time if he would do that. Or, maybe he’d just like to do the posting and selling and I’ll split the income with him. Think we’ll need to have a bit of a talk.

As for the big safe, I really wanted to include it in the garage sale and get it out of here. AJ and Haley and maybe Thor will begin giving me a hand next weekend. Perhaps they’ll be willing to clean it out and schlep the stuff to the junk (John’s bedroom) room. I’m simply not up to doing it no matter how energized I’m feeling. If I even try further, I think I may lose my energy and have to have another pity-party…don’t want to go there since whatever got into me was great and I’d like it to stick around.