HOSTAS AND A SAD EMAIL

If only the Hosta plant had much nicer blossoms. They are a pretty lavender, at least the ones I have are, but they are really not much to look at. The stalk is tall and I discovered if you don’t make sure to water well, the stalks will lean way down. I thought they were seeking the sunshine, but I gave them a really good drink and while they didn’t stand all the way up, they did straighten up quite a bit.

There’s always a point during the summer when I’m ready to put the garden to bed for the winter. I’m not quite there yet, but I did clean out that one flowerbed and today I began to yank out the alstroemeria. Short of pouring Roundup on top of the growing spots, which I won’t do, I think the only way to keep this plant controlled is to yank up every single stalk as soon as it appears above ground. Now, the question is, will I be faithful and do that so as to eliminate this plant. I wouldn’t mind if it stayed in the one space, but it wants to travel far and wide.

In today’s email there was a message from the man who was John’s best man at our wedding. He and his wife at the time were our best friends for about five or six years. Then, John and I separated and Mike left his wife with three small children, two adopted, for another woman who was apparently carrying his child. We, of course, weren’t supposed to know that, but we did.

John and I got back together and saw a marriage counselor and managed to stay married for the remainder of John’s life. Once Mike was divorced, he married the other woman and moved to the other side of the sound. We only saw him now and then, mainly when he came to town to see his folks. I think I may have met his second wife just a time or three. They did stay married and all the kids, his and hers and theirs have all grown up and made them grandparents, and maybe even great grandparents.

Mike did come to John’s retirement/birthday party and had lots of funny stories to share which we all enjoyed tremendously. He also came to John’s celebration and I believe he had prepared something for when we asked people to share. But we didn’t have a true memorial where people talked and everyone listened. Instead, we told stories in a more personal one-to-one manner.

The purpose of Mike’s email today was supposedly to find out how I was doing; however, however, the real purpose was to tell me his first wife, Patty Lou, had passed away and had dementia toward the end. This made me very sad…not that Mike reached out seven months after sending me a Christmas card, but that Patty Lou had died. I absolutely loved that woman and was so sad when she and Mike split and they both pretty much went their own ways.

Patty Lou was the kind of woman who always, always made you laugh. She was so much fun to be around and I always looked forward to going to their house to play cards or games or just visit. Patty Lou raised her three children, and as far as I know did a great job. We lost touch and I’m not really sure exactly why. She never remarried and if she had any kind of a relationship with another man, I never heard about it.

We sure had some good times way back then though. John and I hadn’t been dating too terribly long when they invited us to dinner. Patty Lou couldn’t make gravy, so I did. It was HORRIBLE, but John ate it on his potatoes as thought it was some gourmet food…true love at last.

I remember going to the Ellensberg Rodeo. We hadn’t made reservations anywhere and ended up staying in some kind of hotel that had actually been an office building. They’d just installed a sink in the room and beds...we're probably luck bedbugs weren't inhabiting the place The bathroom was down the hall. We went to bed and to sleep and suddenly, there was all this yelling and fighting and carrying on in other rooms and in the hallway. We didn’t go out to see what was going on. We just stayed in our room and made a lot of noise when we left in the morning.

At the rodeo, we were walking all over the place and Patty Lou and I found this horse that had this huge thing hanging down. We thought perhaps it was a penis, but being city-girls we weren’t sure, plus there were other horses that didn’t have any. We backtracked and found Mike and John and urged them to come see what we’d discovered. Yes, it was a penis and the guys howled when we asked why the other horses didn’t have one. Turns out they were mares…sill city girls.

They had their son before John and I married. I remember babysitting him when he wasn’t very old so they could have a date night. The baby got up and I went about changing him. Since he couldn’t move around, I left him on the changing table while I went and got a warm washcloth. When I returned, there was water all over the place, including his face. I couldn’t figure out where it came from because there wasn’t a leak in the ceiling or anything. Patty Lou laughed so hard when I told her about it and explained that the baby had peed while I was gone.

After we married, they had a little girl who didn’t survive for very long. I never knew if the doctor said no more babies, but they decided to adopt and got a little girl and then a little boy. I think the little boy was adopted the year before we had AJ. I remember them coming to the hospital to see AJ for the first time. AJ was under the bililights with his eyes covered and nothing else. Patty Lou whispered to me that my little boy certainly had a big “Johnson.”

In the time we were best friends, we had lots of dinners, played cards and games, parties, roofed their house, went fishing, played terrible tricks on Mike and thoroughly enjoyed their company. I could probably sit here and type for an hour or more and barely touch on all the good times we had, whether it was at their house, our Ballard rental, this house, a trip to Portland, or whatever.

The last time I talked to Patty Lou was probably a couple of years ago. Another friend who was in touch with her asked Patty Lou if I could have her phone number. She said yes and we had a wonderful time talking and laughing about years gone past and how we were doing right at that time. I always intended to call her again, but never did, and I’m sorry for that now. I don’t know if she knew John had died or if the dementia had developed to the point she wouldn’t have remembered who he was.

So, once again, another person who helped weave the tapestry of my life has moved on. I’m grateful for the memories and pictures and everything she brought to my life, for everything we shared in what now seems like such a brief time that we had together. I do so wish we’d both made more of an effort to extend the time and add to our memory banks. Meanwhile, I know John loved Patty Lou as well and I like to think of them laughing up a storm wherever they may be.