WE'RE MARRIED!!!

         As I posted yesterday, we were engaged. The wedding planning began. John wanted a nice wedding for his mother, Pearl, because his sisters ran away to get married (to get away from Pearl I was to later learn). John lived with his mom and she had suffered a mastectomy the previous year. It was obvious John was very close to and very caring when it came to Pearl. I thought this was a wonderful relationship in the beginning. What woman wouldn’t come to love a man who revered and loved his mom…usually it bodes well for the relationship.

          I reveled in planning our wedding and sought John’s opinions about anything I thought would be of interest to him. My mom and girlfriends helped me find a dress, although it didn’t turn out to be the dress I wore when I married John. The store called me at the last minute to say my dress wouldn’t arrive in time. So, they gave me the pick of what was in the store in my size at a discounted price. I liked that dress even better than the one I originally picked…it was more tailored and suited to my style.

          My daddy was a baker and he took a two-week vacation the beginning of August. He and mom went off and had a week’s vacation out of town. On his return, he borrowed space in his first boss’ shop and made my wedding cake. It was beautiful and extra special because daddy made it just for me. The only other thing my parents paid for were the flowers. I paid for everything else.

          Of course, way back then, people getting married didn’t have huge expensive parties. You got married in the church with the reception in the church basement after. You served tea, coffee, punch, nuts, mints and wedding cake. So, the cost was not huge.

          The church we got married in had a beautiful walkway leading from the doors. I think that’s why we chose it as neither of us attended church or had a reverend to perform the ceremony. Perfect for a bride and groom to dash down through a hail of rice to their car. We paid to use the church and the reverend counselled us for a month before the wedding. We were definitely prepared, or so I thought.

          I think it was June when John confessed he had cold feet and didn’t want to get married. We had a long talk and I told him if we weren’t getting married, then our relationship would be over. By then, he was pretty much living with me in my apartment. His mother had moved some woman into his bedroom and he’d been shunted downstairs to the furnace area…icy cold and more of a crawl space than a basement. John either wanted me or he didn’t. I was so relieved when he decided he wanted me and marriage after all.

          So, the invitations went out and my excitement grew. At the beginning of August, Pearl asked John for the mortgage payment. He’d been paying all her bills for over a year because she had exhausted her savings, sick leave, etc. That was not what John’s sister said however. She said Pearl had plenty of money, but it was a way to control John                                                                                             . In any case, he told Pearl he didn’t have the money because he’d paid the rent on our apartment for August. I could tell he felt bad and was uncomfortable about not being able to help his mom.

          Perhaps Pearl’s way of getting back at John was to leave town with her boyfriend at the time and her granddaughter. She wasn’t sure she’d be back in time for the wedding. She did return in time, however, with beautiful gifts of milk glass, all of which I still have. I believe her boyfriend paid for the gifts. I was glad she returned in time because John wanted the wedding for her. And, when the photographs were circulated, she chose an 8 x 10 of us heading down the aisle. I’m looking straight ahead and John is looking at her.

          We decided we’d have a big party after the wedding rehearsal and invite the wedding party and all our friends. We supplied food and a keg of beer and I almost lost my groom before he became a husband. He was pumping up the keg and something wasn’t quite right. The spigot (or whatever you call it) flew out of the keg with such force it buried itself in the ceiling. If John’s head had been over it, it might have gone right through it or severely injured him. Of course, we were all immortal at that time and just laughed like crazy people.

          The next day was our wedding day. I went off with some of my wedding party to get our hair done. We had decided we’d have the wedding photographs taken before the wedding so we could head out from the reception to our honeymoon. I got there in plenty of time. My maid of honor and my bridesmaids and I all got ready and I managed not to cry. I have a wonderful picture of myself with my dad. He’s in his tux and holding his wallet open as if to show he was completely broke. What made me laugh was the fact it was full of money. I also have a photo of the two of us as we head down the aisle.

          John’s best man became quite irritated with him late that afternoon. They were all dressed and ready to go and stopped at this bar not far from the church to have a little “courage.” I don’t know how many drinks John had, but his best man  was getting desperate to get him out of there when they finally moved on to the church.

          John couldn't have been serious about not showing up for the wedding because when he arrived, he had a gift for me. It was a strand of real pearls. He'd heard me say at some point in time that it would be wonderful to own real pearls. So, he visited Rivkin's Jewelers before the wedding and purchased the pearls you see around my neck in the wedding photos. That's when I gave him the tie-tac made from the rose in my wrist watch and cuff links to match. He couldn't wear them for the wedding, but he did wear them whenever he wore a shirt with French cuffs.

          We had photographs taken and for a few of them, it was very hard to look as serious as the photographer wanted me to look. He couldn’t see John’s right hand, which was behind me, caressing or patting me on the bottom. Naughty naughty boy. Photographs were very expansive back then as well, so I think I only have about a dozen. And, no one ever brought their own camera to the church or reception, so there aren’t even any snapshots. I treasure the ones I do have.

          Finally, we’re married and after the expected kiss, we headed down the aisle and down to the church basement for the reception. We stood in line and greeted our family and friends, then cut the wedding cake. I changed into the hot pink suit I’d purchased to wear as we left the church. But, we weren’t done quite yet. My one aunt was horrified we didn’t have a camera. She would loan us hers if we could stop by her house. She was also hosting a little family get together once they left the church.

          We drove to my aunt’s house in Ballard and once there my other aunt began giving us a hard time about just how soon we were going to consummate our marriage. I don’t think she knew we were already living together. In any case, her many teasing comments annoyed the hell out of John. He told her we were driving to Portland Oregon that night and we’d call when we got there.

          Next up…our honeymoon!!!