CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER

  

        It’s been quite some time, five years actually, since I sat
down to write a Holiday Newsletter or send many Christmas cards. Perhaps some of you have breathed a sigh of relief while others might have missed my lovely prose. I decided to give it a try this year, five years after John passed away, to share some of what’s happened in my life since then.

To say life has been extremely lonely since John crossed the Rainbow Bridge would be a massive understatement. And, okay, that bridge is supposedly for pets, but I like to think of John on the other side with all the animals we shared over the years. With more than one day shy of fifty-three years together, his absence left a huge hole that, while I’ve become accustomed to it, hasn’t diminished one little bit. 

Just after my first trip away, which was to the Caribbean, ended the pandemic began which made my life more insular and a bit scary although I haven’t yet succumbed to that virus. Just this past year, I traveled to Costa Rica with my best friend and our doggies and to Tennessee with my son, granddaughter and her boyfriend to visit family and enjoy all Nashville had to offer. Maybe 2025 will see me jetting off to other places. 

         So, what else have I been up to in the last five years. I continue to garden and have no plans to leave the family home. I’ve been here for fifty-five years now and am hoping and praying the coroner pulls into the driveway before I have to vacate. My son, AJ, and his daughter, Haley, do a lot to help me whenever I have a need and I’m most appreciative. Other needs are met by the hiring of companies or individuals.

Before John died, I had joined the Shoreline-Lake Forest Park Senior Center and was participating in the Enhanced Fitness classes. I continue to do this three days a week. I also decided I wanted to learn about Driftwood Sculpture so signed up for a class. I now go once a week to join fellow sculpturers. Not only that, I’m now the Northwest Driftwood Artists’ newsletter editor. I love my classmates and this organization and thoroughly enjoy seeing ugly driftwood become beautiful creations…both my own and my fellow artists as well. In 2024, I was awarded second and third place for the two sculptures I entered in the organization’s contest. The NWDA show will be on May 10, 2025, at the Brightwater Center in Woodinville. Put it on your calendar and go see some great artistic driftwood works.

I also continue to enjoy the company of friends from Woodland Park Zoo, including that of my previous bosses. It’s great fun and a source of pride when we get together and talk about the “golden” years of the zoo when we were “in charge.” I have also maintained my friendships with other individuals who were part of my life before widowhood. Unfortunately, many folks who I thought were my friends as well as John’s are no longer in touch. 

When John died. We had two dogs, Karma and her son, Kaizer. It was a couple of years before Kaizer died and his mother joined him six months later. Well, John had always been the one to want a dog, so I gave away all the dog paraphernalia with the idea I wouldn’t have any more pets. Six months later, I was so depressed I could barely stand myself. My doctor didn’t prescribe a pet adoption, but she did say, “It will certainly give you a reason to get up in the mornings.” A week or so later, I saw Kuma, an Australian Shepherd, on Facebook and knew he was the one. I purchased him, brought him home and he’s been my joy, solace, entertainment, and fun for about two-and-a-half years. His name is Aboriginal for “Rascal,” and while he’s not a total rascal, he’s certainly brought a lot of happiness, comfort and love into my life. There are times when I barely wake and think it’s John snuggled against my back when it's actually Kuma…still a great comfort. Kuma is the biggest change in my life since John departed.

AJ is less than two years away from retiring from the Seattle Department of Parks and Recreation. I’m not exactly sure what the Department will do once he’s no longer available to take care of major HVAC problems. I’m also not sure what he’ll do in retirement since he has no major hobbies…maybe I can get him to take up Driftwood Sculpture???

Angie continues to work for Edmonds School District and is the Office Manager for her elementary school. While she is still a Partylite candle representative and you can order candles and other products from her, she no longer does parties in other people’s homes. She, too, has always been available and more than willing to assist me with any needs I may have and for which I’m extremely grateful. 

Haley graduated from the Everett Community College’s welding program as well as the WyoTech Diesel program. The result was she is now a welder for a company in South Park. She loves her job and the men with whom she works. She also works at Roscoe’s Ranch, a dog boarding facility, a few evenings a week closing up. Since it would be silly for her to actually take a day off, she spends Saturday’s cleaning stalls at the horse farm at which she takes riding lessons. I am extremely grateful for her, however, because if Nana needs help, she always comes through. 

Haley also has a very good friend, Tyler, whom she met in Wyoming. Thankfully, he lives in Renton instead of Wyoming. They seem to be a great couple and I’ve enjoyed getting to know Tyler as well as watching the two of them together. Only Haley’s second serious relationship, it’s clear she made good choices in both instances.

Thor continues to work for ProSweep and his wife, Amber, manages a marijuana dispensary. Their daughter Arayli is now sixteen, is being educated online and may graduate early because she really wants to begin training as a hair dresser/manicurist. She’s a gorgeous young woman who will get her driver’s license the beginning of 2025. I’m looking forward to having her do my nails and/or hair at some point.

         Thor’s and Amber’s son, Xander is ten years old, and, I swear, has his phone permanently affixed to his right hand. He expressed an interest in driftwood sculpture, and found it fun to look for driftwood and to scrape the nasty off.  The sanding part isn’t much fun because it takes FOREVER. He also was very interested in learning to sew, but Nana fell down on the job and bought a pattern that was far too small and difficult. Maybe this winter, Xander and Nana can work on further developing his sewing skills. He’s played soccer the last couple of years and it’s been a joy to watch him on the field. 

As far as my own health goes, this past year has been hard. Out of absolutely nowhere, I began experiencing chest discomfort in May. I had no idea what it was until a two-day visit to urgent care, when I was diagnosed with stable angina. A month later, the stable angina was no longer stable, and I apparently suffered a mild heart attack, with the end result being the installation of six stents in my heart. Talk about a shock…it still seems surreal four months later. Still, I feel just fine, no longer suffer from angina and am able to do pretty much whatever I feel like doing without any problems. Good for another twenty years or 200,000 miles?

I’ve also been writing off and on. I wrote three complete romance novels during covid, one of which actually had a publisher interested. Alas, it came to naught. I do post my essays and book chapters to my blog, “My Widow’s Mite.” I’ve been blogging for years about all kinds of stuff; and in case you’re interested, you can find my postings at https//paulaswidowmite.blogspot.com. Of course, there hasn’t been a publisher or a huge interest in what I think and/or write about. Still, I enjoy putting fingers to the keyboard.

How’s that for summarizing five years in a little more than three pages? 

        It is my fondest hope you and your families have an absolutely wonderful Christmas and a New Year that brings you the happiest of times.

TOO MUCH INFO...SIMPLY WAY TOO MUCH

        It’s amazing how much information there is out there and even more amazing how many ways in which you are able to obtain. I began my information gathering with one link to CNN which produces CNN’s 5 Things. I like this link and the brief information it makes available about news around the world…not too much and not too little. 

I began receiving that informative email a long time ago. It’s now been joined by at least two additional (and maybe more) CNN updates. If that isn’t enough, there’s The Daily Skimm which also sends more than one email per day. I’ve also managed to sign up for at least another two, maybe more emails a day that provide a wide variety of information from weird stories through the years to how I can be the best person possible when it comes to utilizing and working for Mother Nature’s best life.

This morning, I came to the realization that I’m receiving way too many informative emails. Should I choose to read every single one, I’d probably spend most of my day at my computer or on my I-pad just so I can acquire this (usually useless) information and delete these emails from my feed.

And, don’t get me started about the emails I receive about all the new books that are available, seemingly on an hourly basis. And, let’s not forget the emails from all the genealogical sites who want to connect me to another thirty-two family members of whom I’ve never heard. 

Somehow, it definitely seems to me that my email feed has reached an unmanageable size and it’s time to cut it back. It’s going to take nerves of steel to hit the delete button on what now has to be thousands of emails I have not opened or read. I find myself thinking there might just be a diamond among those billions of words I’m sending into the ether…how can I just delete without knowing.

But, that knowledge is simply going to have to be lost, at least to me. I simply don’t have the time to devote to accruing all that information, nor does my brain have enough cells left to acquire and save. I think what I’ll do besides delete all these emails and block future ones is to simply Google or Search for a particular item in which I’m interested when my interest is aroused…should save a lot more time for blogging that way. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who reads my blog and even those who don’t. Yep, it’s the big T-day and I can already smell the turkey cooking away in the oven. It smells yummy.

I hope it tastes yummy. I haven’t cooked a big turkey since about 2018, I think. Earlier this year, I cooked a very small one that I’d purchased at Christmas time. It was good, so I have hope for this turkey.

My neighbor stopped by this morning on his daily walk to give me a hug and wish me Happy Thanksgiving. He and his wife are hosting two of their grandkids and his brother and wife. I’m hosting my son, his wife and daughter. We had a little chat about previous Thanksgivings when there were more than 20 people around the table, including young children. I think we both mourn, to some degree, the fact our holiday celebrations have become so small.

Still that’s life. Our children grow up, just as we did and move too far to come home for the festivities or begin their own holiday traditions. I now appreciate, ever so much more than I did at the time, the huge feasts John and I hosted for our friends and family. 

Today, I celebrate both those who will join me in my home as well as those who are holding their own Thanksgiving elsewhere. Today, I’m also thankful for the memories of all the years past as well as the memories I’ll be making/sharing today.  

IT DOESN'T PAY TO STEAL

 Currently, I am so frustrated with myself I can hardly type, think or believe what’s been happening with me for the last little bit. And, I guess you could add scared to the list of feelings I’m having. Allow me to reiterate my concerns.

For the first time ever, I left my credit card at the restaurant where I had lunch on Friday. I was debating on whether I wanted to keep the waitress’ pen. My friend and I joked about being thieves because we both liked the pens provided. I decided to keep mine because I really did like it. My friend teased me about how God would punish me for the theft. 

I left the restaurant and drove to Lynnwood Costco to buy gas. Of course, I couldn’t bother myself to get out my cards in advance of my arrival at the pump. It was when I pulled out my Costco card that I realized I didn’t have my credit card. So, I used a different credit card to buy gas while I called the restaurant and asked about my credit card. Yes, they had it. Already my friend’s threat of punishment was coming true.

So, instead of going to the mall and doing a bit of Christmas shopping, I turned around and went back to the restaurant. I planned to give back the pen, but the young woman who helped me when I arrived took me back into the bar where my card was locked away. I felt extremely stupid having left it behind. The woman said I wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last. To prove her point, she held up a stack of cards that had been left behind…must have been about a half inch thick. It didn’t really make me feel less stupid and I left still in possession of the pen I stole…I should have given it back.

Today, I went to my fitness class, the post office and then to the Aurora Costco. Sheesh, what a busy place. It took forever to find a parking place and I had to be careful not to run into people, cars or long lines of carts being returned from the field. Finally, I parked, took off my seat belt and gloves and opened my wallet to retrieve my Costco card. Well, guess what, it wasn’t there. Neither was the spare card I used to buy gas on Friday. I then remembered I hadn’t returned the cards to my wallet on Friday. My punishment continues.

So, here I am back home without any of the items I planned to purchase at Costco. I’ll have to try again tomorrow and maybe the store won’t be quite as busy. Meanwhile, I’m beginning to wonder about my cognitive abilities. True, I haven’t missed any important appointments, actually lost a credit card, or done anything else that is of a huge concern. Still, it’s worrisome. Maybe there’s some truth to my friend telling me God would punish me. If that’s the case, then I promise to never ever steal another pen from a waitress/waiter. I’ll even put that pen in my car and return it to the restaurant next month when my friend and I again meet there for lunch. 

Hopefully, my punishment won’t continue now that I’ve confessed and promised to never ever again resort to pilfering a waitress’ pen. Time will tell.

CLEANING HOUSE

Serious consideration was given to hiring a housekeeping firm to come in and clean my house in advance of Thanksgiving. I decided not to do that because I’m perfectly capable of cleaning my own house…when I want to. And, based on what I found just in the dining/computer/kitchen areas, I would have been red-faced had someone else come in with their mops/dust cloths/vacuums. 

Sheesh, I had no idea I’d become such a slovenly housekeeper. This morning, I began by dusting everything up high so whatever might fall to the floor could do so prior to my vacuuming and dusting the lower items. Everything got moved so I could clean under and behind. Wowzer, but I have to say I’m probably lucky the spiders that live in Washington aren’t poisonous.

I found spiders and spider webs in places I don’t think I’ve ever found them in the past. They were behind the table that holds photos and tchotchkes, beneath the chair seats, under the table, even in the window. I was shocked by all the places that held spiderwebs.

And, dust. Again, sheesh, but when I sprayed the tchotchke table and wiped, my dust cloth looked as though I’d taken it outside and dropped it in the dirt. All the glass sitting around as well as the framed photos had a coating of dust. I’ve tried to remember just when I last dusted the dining room and cannot recall when it happened. 

My computer and desk was another shock. I knew I’d slopped food on the glass covering the desk top, but I didn’t realize just how much I’d managed to miss my mouth or the bowl/plate. There were lots of “oops” because most days I eat breakfast at my desk and some days I also eat lunch and/or dinner there as well. I used to get annoyed with John because he ate at the desk and made a mess…guess I owe him a big apology.

Now, I just have a bit more cleaning to do which involves the kitchen and I don’t expect any surprises there. When I prepare food and do dishes, it’s almost a requirement to clean up after myself. Of course, I had no idea just how bad the dining room and computer area had become, so there may be a surprise or two left. I know if I moved the stove or fridge, I’d be looking at a mess because I haven’t done that for at least a year…maybe in January I’ll force myself to do a deep clean and get beneath those appliances. I guess it will just depend on how busy my social life is or how the book I’m reading at the time holds my interest. 

HOLIDAY NEWSLETTERS...YAY OR NAY???

 

While mucking about in my computer today as I waited for the printer to print all my stuff, I came across a folder entitled “Holiday Greetings.” The last holiday greeting/newsletter I prepared was Christmas 2019. I haven’t done one since, nor have I sent very many plain Christmas cards. I’m not sure exactly why, except I felt I didn’t really have anything newsworthy to share, plus my family and friends network has become small.

Now, it’s five years later and I’m wondering if I should try sending either a newsletter or Christmas cards to the “important” folks on my address list. For all I know, some of them may have joined John in which case I would waste the seventy-some cents postage. On the other hand, it would be one way to find out who remains alive.

All the years I did a newsletter, starting when I typed, cut and pasted graphics, etc., I really enjoyed putting it together. It became even more fun when computers took away the physical cutting and pasting. I loved looking back at the year and relating what John and I and the boys had accomplished. Even after the boys grew up, married and had their own kiddlings, I always enjoyed reporting on everyone’s accomplishments.

I remember John’s sister referring to our newsletters as “bragletters;” however, I always included the bad with the good, so I never looked at our newsletters as bragging about our lives. Sometimes, we all had a good year and sometimes not. Sometimes one or more of us experienced failure in our efforts to reach some kind of accomplishment. To me, it was all worth sharing and I did so. Not only that, but I enjoyed receiving the newsletters family and friends sent out.

Over the years, I always saved a copy. They’re all in a three-ring binder in the bookcase. I wonder if the kids will enjoy looking back over them when they’re going through all my stuff at some point. Perhaps I should take a gander at them now and decide if the time has come for me to look back over my own personal year and “brag” about my accomplishments or share my difficulties. I haven’t quite decided yet. Guess I’ll have to give it some more thought while browsing years past.

LAUNDRY

 

          It’s always surprising to me when my old 286 grinds and squeaks and brings up memories I haven’t given a single though to in forever. And, then, suddenly, there it/they is, as crystal clear as a blue summer sky. This happened just now as I was putting the second load of laundry into the washer.

The memory of my mom doing laundry popped into my head. Actually, it was memories. We lived in Idaho then and I was under the age of eight. My mom used two zinc washtubs and a washboard to do the laundry every week. I don’t remember clearly, but I think this entailed boiling water on the stove and adding it to the tubs. 

I also remember some kind of device my mom used when she washed the lace/sheer curtains. This was pieces of wood that would interlock. The wood had what looked to me like needles all along the edge. Mom would fit the edge of the curtains over the needles, and once dry, they were without wrinkles. I’d seriously like to know what this device was called, so if anyone has that information, please share.

Of course, there was no dryer for the wet clothes, so they were hung on a clothesline with clothespins. I don’t remember what she did in the wintertime when the snow was higher than my head, but I’m sure we didn’t go all winter without clean clothes. Funny how parts of some memories are totally missing.

Once we moved to Seattle, mom got a wringer washer. It was a Maytag and there were hoses that went from the sink to the washer to fill up the tub. I don’t remember if the clothes went in first or after the water was added. I just know the washer left the corner of the kitchen and practically filled the door to the sink area. After the washer had sloshed for a while, mom would feed the clothes through the two rollers that were above the tub. These rollers pressed most of the water out of the clothes. They weren’t dry by any means, but they weren’t dripping either. 

There was a shed attached to the house that was mostly used for storing the lawnmower and other garden stuff. Clotheslines were strung in this shed and that’s where the clothes were hung to dry. In the winter, the clothes froze and were stiff as a board. I cannot remember if freezing them dried them or not. What a chore laundry had to be for my mom for the first thirty or forty years of her life.

Mom did get a brand new washer and dryer when they moved from Seattle. I was even luckier because there was a laundry room at my first apartment; and when John and I moved to our first house, there was a washer and dryer there as well. The landlord even let us take them to our new home when we purchased our first and only home. 

The whole point of this exercise is, I guess, my inner brain talking to moi when I was lamenting having to do the laundry. I mean, one load is already in the dryer and another in the washer. That will leave only two more loads to go, and I’ll be done with the laundry for the week in a couple of hours. Fresh sheets on the bed, fresh towels in the bathroom, fresh undies in the drawer, fresh pants and tops in the closet. 

Looking back at how laundry progressed for my mom, I really can’t/shouldn’t complain about the few hours I spend doing laundry. The mental photos my brain brought to the forefront weren’t of a woman who was, like me this morning, feeling put-upon or pissed about this chore. I remember a woman who had a smile for me, who would take time to make me lunch, give me a hug or offer words of praise or encouragement for my piddly attempts to be helpful. 

Funny how memories like this rise up from time to time and bring with them a warmth and appreciation for what came before. Today’s memories also brought a life lesson…be grateful for what you have now and be thankful for those memories of what had to be a much more difficult time for mom. Even more, I should be grateful my life never incurred the difficulties my mom had to deal with. And yet, in my memories, she did so with a smile and without complaining.